Friday, June 14, 2019



Today has been mixed and there's a point to this in a mo. I broke my new travel mug (boo) and before home time, I had a meeting with someone I can only describe as an arse of the first order. :-) The thing is, I could - and perhaps in previous years - have reflected on the bad things that happened and this would - mais oui - have coloured my view of the day.... and dare I say, not accurately.

So, many moons back, I started to keep a diary for positive stuff. A daily log of three good things that happened to me. I find this Gratitude Diary - I believe that's the term - really helps.

Rather than think back on the broken - the mug and the travel cup I bought (see what I did there? :-) ) - let's look at the better things.

I paid the money for the group into the community account. That's propped the funds up with enough moolah to cover another two meetings. We are doing okay in terms of money and this is a worry that's gone away. Okay, we're not exactly millionaires, but we are not limping from month to month, worrying that the venue would close its doors on us.

Last night two old regulars - Sarah and Alison - popped by to say hello. We had a good old natter about various things, but Alison mentioned that it's been pretty much ten years since she first came to Chameleons. She's transitioned now and you can see she's much happier in herself. Ali's a different person to who she was all those years ago, so seeing a friend grow is really cool in my book.

If I think back to today, yes, I could look at the things that had not gone as I'd liked. But, rather than that, what about looking at what was better? The rain let up for a bit, I got to the bank without any major hassle, I had a tasty lunch. I collected my new maxi skirt and its very pretty. That saved me a trip into town looking for one and the Ever Lovely Mrs J was cool about me ordering it too. All of these things are, in my book, moments of goodness to be cherished.

Going back to Thursday's, I think you could look at my outings as two nights in a month when I'm all of who I am. Or, I could look at Thursdays as a time where I have the choice to appear as Richard or Lynn. Neither is better or worse: just different. Well, okay, my Richard guide is a bit more sweary, but we'll gloss over that. :-) Sure, it's an effort to get a good shave, pack a bag, but I think the effort - although not always the result! :-) - is worth it.

I guess what I'm saying is if there's any point to this post, is enjoy the moment. Rather than rushing to the next thing or worrying about what might be: just enjoy as you can.

Take care,

Friday, June 07, 2019

Just for fun


The other day the Every Lovely Mrs J sent me a link around How to be an Ally to Trans People (link here if you're curious), bless her. We had a bit of a chat - and a few laughs about the training we'd had over the years - some good, some great, some that *ahem* might need a spot of improvement.

Now, occasionally I get to do a bit of Q&A around what it can mean to be Trans*. Through Chameleons, I've had just under a dozen or so training opportunities with various organisations in and around Nottingham. Now, not only does this get me out a bit (which is cool in my book), but it brings funds into the group, and lets me fly the flag a little. Sure, I'm pushing on an open door, but people are genuinely curious and I think that's great. Much as there are occasional steps backwards - not mentioning a certain bigot coming to the UK this week -  as a rule, things are improving.

For kicks & giggles, what if we twisted the not-so-PC questions that we T folk sometimes hear? I mean, what about the idea of an event to celebrate being straight as per the news this week? What if we ran the following questions at a seminar as people walked in?

  • When did you decide you were cis & straight? Are you sure it's not just a phase?
  • Are they real? [points to top] I mean, they look pretty real. Can I touch one?

  • So, what's in your - you know - underwear? [waves hands around the groin area] Do you think you'll keep things as they are?
  • Does having your family jewels loose hurt? Wouldn't you be better tucking them away? I mean you don't want them to flop around in your trousers right?
  • Is this a bit like doing drag then?
  • Who helped you with your makeup this morning? It looks pretty good.
  • Is that your own hair? You didn't buy it then? It looks very real.
  • How long did it take you to grow a beard? Do you think it'll get fuller as you leave it?
Some of those are a bit near the knuckle, so treading carefully might be a good idea. :-) I'm not sure I'm quite brave enough to take the above approach - it is meant in jest - but it does seem like a lot of fun. But, maybe when you've been asked the Trans equivalent of those, maybe it's more tired than amusing. I hope that's not the case.

Still, I think when used appropriately, maybe a bit of humour can be used to break the ice and hopefully change some views too.

Take care,