Friday, April 13, 2018

Helping in little ways

Hi,

After a week or two of zero trans related activity, two things come along at once. If it helps, feel free to imagine a pair of Clapham omnibus rolling in. Tickets ready? Ding ding! :-)

Bus 1

Earlier in the week, it was time for a training event in Nottingham. I'd arranged it some time ago and managed to squeeze it in my lunch hour. I try not to swing the lead too much when I'm at work. I may not have the best record for timekeeping, but I like to think I put my all in when I'm in. Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! ;-)

I called just before setting off to make sure everything was still on. The lady who'd requested the training - we'll call her 'B' - was a little surprised when I introduced myself as Richard. "We were expecting, Lynn. Is she not coming?" Cue a quick apology around names, given that mostly I'm Richard, except when I'm not. That seemed to do the trick and it was all systems go.

I've ditched the PowerPoint slides after the last event seemed to go very well just using a whiteboard and we talked through a few key ideas. This worked for this team too and they asked some great questions. Given the coaching training at work, I'm trying to make this much more reflective and get the teams' view on things, rather than me stand there and talk. I think it's the answers they give and the conclusions they arrive at that add the value. At least, I hope so.

For a brief moment, my guard was completely down and I forgot I was in Richard mode if that makes sense. Less of the feeling slightly not quite dressed appropriately. Maybe it was because the group (all women) were so welcoming, that it happened. I sort of snapped back (mentally) and my brain played through the idea of me sat there as Lynn. Perhaps going back to B's original comment on the phone. Not that that was on the cards, not on a workday and not with the kids off for school.

They seemed satisfied with the group discussion and as I left, I remembered a few things I didn't cover. Still, you can't cover everything, and maybe these items were relevant. I might not have made the Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV), but in my own little way, I'm trying. Wittier people may say 'very' before that, but they'll not be on my Xmas card list. ;-)

Bus 2

After that just-a-bit-too-long-between-meetings gap was over, it was time for Chameleons. I was torn between jeans and a pretty top, or dress and heels. Given the weather, I opted for the dress and a cardie (see right).

Now, I've been using a pop-sock as a wig cap for a while, so I thought it was best to buy the proper thing and try that. I keep my natural hair pretty short, so come the end of the evening, I tend to have the telltale lines on my scalp due to the wig.

I unwrapped and carefully pulled on said wig cap. So far, so good. Hair combed, wig on, and downstairs I went. I forget who I was talking to, but I could feel the cap begin to slide off my head and retreat under my wig! Luckily, the conversation came to a natural close as the other party popped out for a brew. As I stood up, I felt the cap scurry over my scalp and ball up under my wig at the top of my head. Whoops! I headed off to the bathroom to adjust. Luckily I did not look like I was sporting a 60s do / Mars Attacks stylee. :-)

I had a good chat with the regulars, although poor Val was ill, so she had to duck out early (get well soon, Mrs!). I did have a long-ish talk with a new member and she was kind enough to say some very nice things about the group. I hope the others have read that too, because I think that really shows we can make a difference.

Reasons to be cheerful, eh?

Take care,
Lynn

12 comments:

  1. I do love the VERY little you do. Oops, just got deleted from the Xmas card list. Oh well, I'm not on it anyway.

    Seriously, love the fab outfit. I want that dress!

    Calie xxx

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    Replies
    1. ( A polite smirk goes here ) :-)

      Talking of lists, for some odd reason, I never get an alert when you post a comment, Calie. Talk about deep stealth :-D

      Thanks for the kind words re the outfit. I think I've had the dress ages and yet it seems so popular. Maybe it's a new modern classic.... if that's not an oxymoron :-)

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    2. So...you don't get an email when I post a comment? That's weird.

      Delete
    3. Nope, I don't. It is odd.

      I do check the Blogger control panel's list in case your name pops up. I see your comments, and I see your comment listed in the blogger admin section. But, never an email alert. Weird huh?

      Delete
  2. I think that you are amazing for doing those training sessions. As for the company and the long lunches - you are putting their training into practice and improving yourself. Sounds like a win win :)

    And that is a great outfit :)

    Groetjes,
    Stace

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    Replies
    1. That's really kind, Stace; thanks Mrs. I suppose I'm pushing on an open door as folk are asking for training. Maybe, though, it helps normalise things and through shared stories we realise we've more in common that not.

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  3. Well done for doing training in this field and I reckon alternating modes is actually a good way of making the point about the way trans life affects our presentation (pun intended). Sue x

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Sue. I see what you did there. :-) It's a chance for people to ask anything without judgement. None of their questions were rude or iffy. I think you could tell they were being honest and also trying really hard to understand too.

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  4. Wig tip, Lynn. I had the same issue wearing a proper wig cap, with my hair creeping up in the rear. I have learned to secure the wig cap with a couple bobby pins at the nape. Cap stays, hair stays. Mad skills!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Leslie. I think my hair may be too short for that. Would duct tape work? :-)

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    2. I think it might, if you don't value your real hair. Let me know how it works out.

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    3. Well, thanks (!!) to the gift of hooded eyes, I tried face taping and fixing that to my wigcap. That was fine until I found I'd got some hair caught in it.

      Careful now. ;-)

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