Friday, November 28, 2008

"What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again"

Hey there,

Sometimes the Muse hits you. I was listening to Dakota by the Stereophonics and reading the lyrics at the same time. It's a little pleasure I enjoy. I don't get every word and I like to know what a vocal is. Songs affect me; not so much mood, although that happens, but more often as stimulation or even creativity. A lyric or even just a 'vibe' is all I need to hear and on occasion my mind picks up the idea and runs with it.

The title for today's post contains the lyric (as ever) and on hearing it I drifted off into a little world in my head. I've been going to Chameleons for some time and while we have - to coin a phrase - the usual suspects, there are also lots of people who appear infrequently or just as one offs.

Part of me wishes that we had one of those old instant cameras and a photo album to keep a snap of everyone who walked through the doors. Of course, that wouldn't really be fair would it. Going out for the first time can be pretty nerve wracking and you don't want someone in your face wanting to take a snap.

But that issue aside, Chameleons has been running for a long time - 25 years I think - and there's been a lot of people (and fashions) come and go. Part of me wishes that we could in some way capture this tiny portion of history. Like other subcultures: we're the folk under radar. It's stuff that doesn't happen in the Big Picture, but we are there nonetheless and attendance is no doubt linked to changes in society (public acceptance) and our affect on society (going out / full time).

In other news, the earlier line "Children grown having some laughs" hit home too. Little Miss is now a whole year old. My, she's grown to be a cute little thing. Being a dad rocks.

Take care

[ Today's lyric: Dakota by the Stereophonics ]

Friday, November 21, 2008

"Sugar and spice and everything nice,
Wasn't meant for only girls"


Earlier this week I found myself surfing through the links on the RSS feed. Some links seemed to be dead and after a quick reccy, I found and fixed the dead ones. If I've not been your way for a bit, that's why!

On a whim, I decided to have a good look through the news section on the Angels web site. While there two things caught my eye.

One is the image in the Smoother Transition article (go and have a read if you like). The (drawn) image is of a keyboard and a pair of hands typing. The left hand is suitably macho with the grey suit jacket while the right hand sports longish polished red nails and a white bracelet. I don't know what it is about that particular image, but it held my attention. Maybe it's the thought of the inner tranny being on display or just being in on the joke. Who can say?

BTW, you'll note I didn't say 'female': or maybe you did, I'm not psychic. :-) I don't know many, nay *any* women, who wear there nails like that. Actually, I did know one young lady who sported a full set of Krugers and she didn't half struggle to type. She must have gone through a shed load of tights too. Not that I'd know anything about that. :-)

[ side note: I had one of those conversations this week. One lady from the office was talking about shoes and how she was being nagged by her husband for buying yet another pair. "But you have to have some that go with an outfit don't you! How many pairs do you have?" she asked. I managed to stop myself from nodding in agreement.... and it seems most guys have 2 - 4 pairs. So I'm not abnormal :-) I just have a few other pairs for special occasions :-D ]

The second thing - and there seems to be an 'image' theme this week - is I noticed the Angel Flickr stream and I decided to have a look. I found the whole stream - well, not all of it, I didn't go A to Z! - very interesting. Firstly, there's the variation in looks that we try: natural, foxy, out & about, etc. Then there's the backgrounds. The day-to-day scenery: kitchens, stairs, living rooms, pubs or public spaces. For a group of people who often seem so keen to stay hidden, there's a remarkable amount of stuff on the web. Not that I'm judging, there's the odd snap of me on here (Ed: "odd" being the word).

I also find myself wondering what people look like behind the carefully applied make-up and wig. To push on from that, there are a few brave souls who'll do a before and after. The difference is quite surprising. I don't think I'm quite ready for that just yet. :-)

In slightly less jolly news: yesterday was the TG Day of Remembrance. A day to remember those people who are no longer with us.

[ Daphs, the place isn't the same without you. ]

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: King for a Day by Green Day ]

Friday, November 14, 2008

"Any means necessary for survival..."

Hey ppl,

This week's been a bit up and down. No, don't worry, not down in a scary way :-)

Life eh?

Two things upset me this week: firstly there was the news of Baby P being killed by his parents. Lightning strikes twice in the local Social Services who missed a similar case a year or so ago. It's easy to criticise when you're not 'in the system' though. It's not easy being a parent sometimes, but there's a massive difference between losing your rag and yelling at them against the systematic physical abuse that poor kid suffered.

I've mentioned anger in previous posts and this incident was no different. I could feel it building up in me, rising up with nowhere to go. Ah, the pointless insanity of it all eh? :-) Maybe it was the injustice of the episode; that someone could be repeatedly cruel to such a young child. I wanted to do something. To somehow make it right again, but you can't can you. You can't reach back in time and stop it. Still, it's Children in Need this evening, so while I won't be making a massive difference to that wee soul's life, I hope that what I give helps someone else.

(BTW, for those of you outside the UK, Children in Need is an annual charity event run by the BBC. All in a good cause. Oh, and it's surprising to see the number of *ahem* non-trannys dragged up in the name of a good cause. Non-trannys? Yeah, right. You're fooling no-one! :-D ).

The other thing was the report on Remembrance Day and the horrors of war. It seemed to merge with the above. On one hand, the horrible, senseless loss of life as we slugged it out across the trenches. On the other? What if we hadn't have gone to war? We could have sat back and let the enemy of the time expand as they wished. In my head - not the sanest of places - that seems to gel with Social Services. (Ed: what the f***?)

Let me explain: sometimes you can't help. All you can do is step in and destroy. I'm not saying that taking a child away from their parents is like the Somme, but that there's a cost to the action or inaction. Do it: save the victim but destroy the family. Don't do it: and risk victims. As with most things in life, it's never black and white is it.

Cheery thoughts eh? Okay, let's talk about trannying shall we? :-)


Thursday evening got off to a slow start. There was a long tailback due to roadworks and I arrived a little late at Chameleons. When I finally got in there was.... ummm... no-one there. One of the karate crew (who share the venue until 7.30) popped in to ask if we were still on and if not, could they lock up. Luckily I was still in Bob mode, so I didn't scare her :-) For a mo I wondered if I'd got the wrong night, but then Jane turned up and we were back on. Yay!

With Jane's help, the teas & coffees was set up but we had no milk. Ooops. Two new folk arrived, so I left them in the care of Jane and set off to get the milk. When I got back - luckily the traffic had died down a bit - the place was packed!

For a fleeting moment, I considered not getting changed, but nah, I guess I'm 'T' through and through, so off I went. Boots + skinny jeans and a slightly too-short black dress over the top. It didn't look too short in the shop, but once you sit down, it's more of a long top :-)

I had a good long chat with the new girls (ladies?) about why they decided to come along and how they were getting on. Y'know, life and sh** :-) One lady was out after telling the wife she'd be out with a mate (technically true) because her wife doesn't know (haven't we all been there?).

That brings me back to today's lyric and while I'm pretty sure it's not what Malcolm X really meant, but it rings true for some of us tranny folk. You do what you do to stay sane. Does that sound a bit over the top? Perhaps, but the urge to dress up, if only to spend an hour here to there, is very strong. To deny yourself - and I think a lot of us have been there - is generally 'bad news'. Moods, anger, depression etc. Must be like living with a bad teenager. :-)

So I find it better to indulge rather than to deny and I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't have to hide away so much and I've more tranny freedom than I ever thought I would. Sure, the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones has never seen me in 'Lynn mode' and to be honest with you, I'm happy with that. I think it would change things between us and I don't want that. Would I say no if she asked? Mmm, well there's a question!

Blimey, ending on a cheery note? There's a turn! Have a good weekend... unless you're working it, in which case I hope it goes quickly and your proper days off are kind to you. :-D

Take care

[ Today's lyric: The Blade by Front Line Assembly ]

Friday, November 07, 2008

"I can see it in my own reflection,
Something funny's goin' on inside my mind..."

Hey y'all.

How's you? Good I hope. Me? Well, pretty good: certainly nothing to complain about... which is nice! :)

A few things have been on my mind of late. One is - or rather 'was' - the American Election. As a rule I don't tend to talk about Real Life (tm) on here. There are others who do it better than I and do you really want to hear my take on who'd make the better leader? I doubt it, 'cos I sure wouldn't :) Besides, we're trannys: are we just supposed to talk about make-up? :D Back to the point though, politics seem hardwired into people, at least in my limited experience. Seems we make up our minds on who we'd like to represent us and that's that.

So what I will say is this: people talk about Obama's victory as a historic event. From a race point of view, it is. He's the first after all. My hopes are these: one, that the American War Machine is brought back for worst case scenarios (carpet bombing and democracy seem unlikely allies); and secondly, that he manages to make a positive difference to the world. I don't know what or how, but the history we're wrapping this man in, is building him up. I suppose a few people will be hoping he stumbles. Personally, I'm hoping he does well.

The other thing, and this seems rather low brow following talk about a new American President, is my rear view mirror. It's a novelty for an ex-biker, just stay with me :) I've had this canter of words rattling around my head since Monday. I'd blame it on eating too much cheese, but I've cut back (a tranny's got to try and keep their figure :D ).

Rear view mirror, what is it you see?
Traffic that races? A slice; a cut out of me?

The tip of an ear, the side of my head.
Unshaven jaw, eyes tired or red.

In earlier times, the view is not this.
Dark painted eyes, red lips you can't miss.

An unhealthy fixation on the view from within,
Or just fragments or memory: no her but a him?

Seems the car's little mirror is there to remind,
What races up and what's gone on behind.

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Yet more from Girls Aloud, this time: Sound of the Underground. I wonder if they know they have such a tranny following? :) ]

Sunday, November 02, 2008

"Yesterday was easy,
Happiness came and went."

Hi folks,

This Saturday I had the good fortune to attend the Harmony event up in a big old hotel near Matlock. Despite having a fair bit of time to get ready, the journey up there took longer than expected. But, the Fates smiled and I did arrive with enough time to park up, pick what I wanted from the menu and get a drink in with the usual suspects. :)

How can I describe the event? I think it would have to be: interesting. One the one hand, I had a great time talking to friends, enjoying the meal and, of course, being a disco fiend, the dance that followed.

So why 'interesting' and not 'fabulous'? Well, truth be told and no disrespect to the organisers, I don't think Harmony was 'me'. Do you find you go to a film, a club or a venue and find that you don't quite click? The thing is good, but there's a little something missing. I mean, I've had some killer nights out just dancing the night away at Chams, murdering pop songs at tranny Karaoke or just having a good chin-wag with friends.

I think it's because I'm one of the lucky ones. I get to go out fairly regularly and visit a great bunch of people (four of which were also at the do: Sandy, two Tinas and Anna-Lou). I don't need to bottle myself away for a weekend once a year in a place far, far from home. So maybe I'm spoilt and it's that that's colouring my perceptions. :)

But that's not the whole truth if I'm honest... and I feel a bit bad about saying this, but the beauty pageant thing they did after the meal felt rather odd. I think there must have been a good hour between the meal finishing and 'the tour' starting up. I was asked if I'd like to judge the entrants and I politely said no. It's not my thing. I don't like competitions like that. It's kinda like you're going to point your finger at the people who don't win and say "you're sh**". Perhaps that's why I'm not a fan of talent shows that pepper the television schedules.

As I was saying to Rebbecca, and her to me for that matter, we're all just blokes in frocks at the end of the day. Sure, we may be able to look well presented or stylish on occasion, but 99% are not going to look female. Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick, but to run a competition for the best dressed or prettiest etc, well, it feels - what's the word? Unnecessary? Maybe, but 'antiquated' feels closer to what I'm fumbling for. Anyway, they'll be a video on YouTube later in the week, so you can make up your own mind if you want :)

Other than that intrusion, the evening went well and I had a good time. I just wished they'd run the pageant in another room and just let the folk who were interested in seeing it go. After all, those same folk may not have been interested in being subjected to the Scissor Sisters at full volume. :)

I guess you can please some of the people some of the time and all that. :-D

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: America by Razorlight ]