The whole trans gig can be pretty onesided. If you're reading this, I'd wager either you're trans-something-or-other yourself, or you know someone who is. Well, that's not totally true, you could be hopelessly lost and wondering why a chap nearly half way through his years likes wearing a dress and make-up.

On a more serious note, being the wife, girlfriend (or boyfriend even) of a trans person isn't always easy. We do put you through it and sometimes it may well feel like it's all we care about. I would disagree that it's all we think about, although I will say with gender being such a core part of who most of us are when we question it, it can cause a lot of introspection, exploration, and even distress if things don't go well.

Please know that such things are temporary and matters will settle down. You may be wondering, well, how temporary? The quick answer is as soon as the trans person gets their head around who they are. They may need time, space, and some freedom to explore. This can be distressing for you, and that's understandable. If, however, you keep talking openly and try to be supportive of both of your needs, you'll get there.

Do you have to get involved? No, not if you don't want to. You don't have to see him dressed up and you don't have to go out or do anything you don't want to. But what if you did? Would it be that bad? At least you'd know what he was up to LOL.

Being able to talk about it really helps. No, really it does. It's more about sharing what's going on between you and if you buy your tranny partner some small item - a lippy or a bracelet - or let them know you'll be out until 6pm ("Make sure you're in boy mode when I come back.... and don't forget to Hoover!"), chances are they will be very grateful.

If you'd like a bit of help, maybe to find out how other people like you deal with it, or maybe just someone to talk to; there are a growing number of partner forums and websites out there. I don't have any recommendations because blogs and sites come and go. I'd recommend a look in via a search engine of your choice and see which are the more active ones.

If you have any suggestions about the above - maybe some advice of your own or some links, then please do get in touch or add them below.


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