Saturday, October 27, 2012

"You know my hips don't lie,
And I'm starting to feel it's right"


A bit of a late post from me, but it's been one of those strangely busy evenings. I clearly remember coming home before six and then after that, it was all a bit of a blur. I guess a part of the evening has gone due to the fact that I've been setting up a new computer - well, new to me. This one, despite being four years old, is a  quieter and a lot faster than the other cobbled together unit I had. Sometimes, it's the little things. Plus, that's a few hundred quit that I don't need to spend. I'm not a fan of buying gadgets when I can repair / hack something together to meet my requirements. Money saved means good news considering we've started the Xmas shopping already. What about you? Oh and I don't mean looking for that perfect Little Black Dress either ;-)

Gifts Galore

Talking of spending, this week I finally got around to spending some of my birthday money from last month. I bought a top from New Look (no photo yet), a floral pattern bodycon dress (see right) and a jumper dress. The latter two both from Very and after picking them up, I headed home (as it was half-term) to have some lunch at Chez Jones. Unfortunately, my cooking skills are clearly not quite up to par and a few hours later, I was feeling less that 100%.... more like curl-up-and-hide-and-want-it-all-to-stop-kinda percent. Yup, I'd given myself food poisoning. Duh.

Luckily for me, the Ever Lovely Mrs J is a most wonderful nurse and was very kind in ensuring I could rest up. She also kept away during some of the "incidents" and that's as much as I'm going to say about those. Well, other than the comment "I don't think I've seen you that colour of green before". :-) So, bad times and time of work, but upside? I lost a bit of weight and as I'd got time booked off for the following two days, I was eased back into the world of the living nice and gradually. I guess I was proper poorly; considering my two dresses remained packaged up until Thursday.

Mrs J and I had a lovely chat about clothes and the whole trans situation. We'd been looking at winter boots together and we chatted about what I'd bought from Very. It means an awful lot to me that we can share such activities. It really does make my day.... and yes, I did tell her that too. ;-)

Out & About

With two days off to look after Little Miss and Wee Man, I was ready for a night out. Hmm, reading that back sounds awful! That's not quite what I meant! :-) What I meant, was after two days of Dad Duties - y'know, fixing Lego, de-tangling Barbie's hair, putting Teddy's shoes on for the sixth time, etc - the idea of a night out where I could let my hair down (so to speak), was very attractive. Plus. I'd got some outfits to try on. What more could a t-girl ask for? ;-)

With an early pass out of the door, I headed upstairs to get changed. I bumped into Sam - not Sam H - and we had a chat about various things. She was kind enough to give her opinion on the new clothes I'd got and we both decided the floral dress, while fab, wasn't quite right. Maybe if I shifted a few more pounds, but hey, I'm not falling into the trap of keeping clothes I'll slim into.

So, sweater dress it was (see right - and thanks to Soph for taking the snap) and it's the first one I've had like that. It was certainly cosy, although later in the evening, I switched to leggings as I felt a little self conscious when I crossed my legs. Okay, it wasn't short-short, but you know how hemlines ride up when you fidget. :-)

After catching up with folk at Chams, Sophie and I headed off to catch up with Sam and Rachel at the pub. It would mean a late night, but with Tanya on her way too, it seemed rude not too. I did delay matters - well, Sophie, actually - as I stopped on the way. There was a young lady waiting on her own not far from the centre. Now, I'm not 100% sure why I stopped, but I did. I guess it was to make sure she was okay. Luckily someone was coming to collect her and she'd just hung up her mobile as I pulled alongside. Hopefully I didn't frighten her at all.... as much as a 40 something guy dressed like a woman might. I do recall making a joke of "I thought I'd offer you a lift if you were stuck.... not that I'm a murderer or a weirdo." She laughed and my mouth ran off with "Well, I am a weirdo, but not that type. I better be going." (Ed: stop talking Lynn and drive on. There's a love :-P )

The pub is slightly different to Chameleons, in that there's often Karaoke on and it's a different crowd there too (in a nice way). Tanya and I played up to our Scots' roots with a rendition of 500 Miles by The Proclaimers. We had a lot of fun with it, but. I think the audience merely endured and then joined in. ;-)

DIY Curves

Sam was curious about how I managed to get my figure to work. Well, that and kind to enough to say I had a nice figure too. Yes, I did manage to say thanks. I don't own a corset, but I'd like to. What I do have a control top, home made hip pads and padded briefs to help. Cue then a discussion about how tricky it is and the honest truth is that it isn't.

(1) Raw materials.
I've used two pieces of medium foam - about the same depth as your thumb is thick - to make two shapes. I got mind from a padded parcel box, but I guess you could buy some if you prefer. :-) Then I put a pair of regular shoulder pads on top to round them off. If you're good with a needle and thread, you could sew them together. Personally, I just slip mine under my tights, although for summer / with trousers, I've used a trimmed down pair of flesh coloured fishnets to hold them in place.

(1) On the left, are your raw materials. Four regular shoulder pads and some parcel foam I've trimmed into shape. I went with some about the thickness of my finger, although I guess you'll want to vary that depending on your own figure.

(2) Trim to size
(2) The next step is to trim the foam. I've put a CD on top of the shape I've cut to give you an idea of sizing. I'm just over six foot and a UK size 16. I guess you'd need to lengthen / shorten / widen the shape for yourself. One thing I will add, start over-size and cut down. I did mine through trial and error, basically by trimming a bit off and then testing under tights and leggings. If you know of a better way, please do let me know.
(3) Final shape

(3) This is the finished article - well, so to speak. All this image shows is how I've positioned the two shoulder pads on top of the underlying long shape. You may find you prefer to use extra thick shoulder pads, or if you're lithe, just the long shape. It's really up to you. I can only write about what's worked for me and we're all different.

At only a few quid, it's a fairly easy way to give yourself some shape and based on what other t-folk have said about the professional hip pads, easier to move in too. I have seen a couple of YouTube videos on the subject. There's a great one from a drag queen, although she's way more creative than I am. I guess it's my IT it-works-it'll-do mentality coming to the fore. ;-)

Take care,
Lynn "No more eggs for me" Jones

[ Today's lyric: Hips Don't Lie by Shakira ]

Friday, October 19, 2012

Madness takes its toll.
But listen closely...
Not for very much longer.
I've got to keep control.


When the river runs wild, there are a few choices: Stand tall and brave the rage of the waves. Brace against the worst and hope your feet are not pulled from under you. You can let go, follow the flow and try keep your head up. Or you can let it wash over you and pray for the end.... although I wouldn't recommend the latter.

I don't know why I'm writing the above, but I thought it sounded nice. Maybe there's something rattling around my subconscious at the mo. Whatever it is, it's not coming to the fore. Anyhoo, the above was kicked off when I looked at my desktop's wallpaper. Funny how inspiration strikes you. I mean earlier on, on the drive home, I was feeling tired and in terms of creativity, pretty much feeling flat broke at the ideas bank.... to torture a metaphor or two.

Talking of creativity, this week, the BBC ran a news story about the link between mental illness and creativity. That old addage about genius and madness I guess.

Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance.
Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

So perhaps the occasional dance with the nut fairy (no, not nuts as in your know what. Honestly :-) ) or rare visit from the Black Dog are not - dare I say this - always bad news. Perhaps the over-thinking - which I've heard can trip depression - can be useful from a writing point of view. I know my imagination has always been a bit over-active, but if / when I can channel it appropriately, it has lead me along some interesting (at least to me) avenues. well, at least from a writing pointing of view (short stories, not blogging I should add). Despite being generally academically lacking during my school years, I find I now enjoy writing for myself. Even blogging to a large extent. I mean, it's not like I get paid to prattle away each week.... and given the general quality of the posts, perhaps it's a good thing that I don't make my living this way ;-)

What about you, dear reader? I'll pass on the blogging bug seeing as you're here, but what about from a creative point of view? Do you harbour any talents, hidden or otherwise?

Righto. I'm off for a nice long soak in the bath... but please, don't imagine that. It'll just give you nightmares. :-)

Oh, as I re-read this just before hitting the Publish button, I wonder if there's another choice when stuck in the torrent: pull together and help each other. There's a thought.


[ Today's lyric : The TimeWarp from Harry Potter and the Unexpected But Utterly Fabulous Crossover with The Rock Horror Picture Show ]

Friday, October 12, 2012

"When the good comes to bad the bad comes to good,
But I'm a live my life like I should..."


I was tempted to say 'yo', but I just can't bring myself for fear that the irony would be missed :-)

Wednesday and Thursday were very much a chore for some reason. I think it may be because I'd reached the end of catching up on a favourite television series (On-line viewing rules - doubly so with ad-blockers :-D ) and that work was really dragging. So, I plodded home - as much as one can when driving - through the traffic and after dealing with the nippers, headed off to Chams.

I was not in the best of moods when I arrived because I felt short on time. On the upside, when I got back, the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones said she was grateful for me staying later to help with the nippers. So, not all bad news then. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not very good at getting ready quickly. It takes me a while and chuck in the chance for a natter (with Maddy and Alison), and that adds a few more minutes to the clock. I think I got in around 8.30 and I was downstairs just after 9.20 or so..... quick for yours truly. ;-) I think I'd been chatting to Maddy and Sophie for about 15 mins and then we headed off to the pub to catch up with Sam (who, bless her, was waiting on her tod and it's bad form to leave a friend hanging too long).

Turns out, the visit out was just what I needed. A good long chat with friends and a little bit of Karaoke with Maddy (Beastie Boys FTW!) for comedy value. The New Foresters is such a lovely venue; really relaxed and it has such a lovely, welcoming vibe to it. After much chatting, I left a little after half twelve - although we all had to run (in heels, mais oui) under a collection of umbrellas due to the monsoon-like downpour outside. Still, the British weather is nothing if not varied. ;-)

Although I was late to bed, I slept well and I feel much more with it today. In the past, 've heard in the phrase Tranny Heroin being banded about. Not to be Master of the Obvious, it's clearly about addiction and your next 'high' (Ed; don't talk down to the punters, dear). I was pondering this as I drove home. Is it about taking the next ratchet up.... (Ed: it goes all the way to twelve, by the way. Two more than ten :-P ) .... or is it more a case of your boundaries dropping and you making the outside match with the inside? There's a thought.

I can and do socialise in Richard mode. I don't need to be all - for want of a better phrase - femmed up to have a good time. However, if through whatever reason, I am unable to indulge in what I guess you could call semi-regular dressing up; so my mood takes a turn for the worse and I'm not a happy bunny. That said, there are a few bad times, mostly average times and a number of good times. When the latter comes along, everything is easier.

I guess the last bit about averages and good stuff was echoed in a comment by Tanya as we talked about clothes. If I buy regular clothes - jeans, t-shirts, bloke stuff, etc - then the most I get is "yeah, that's nice. I'll buy that." However, if I buy a nice dress or such-like, there is more of a positive affirmation. I feel emotionally better - if that makes sense. Also, I feel pretty - regardless of the very obvious truth :-D Perhaps I'm heading full circle on the T-drug line? ;-) Then again, I'm not trying everything on in Dotty P's. I'd like to think I've just about got the balance right.

We also talked about fashion and the split between what you like and what suits you. I know Tanya has changed her look in recent months - not that she looked bad before, she's just a different kind of good. :-) I know I'm a little lost with the current trend of high necked, cap sleeved dresses. They're not really me, even though I've seen many ladies rocking that trend. I guess, as Maddy pointed out, that I need a lower neck line to help balance me out. Funny, in a way, the idea of going against a trend because it doesn't suit you. Fashion eh? :-) Equally, Maddy was saying that while she likes certain looks, she feels she can't do them because they don't suit her. Men and lady's clothes eh? What a mix ;-)

In other news, I've switched razors - yeah, that's just how rock & roll my lifestyle is. I'd been reading a document on-line (Ed: you mean a web page?) that had been singing the praises of your traditional safety razor versus the multi-blade mortgage-o-rama blades you can buy. In the main, it's worked. You do have to give your face a good going over with a hot flannel (yay for Clinique face scrub for men!) and use a good well lubricated shaving gel... *and* you have to take your time, but I felt less razor burn and I've had less skin irritation since switching last month. Heh, male grooming advice from a t-girl? Whatever next? ;-)

On that cheery note, TTFN

[ Today's lyric: Take a Look Around by Limp Bizkit ]

Friday, October 05, 2012

"I've got no enthusiasm,
for burgers or computers"

Hello one and all,

I shall be glad when this week is little but a memory. Not that it has been awful or scary, just one very long slog. It all started last week when my work computer - that's at home - went pop. Yes, it's an odd arrangement, in that the old kit that's not recycled / broken up, ends up being used by employees for working remotely. Of course, the trouble with old equipment - regardless of brand - is that it can be a bit temperamental.... with emphasis on the temper and mental.

I'll try and keep the tale of IT Woe short. Let's just say that I spent most evenings this week trying to get various bits of old PC, Mac and goodness-knows-what equipment to work together. The only bit of the lash up I'm happy with is my fairly modern monitor and a well used Dell keyboard which Noah handed me as he upgraded to a tablet (or Fondle-slab as a certain IT press site refers to them :-P ). I may work in IT, but it's not a hobby nor a passion of mine, it's a job..... and it's only a job 'cos I was sh** at everything else at school. (Ed: if only there'd been fashion design at the all boys school, eh? You big Mary. :-P )

So, with work not being very forthcoming on the hardware front, I've looked at buying a new computer. Aren't they expensive! :-) Yes, I do work in IT, but rarely do I have to worry about the Real World of money. I have a system to build and a budget to deliver it with. Not exactly telephone number figures, but certainly enough to make the Tax Man go all weak at the knees. Sadly, I can't spend it on fabulous shoes, but you can't have it all.

"Jones. Where's the new HA cluster for the customer?"

"I've cut it to two nodes, boss.... and I spent the rest of these faaaabulous heels."

"Excellent work! Do they come in a ten, BTW? My...uhhh... cousin... has large feet... for a lady."

Maybe not. :-)

In other news, the seemingly endless slog of Making Stuff Work was tiring me out and as I took the dog out for a walk, it all began to get a bit much..... and then, oddly it wasn't. In the past, I guess I was looking at the  problem and then worrying about failing to get stuff done, then extrapolating what could happen. I believe the technical term is Catastrophising.

Yet, as my mind tipped towards that old pattern, a little bit of me put the brakes on with: "it'll be fixed one day. You're not skint and none of those worries have really happened. They're just worries. Don't sweat it." With that, it was almost as if I'd tied the concerns to a little dark balloon of worry and just let go of the string. Off the worries went, high into the sky to be warmed by the lovely autumn sunshine.

As Mr Dury once sang: reasons to be cheerful. That and I did spend an enjoyable evening looking at some of the A/W fashions. This time around, no guilt or pink fog, just a warm fuzzy feeling of 'ooo, that's sooo nice!'. Top that off with the Ever Lovely Mrs J wanting fashion advice for a work look (no, I'm not sure why she asks me either, as she dresses well), but you help out where you can. Not that I didn't love every moment. ;-)

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Glam Rock Cops by Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine ]