Friday, March 30, 2018

Greener grass

Hi,

Ah, the long Easter weekend is upon us. Let's hear it for bank holiday breaks and two weeks off with the kids. Well, not that I'm off for two weeks; chance would be a fine thing ;-)

Antisocial Media

It's been an odd week in that last Friday I took the decision to remove Facebook from my smartphone. The allegations around data use by various third parties have been rumbling for a while, but I think it was that Friday when something finally clicked in my head. Wittier folk may like to think that someone clicked the 'dislike' button, but I'm not sure I've the energy for that gag. ;-)

So, why the change? Now, I'm a social creature at heart and I do like to share stuff. While that may be true, I'm picky on who I'll 'friend' in social media terms. My rule of thumb is actually knowing you from home, work, social, online, or suchlike. Perhaps understandably, I took to social media like the proverbial. No, the other proverbial; not the one about something flying from a greased shovel. :-D

That Friday gone, I asked myself: what am I getting out of this? Sure, I get to see who is up to what, maybe post some funny pictures, or share a headline...

But, why? To think I have a voice? Well, I get 'likes' for photos/memes that amuse. Do I need validation around my photos through a cloud of hearts, likes, and/or wows? I have found myself looking for them, and now I wonder if that's healthy. Also, I may draw comments from things that have happened. Yet many of the folk who do comment, I see day to day. Why put a screen between us? Why not share the face to face conversation instead?

Those who have moved on, do I need to maintain that relationship? *Is* there a relationship of sorts? For some, the answer is no, there are a handful who are - to paraphrase Red Dwarf's Arnold J Rimmer  - people I met along the way. BTW, none of you reading this who are also Facebook folk are on that list oddly (Ed: backtrack, warp factor nine!) But, for whatever reason, I've 'friended' people there and much as I enjoy their virtual company, there are people close to me that I'm not so engaged with. There is, after all, only so much time in the day.

So, while I've not left Facebook yet, I'm certainly not checking it. Indeed, as time as gone on, I'm wondering if I can bring myself to walk away and delete it all. I've still got this blog, there's the Chameleons forum, and email of course.

More questions

Maybe I'm in a questioning mood because I both bought and took back some new trousers within about 24 hours. Said items are some ankle grazer slim leg style ones. Thing is, the size I picked was a little snug. I guess I ain't as slim as I think when all the curves go on. :-)

As I wondered about risking another size up and then hoping that they'd not be too big, I stopped to think. Why am I buying these? I was reminded - this happens a lot :-) - of the words from a radio journalist (I think Lauren Laverne), who shared a story about her wanting some yoga trousers... or maybe some shoes. Her learning point, if you will, was finding that it wasn't the look she wanted, but the lifestyle. The time to be able to go to that yoga class and to have space between, before going to the next thing. As a busy working mum, I'm guessing she didn't have that luxury.

So it was with the trousers. The idea of dressing for work in such garb is somewhat of a dream. The right troos, cute pumps, and a pretty shirt, plus a bounce in my step. I hesitate to use the word fantasy, because that has iffier connotations, and it's not about that. No, it's the idea of being on the school run or coming to work as me; or, more accurately, having the choice to be all of me at home/work. But, life's not a dream.

Thing is, that choice is there. I can push for it. The real question, perhaps, is what am I am okay to give up in order to get it? Right now, I'm not willing to risk family, my kid's social life, or my career to live that dream. Maybe, just maybe, the Force isn't strong enough in this one. :-)

Or, going back to the yoga lady from Lauren's story, was yoga lady looking to Lauren and wondering if the grass is greener being a busy working mum? Ah, it's all about perspective.

Happy Easter.

Take care,
Lynn

4 comments:

  1. I'm now racking my brains for the Rimmer comment... I have an idea it's from Holoship... And I am going to do my best not to Google it :)

    I'm with you on the social media front. I've (pretty much) not touched Facebook for a few weeks now. And even then I've gone to specific posts and not strolled blindly down my timeline. I don't miss it. I do miss some of the people that I met on blogs, moved to Facebook with and now don't have contact with them any more.

    But, then, I've also reconnected with my own blog. Still trying to find the time for it, but when I've managed to do that it's been fun and therapeutic engaging again. Not to mention connecting on email, where you can have so much more of a conversation than 'Like' and a quick response.

    I've not decided what I am going to do yet - maybe I'll go back and just do a major trim of the friends list. Maybe I'll just ignore it completely... Time will tell.

    Stace

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    1. Well, I won't spoil your search for those famous words :-)

      Has leaving Facebook behind helped? As much as it can be a way to stay connected, sometimes, I think it reminds us of the less pleasant aspects of humanity (discrimination, cruelty, etc.). Maybe we're back to that Grief Cycle I posted about when it comes to leaving the platform. :-)

      The Facebook stuff seems both bursty and highly repetitive in a way. You said about Likes and short comments. Almost as if the designers want you to keep coming back for these short bits, rather than dipping in once in a while ;-)

      I think I've checked Facebook a handful of times since uninstalling the app. Once was to fix a RSS bot (that ain't gonna work again) and to see if I'd really missed anything. I've not yet reinstall anything, so, like you, time will tell. There's email, as you say, and for me, the Chams forum.

      Good luck with the blogging!

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  2. Weaned myself off Facebook a while ago, needed an advanced qualification to understand the privacy settings and fed up with a relitive reposting Britain First nonsense among other things .

    Not sure yoga pants suit me anyway.

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    1. Yes, it's not like they made the settings easy to understand. Anyone would think they had a vested interest. :-)

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