Friday, December 19, 2008

"Let's go round and round and round and round and r-o-u-nd"

Hey folks,

I've been pondering a clean up of the blog roll. Not so much a cull, although it feels a bit like that, but to take out the links to blogs that aren't being updated or I'm just not reading. There is only so much time in the day. It feels a bit like a snub, which is not what I intend, so that's put me off a bit. No doubt I'll rev up to it later in the month.

The whole 'quiet blog' thing got me thinking. I was going to ask: what keeps people blogging? But there's another side to that and that is: why do folk give up? Is it that it doesn't reward them in some way? Now, by reward, I mean emotional reward. I don't mean hit rate or comments but the act of feeling like you've done something. Could it be time? After all, is this a worthy investment of ones personal time? Do you have better things to do than empty your head on topics that have already been discussed? Maybe the blog acts as a record of a journey and once that's done, so the blog can be closed. Does fear come into it? What if you're spotted by someone? Gasp! Sure, the Internet is a big place but it's not *that* big. Maybe it's as the late Mr Williams supposedly said: "there's the element of the confessional." Maybes, but I'm not seeking forgiveness. If anything - and if I'm really, really honest - acceptance. That I think is most people want. But, hey, I could be wrong. ;-)

The truth of it is that I don't know for sure and can only speculate. I'm a curious person (Ed: a nice way of saying 'nosey cow') and I enjoy reading what other people have to say. When people stop writing, I do wonder where that takes them. What are they doing now?

Personally, my weekly output doesn't feel like a chore, more an indulgence. A bit of time to sit back and write about the good stuff that's happened. Equally, when I've felt a bit 'out of it' this blog has helped me. Perhaps more accurately, talking - if we can call this written medium that - about the issue du jour has helped. There's also the feedback I get. I get to hear people's experiences and a breadcrumb trail back to their blog.... to read what they want to talk about.

So that's me done for another action packed episode (Ed: ooo, the sarcasm). All I that remains is for me to wish you a very merry Christmas!

Take care

[ Today's lyric: Round Round by The Sugababes. ]

Friday, December 12, 2008

"All you need is some friends,
Won't be by yourself..."

Hey peeps,

Crikey the week's gone fast; almost faster than a politician's election promise. Christmas shopping. Christmas concerts and, of course, Christmas parties. My belly's full, my waist line is slowly expanding and my feet are tender. Not that I'd like it any other way. Let the good times roll! :-)

We, the Jones family, are in the chaos that is the Xmas party season. Still, nice to be popular though eh? I had the work do at the start of the week, the Chams do Thursday and we're off tonight for drinks and nibbles at a friend's house. I think we get Saturday off for good behaviour.

The Good

The do at Nottingham Chameleons was, if I may say so, very good indeed. I arrived earlier than usual with the hope of lending a hand, but when I got in most of it was done! The tables were out and decorated, the food table was already groaning, the cooker was blasting out tasty smells and the music centre was lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree.

So... a quick (!!) change upstairs and I was back in the thick of it. The group had suggested a Mama Mia / Abba theme for the night, so it wasn't the usual array of party frocks :-) After much running around town, I did manage to lay my hands on some white leggings (chactastic :-D ), so it was on with a long floaty blue top, white leggings, flower in my hair and knee boots for a TG tribute to Abba. Take a chance? Go on then :-)

BTW, I can thoroughly recommend Rimmel's fasting drying '60 Second' nail varnish. A quick neutral base coat to prep and then on with the colour. You have to be quick mind, but it does dry nicely. Also, Nailene do a varnish remover in a pot: just stick your finger in the tub, give it a spin and it's gone.... UK readers may wish to say "Bang! and it's gone" :-)

I brought a couple of items for the raffle and the winners seemed suitably chuffed. How much will be kept or re-gifted I can't say, but the group's coffers certainly did well out of it. After the food and the raffle, we cranked the music up and had a bit of a dance. The Abba mix seemed to go okay and I think mixing the tracks together will have to be the done thing from now one. I wonder if I can get my MP3 player to link with the stereo? Then again, Nine Inch Nails isn't that festive is it. :-)

The Bad

At Chams we get a fair flow of new people. Some become regulars, some occasional and some folk are once in a blue moon. Anyways, a husband and wife turned up to the Christmas do and Tracey went off to do the meetin' 'n greetin'. As she pointed out, both looked very nervous which is totally understandably. It's a hell of a jump for most people - perhaps doubly so for partners. What is this crazy world they've landed in?

A little while later I popped into the loo to reapply my lip gloss. I wasn't alone, I could hear quiet conversation and there was definitely gentle crying. I felt really bad for both of them. Partly through trespassing if you like (Ed: but not enough to not blog about it eh?) but also because I didn't want them to be afraid. I asked if everything was okay and I got a yes and then I left them to it. They didn't join the rest of us and I wish they had. I hope things work out for them, I really do.

Yes, finding your partner is TG is a shock, but there are wives at Chams who've been through that. Chams isn't just about dressing up and dancing about like a loon - it's about looking after each other.

A note of thanks

I don't know how many of you follow some of the links from the blogroll. Anyways, Vanessa recently asked for some positive TG stories from real life. Rather than leave her hanging, I dropped her a line and she was kind enough to make that available on her blog. If you've got a story you'd like to share with her and us - anonymously or otherwise - please visit her blog.

Take care

[ Today's lyric: Round Round by the Sugababes ]

Friday, December 05, 2008

"Can you feel it, see it, hear it today?
If you can't, then it doesn't matter anyway"

Howdy partners,


There are some days when the urge to write, or perhaps more accurately - to blog, are very strong. Equally, there are other times when your mind is empty; empty of the desire to get something off your chest. That may be a point of view, a confession or on occasion, a rant. This week has been a quiet week. I don't like drama, so life is good. May we all live in quiet times. :-)

So, on with the braindump :-)

Other stuff

The other day I was reading through Jo's Blog... which lead me to Diary of a Hope Fiend... which lead me to the Gender Analyser site. It's one of those word analyser thingies that let you pop a URL in and it goes away to tell you the gender of the person who's writing the web site.

Of course I put this in. :-) I am a blogger and blogs are all me-me-me right? :-) I can thing of the following reasons for the result:

1. The code's off a bit :-)
2. Somehow I'm screening my 'male' language.*
3. It's the comments that tipped the balance.

( * True 'cos my other site came up 95% bloke. Maybes trannys are only 1/3 male! That would explain why we can accessorize, walk in heels and still undo the lids of jars :-D ).

Anyway, it's not a p*ssing contest, just for fun:

We think is written by a woman (67%).

Our survey said? Eek-errrkkk! :-) If I was feeling particular macho (Ed: or a film nerd) I could have said: "Errk! Wrong answer Hans!" :-) A polite hand clap to the first person who can name the film.

Rats. Film quotes *and* music lyrics. My name is Lynn Jones and I am a wordaholic. :-)

Obligatory Tranny Stuff

Next week it's the Christmas Party for Nottingham Chameleons. This year has a theme. Quite possibly the wine was flowing rather well at the time suggestions were being made. We are, apparently, going for an Abba theme. While I couldn't get hold of a powder blue jump suit, my outfit is sorted.

I am, again, providing the tunes for the evening. I'm no DJ that's for sure although hopefully the home-brew Abba megamix will keep us on our toes when it's time to cut some rug.

Cult Stuff

For a wheeze I added Followers to my Blogger apps. I guess it's a bit more than the blogroll thingy that most of us do. But there's something that freaks me out a bit. It's the term follower... It makes me feel like some cult leader or something.

Now got into the world my friends.... and do nice things.... and look glamorous!


Take care

[ Today's lyric: Epic by Faith No More ]

Friday, November 28, 2008

"What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again"

Hey there,

Sometimes the Muse hits you. I was listening to Dakota by the Stereophonics and reading the lyrics at the same time. It's a little pleasure I enjoy. I don't get every word and I like to know what a vocal is. Songs affect me; not so much mood, although that happens, but more often as stimulation or even creativity. A lyric or even just a 'vibe' is all I need to hear and on occasion my mind picks up the idea and runs with it.

The title for today's post contains the lyric (as ever) and on hearing it I drifted off into a little world in my head. I've been going to Chameleons for some time and while we have - to coin a phrase - the usual suspects, there are also lots of people who appear infrequently or just as one offs.

Part of me wishes that we had one of those old instant cameras and a photo album to keep a snap of everyone who walked through the doors. Of course, that wouldn't really be fair would it. Going out for the first time can be pretty nerve wracking and you don't want someone in your face wanting to take a snap.

But that issue aside, Chameleons has been running for a long time - 25 years I think - and there's been a lot of people (and fashions) come and go. Part of me wishes that we could in some way capture this tiny portion of history. Like other subcultures: we're the folk under radar. It's stuff that doesn't happen in the Big Picture, but we are there nonetheless and attendance is no doubt linked to changes in society (public acceptance) and our affect on society (going out / full time).

In other news, the earlier line "Children grown having some laughs" hit home too. Little Miss is now a whole year old. My, she's grown to be a cute little thing. Being a dad rocks.

Take care

[ Today's lyric: Dakota by the Stereophonics ]

Friday, November 21, 2008

"Sugar and spice and everything nice,
Wasn't meant for only girls"


Earlier this week I found myself surfing through the links on the RSS feed. Some links seemed to be dead and after a quick reccy, I found and fixed the dead ones. If I've not been your way for a bit, that's why!

On a whim, I decided to have a good look through the news section on the Angels web site. While there two things caught my eye.

One is the image in the Smoother Transition article (go and have a read if you like). The (drawn) image is of a keyboard and a pair of hands typing. The left hand is suitably macho with the grey suit jacket while the right hand sports longish polished red nails and a white bracelet. I don't know what it is about that particular image, but it held my attention. Maybe it's the thought of the inner tranny being on display or just being in on the joke. Who can say?

BTW, you'll note I didn't say 'female': or maybe you did, I'm not psychic. :-) I don't know many, nay *any* women, who wear there nails like that. Actually, I did know one young lady who sported a full set of Krugers and she didn't half struggle to type. She must have gone through a shed load of tights too. Not that I'd know anything about that. :-)

[ side note: I had one of those conversations this week. One lady from the office was talking about shoes and how she was being nagged by her husband for buying yet another pair. "But you have to have some that go with an outfit don't you! How many pairs do you have?" she asked. I managed to stop myself from nodding in agreement.... and it seems most guys have 2 - 4 pairs. So I'm not abnormal :-) I just have a few other pairs for special occasions :-D ]

The second thing - and there seems to be an 'image' theme this week - is I noticed the Angel Flickr stream and I decided to have a look. I found the whole stream - well, not all of it, I didn't go A to Z! - very interesting. Firstly, there's the variation in looks that we try: natural, foxy, out & about, etc. Then there's the backgrounds. The day-to-day scenery: kitchens, stairs, living rooms, pubs or public spaces. For a group of people who often seem so keen to stay hidden, there's a remarkable amount of stuff on the web. Not that I'm judging, there's the odd snap of me on here (Ed: "odd" being the word).

I also find myself wondering what people look like behind the carefully applied make-up and wig. To push on from that, there are a few brave souls who'll do a before and after. The difference is quite surprising. I don't think I'm quite ready for that just yet. :-)

In slightly less jolly news: yesterday was the TG Day of Remembrance. A day to remember those people who are no longer with us.

[ Daphs, the place isn't the same without you. ]

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: King for a Day by Green Day ]

Friday, November 14, 2008

"Any means necessary for survival..."

Hey ppl,

This week's been a bit up and down. No, don't worry, not down in a scary way :-)

Life eh?

Two things upset me this week: firstly there was the news of Baby P being killed by his parents. Lightning strikes twice in the local Social Services who missed a similar case a year or so ago. It's easy to criticise when you're not 'in the system' though. It's not easy being a parent sometimes, but there's a massive difference between losing your rag and yelling at them against the systematic physical abuse that poor kid suffered.

I've mentioned anger in previous posts and this incident was no different. I could feel it building up in me, rising up with nowhere to go. Ah, the pointless insanity of it all eh? :-) Maybe it was the injustice of the episode; that someone could be repeatedly cruel to such a young child. I wanted to do something. To somehow make it right again, but you can't can you. You can't reach back in time and stop it. Still, it's Children in Need this evening, so while I won't be making a massive difference to that wee soul's life, I hope that what I give helps someone else.

(BTW, for those of you outside the UK, Children in Need is an annual charity event run by the BBC. All in a good cause. Oh, and it's surprising to see the number of *ahem* non-trannys dragged up in the name of a good cause. Non-trannys? Yeah, right. You're fooling no-one! :-D ).

The other thing was the report on Remembrance Day and the horrors of war. It seemed to merge with the above. On one hand, the horrible, senseless loss of life as we slugged it out across the trenches. On the other? What if we hadn't have gone to war? We could have sat back and let the enemy of the time expand as they wished. In my head - not the sanest of places - that seems to gel with Social Services. (Ed: what the f***?)

Let me explain: sometimes you can't help. All you can do is step in and destroy. I'm not saying that taking a child away from their parents is like the Somme, but that there's a cost to the action or inaction. Do it: save the victim but destroy the family. Don't do it: and risk victims. As with most things in life, it's never black and white is it.

Cheery thoughts eh? Okay, let's talk about trannying shall we? :-)


Thursday evening got off to a slow start. There was a long tailback due to roadworks and I arrived a little late at Chameleons. When I finally got in there was.... ummm... no-one there. One of the karate crew (who share the venue until 7.30) popped in to ask if we were still on and if not, could they lock up. Luckily I was still in Bob mode, so I didn't scare her :-) For a mo I wondered if I'd got the wrong night, but then Jane turned up and we were back on. Yay!

With Jane's help, the teas & coffees was set up but we had no milk. Ooops. Two new folk arrived, so I left them in the care of Jane and set off to get the milk. When I got back - luckily the traffic had died down a bit - the place was packed!

For a fleeting moment, I considered not getting changed, but nah, I guess I'm 'T' through and through, so off I went. Boots + skinny jeans and a slightly too-short black dress over the top. It didn't look too short in the shop, but once you sit down, it's more of a long top :-)

I had a good long chat with the new girls (ladies?) about why they decided to come along and how they were getting on. Y'know, life and sh** :-) One lady was out after telling the wife she'd be out with a mate (technically true) because her wife doesn't know (haven't we all been there?).

That brings me back to today's lyric and while I'm pretty sure it's not what Malcolm X really meant, but it rings true for some of us tranny folk. You do what you do to stay sane. Does that sound a bit over the top? Perhaps, but the urge to dress up, if only to spend an hour here to there, is very strong. To deny yourself - and I think a lot of us have been there - is generally 'bad news'. Moods, anger, depression etc. Must be like living with a bad teenager. :-)

So I find it better to indulge rather than to deny and I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't have to hide away so much and I've more tranny freedom than I ever thought I would. Sure, the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones has never seen me in 'Lynn mode' and to be honest with you, I'm happy with that. I think it would change things between us and I don't want that. Would I say no if she asked? Mmm, well there's a question!

Blimey, ending on a cheery note? There's a turn! Have a good weekend... unless you're working it, in which case I hope it goes quickly and your proper days off are kind to you. :-D

Take care

[ Today's lyric: The Blade by Front Line Assembly ]

Friday, November 07, 2008

"I can see it in my own reflection,
Something funny's goin' on inside my mind..."

Hey y'all.

How's you? Good I hope. Me? Well, pretty good: certainly nothing to complain about... which is nice! :)

A few things have been on my mind of late. One is - or rather 'was' - the American Election. As a rule I don't tend to talk about Real Life (tm) on here. There are others who do it better than I and do you really want to hear my take on who'd make the better leader? I doubt it, 'cos I sure wouldn't :) Besides, we're trannys: are we just supposed to talk about make-up? :D Back to the point though, politics seem hardwired into people, at least in my limited experience. Seems we make up our minds on who we'd like to represent us and that's that.

So what I will say is this: people talk about Obama's victory as a historic event. From a race point of view, it is. He's the first after all. My hopes are these: one, that the American War Machine is brought back for worst case scenarios (carpet bombing and democracy seem unlikely allies); and secondly, that he manages to make a positive difference to the world. I don't know what or how, but the history we're wrapping this man in, is building him up. I suppose a few people will be hoping he stumbles. Personally, I'm hoping he does well.

The other thing, and this seems rather low brow following talk about a new American President, is my rear view mirror. It's a novelty for an ex-biker, just stay with me :) I've had this canter of words rattling around my head since Monday. I'd blame it on eating too much cheese, but I've cut back (a tranny's got to try and keep their figure :D ).

Rear view mirror, what is it you see?
Traffic that races? A slice; a cut out of me?

The tip of an ear, the side of my head.
Unshaven jaw, eyes tired or red.

In earlier times, the view is not this.
Dark painted eyes, red lips you can't miss.

An unhealthy fixation on the view from within,
Or just fragments or memory: no her but a him?

Seems the car's little mirror is there to remind,
What races up and what's gone on behind.

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Yet more from Girls Aloud, this time: Sound of the Underground. I wonder if they know they have such a tranny following? :) ]

Sunday, November 02, 2008

"Yesterday was easy,
Happiness came and went."

Hi folks,

This Saturday I had the good fortune to attend the Harmony event up in a big old hotel near Matlock. Despite having a fair bit of time to get ready, the journey up there took longer than expected. But, the Fates smiled and I did arrive with enough time to park up, pick what I wanted from the menu and get a drink in with the usual suspects. :)

How can I describe the event? I think it would have to be: interesting. One the one hand, I had a great time talking to friends, enjoying the meal and, of course, being a disco fiend, the dance that followed.

So why 'interesting' and not 'fabulous'? Well, truth be told and no disrespect to the organisers, I don't think Harmony was 'me'. Do you find you go to a film, a club or a venue and find that you don't quite click? The thing is good, but there's a little something missing. I mean, I've had some killer nights out just dancing the night away at Chams, murdering pop songs at tranny Karaoke or just having a good chin-wag with friends.

I think it's because I'm one of the lucky ones. I get to go out fairly regularly and visit a great bunch of people (four of which were also at the do: Sandy, two Tinas and Anna-Lou). I don't need to bottle myself away for a weekend once a year in a place far, far from home. So maybe I'm spoilt and it's that that's colouring my perceptions. :)

But that's not the whole truth if I'm honest... and I feel a bit bad about saying this, but the beauty pageant thing they did after the meal felt rather odd. I think there must have been a good hour between the meal finishing and 'the tour' starting up. I was asked if I'd like to judge the entrants and I politely said no. It's not my thing. I don't like competitions like that. It's kinda like you're going to point your finger at the people who don't win and say "you're sh**". Perhaps that's why I'm not a fan of talent shows that pepper the television schedules.

As I was saying to Rebbecca, and her to me for that matter, we're all just blokes in frocks at the end of the day. Sure, we may be able to look well presented or stylish on occasion, but 99% are not going to look female. Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick, but to run a competition for the best dressed or prettiest etc, well, it feels - what's the word? Unnecessary? Maybe, but 'antiquated' feels closer to what I'm fumbling for. Anyway, they'll be a video on YouTube later in the week, so you can make up your own mind if you want :)

Other than that intrusion, the evening went well and I had a good time. I just wished they'd run the pageant in another room and just let the folk who were interested in seeing it go. After all, those same folk may not have been interested in being subjected to the Scissor Sisters at full volume. :)

I guess you can please some of the people some of the time and all that. :-D

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: America by Razorlight ]

Friday, October 31, 2008

"Creatures crawl in search of blood..."

Hey peeps,

I'm rapidly running out of different ways to say "hello" aren't I? :-)

This week I ave mostly bin watchin Dead Set (apologies to the Fast Show) For those of you outside the UK, it's a nightly zombie horror series on TV. The twist is that your usual list of ragtag survivors are people trapped in the Big Brother house.

There's some dark humour in there (not surprising given the writer - who's a true wit IMO) and for television, it doesn't pull any punches. We Brits do like our dramas dark don't we? It seems that American programmes (and not to knock them) are on the whole - like the Californian weather - bright, cheerful, etc. British programming, other than comedy obviously... no, wait: that can be pretty dark too... is like our climate: changeable, moody, etc. It might be sunny now, but the black storm clouds are gathering. Are we Brits a depressing bunch? I know one of our racial stereotypes is for complaining, but most of the people I know are fairly upbeat, happy-go-lucky souls.

But I digress (as ever - Ed.) on what I was going to talk about. Have you had one of those conversations with your mates (no, not *that* one) over what you'd do if there was a zombie outbreak? The rise of the zombie game / film / TV series is interesting in itself. Why zombies again? Because they're unstoppable? Because you could be turned? Because they're cheap special effects? Answers on a postcard to the usual address. :)

Take care and... don't have nightmares :-)

[ Lyric: Thriller by (of course) Michael Jackson ]

Friday, October 24, 2008

"You're in the mood for a dance,
And when you get the chance..."

Hey good people,

I hope you've had a good week.

Last night we - the Nottingham Chameleons' regulars - got together for our Autumn party. There's a flurry of birthdays in Sept/Oct, so we have one bash to wrap them all together. Congratulations to Sandy, Val B, Tina and - ummm - me. :-)

We had a fuddle: a word which may not mean something to some of you. Apparently it's a midlander term, or so I read in the local paper. I guess you'd say it was a buffet where people bring food with them. Not being organised, I bought a box of chocolates. :-) Besides, we always have enough (well done to the caterers!) and it was a very tasty late tea.

After dishing out the raffle prizes and having a bit of a chin-wag, we cranked the stereo and had a bit of a dance. I don't know about the rest of the ladies (girls?) there, but I had a great time. Good company, good food, good music equals good times.

The only question now is: boots or heels for next week's do up in Matlock? The boots were easier to dance in but I'm not sure the skinny jeans* will be smart enough for the evening meal. Still, be a change for a tranny to be under-dressed wouldn't it! :-)

[ * I've heard it said you shouldn't wear a trend you wore last time. F*** that, since when have we trannys listened to fashion advice? :-) ]

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Abba's Dancing Queen. ]

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

"Whatever may come, the world keeps revolving.."

Hi everyone,

Four years. YATGB has been ticking over for four years. I'm somehow surprised that this little blog of mine has managed a whole 4 years. It's a combination of things. One, that I've kept at it when other hobbys have fallen by the way side and two, that so much has changed. The world, me, my family and many of you too.

Talking of you: there's that magic third factor: you.

You good people keep coming back and adding your wit and wisdom to this blog. Without that, it would I feel be far poorer. Just me howling into the void. You make me think. You make me laugh. You let me connect and for that I'm grateful.

So.... Thank you and here's to a few years more.


[ Today's lyric: A Little Bit of History Repeating by the Propellerheads and Dame Shirely Bassey ]

Friday, October 17, 2008

"I wind up in a rusted world with eyes shut so tight,
that it blurs into the world of pretend"


Mid-October already huh? How time flies. Pumpkins are in the shops and there's a whiff of woodsmoke in the air. It won't be long before Little Miss is a whole year old (bless!). She's crawling at quite a rate and she's not doing bad at trying to pull herself up either. Full of smiles too. Funny how kids are so different, even as babies. Still, enough with the doting dad eh? Aren't we supposed to be talking about the unbearable burden of being a tranny? [/irony] or this season's shoes....? :-)

The other day I was reading Alice's blog and she was talking about writing. As I was reading that I was reminded of how I got lost in the paper the other day. Okay, not physically lost: it wasn't that big, but cr*p jokes aside, I do have the useful ability to switch off when reading. An article piques my interest and the rest of the world fades away...

I don't read as many books as a used to, quite a lot less in fact. It's not that my TV viewing has gone up, indeed that's dropped right back. I seem to spend the bulk of my 'me time' on the computer. A bit of surfing perhaps and some on-line gaming, but really either reading (blogs, pages, news) or writing.

By writing I mean more than just this blog. They say everyone's good at least one good book in them, I've yet to find mine. :-) I find creative writing a great way to switch off. For the record, I did do a TG story years ago, but even though I'd like to do a part II, I just can't bring the effort up. :-)

Personally I love losing yourself in the process of imaging what's going on and somehow getting that down on screen. Well, I say writing, but realistically it's typing. My own handwriting is terrible so it's a good job keyboards were invented! I don't know about you, but I also have this mental block on what computer program I use to type things up.

Blogger's front end is fine as is Notepad et al, but there's something so very corporate about a word processor. As soon as I see that interface, my imagination seems to run and hide. It's almost as if I fall back into work mode. Weird huh?

Next week it's party night at NC. There's been a couple of birthdays (many happy returns!) of late and we roll them all up into one. Yeah, it's an excuse for a party, but there you go. It's not all bad news is it? :-) I'll have to start thinking about what to wear. Maybe it'll be skinny jeans this time around? (Yeah, I *finally* got my hands on a suitable pair. So boots + jeans and a fancy top?. Although this time hopefully my tranny powers won't fail me and I won't end up going in Bob mode. Still, it is easier to dance in trainers :-)

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Frgt/10 by Linkin Park (feat. Alchemist, Chali 2na) ]

Friday, October 10, 2008

"The North wind blows so cold,
Chilling the warmth of my desire"

Hey unbelievers,

Pull down another page from the calendar, another week goes by.

I witnessed two some-what odd events this week: one involving yours truly and the other not. Shall we start with the not-me?

I can't believe it's not punk

Put your mind back to the 70s (or any music countdown programme in the last 10 years) with a snarling, sneering young gent paying homage (!) to the Queen. The group that did and didn't make it to number one. Umpteen years later, Mr Rotten Esq is now advertising butter.

Eh? Come again?

I'm not sure I can make the connection. A bastion of yoof culture and DIY music, now flogging solid cow juice? What next? Henry Rollins and Andrex? Jello Biafra + Mr Kipling? Marilyn Manson* and Boots No. 7? (Ed: actually, that could work...).

(* yeah, not, punk. So sue me. :-p )

Music and advertising seem - at least to me - a somewhat uneasy alliance. "It's selling out" I hear from many people. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Some manage to hang on to their street cred while others plummet. Does it work if it's a comedy turn: as with Lemmy and Kit Kat? Or Motorhead and Clarks kid shoes. Actually, that *really* worked. :-)

Occasionally the artist gets more from the ad than the product shown. Babylon Zoo, Stiltskin, etc. But then I have to ask. Why shouldn't an artist do it? Who is using who?

Am I now more likely to go and buy that brand of butter / marg? Actually, truth be told, I can't remember the brand. An array of suspects for you judgement await here.

Funny old world.

(Not) In the mood...

Earlier this week I was pondering where I could get my hands on a pair of skinnys (not two Hollow-wood, sorry, Hollywood lollipops) and if the new evening dresses had hit the high street yet. Nothing was doing and when Thursday rolled around... I was just not in the mood for dressing up. Hell, I'd planned my outfit last week (boots are back on the cards) but when push came to shove, my heart just wasn't in it. Odd considering it should be - or maybe even is - Tranny Season.

Still, I did have a very pleasant evening talking with the good people at Nuthall and if I'm honest, it was a rather refreshing change from the rush to get changed and cleaned up. I also bumped into a lady I met at Leicester Chameleons: Amy. It was nice to catch up, although I don't think she recognised me in Bob mode. :-)

Tea and a chat eh? Where did I put my slippers? :-)

(ps: It's Harmony soon-ish. I'm just going along for the dinner + disco. I hope it's not going to be Mary McScary. Is anyone going along?)

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Four Winds by The Levellers. ]

Friday, October 03, 2008

"Here she comes - the great Leveller..."

Yo, what's happenin'? :-)

Ironic use of 'street' aside, hello peeps. I hope you're well.

An old friend of my mum's passed away recently leaving two (now grown up sons in their 40s) and her husband. I was leafing through the cards in the shop, looking for one that felt right. We're not overly close, but still, you don't want to see the people you like get put through Life's mangle do you?

So back to the card selection. It was a rather odd experience in that how can a card with a simple verse help? I've been on the receiving end of grief - as no doubt you good people have too - and as someone who's not grieving, it feels... cheap. No, that's not the right word; more a hollow gesture. Like shouting in to the void. Equally, you don't want to be over-the-top nor in-their-face. Some people want to talk about it, some don't. You just don't know do you. But negativity aside, I remember seeing all the cards sent after my sister's death. The person you love may not be there, but I hope it shows that other people cared for them and also for the people left behind. I hope they draw some comfort from it.

F***. This is cheery isn't it? Okay. Let's talk about shoes or something vapid before I well up! :-)

Ahhh... Balls. I'd written a paragraph below about social networking (see Groundswell if you like) but it was dry and my heart just wasn't in it. I don't know about you, but sometimes I stall on what I want to write. I talk around the topic (like now) rather than just coming out with it. I wonder if it's my subconscious getting the idea straight before I get to write about it.

Deep breath, Lynn.


Earlier tonight the ever lovely Mrs Jones set off for a night out with the girls. She looked fab - and I told her. New trousers, groovy top and foxy shoes. See, shoes don't just do it for trannys. Anyway, as I kissed her goodbye before putting the nippers to bed, I wondered if this line is true: "women dress more for each other than for men."

I remember reading this many a moon ago and it's one of those lines that sticks in my mind. I think we all want to dress nicely if we want to seem attractive. I don't just mean sexually attractive, but socially attractive too. Do you want to hang around someone who dresses *really* badly or who hasn't had their yearly bath? Shallow yes, very much so, but we make all sorts of judgements about a person who appears a certain way. When we're not so shallow, we look passed the outside and deal with that person as an individual.

Heh. Somewhat amusing, here I am - your typical cross-dresser - crowing about treating people on how they dress. Mind you, you do get to experience the extremes the above as a tranny. :-)

Anyhoo, the article went on to explain itself a bit further but as I read I began to disagree. Not all men notice, but some men do. I'd wager that most trannys do. We're wired to take in a women's appearance, perhaps more so that your average Joe. Of course, we're looking with an eye of 'that looks nice' as much as 'Sue looks smart today', but there you go. :-)

Talking as a guy, I don't have the confidence, and perhaps this is a good thing, to say to female colleagues / acquaintances 'you look nice today' when they do. Not everyday stuff, but the biggies like a new look: hair, clothes, jewellery, etc. I guess it's the fear that they'll think I'm hitting on them in some way, so instead I say hello and move on. The funny thing is: sometimes I'd like to. Doesn't everyone like a genuine and deserved compliment?

That's enough waffle from me.

Take care!

[ Today's lyric: Too Real by The Levellers ]

Friday, September 26, 2008

"Here I go, off the road, crank the stereo..."

Hi peeps,

How's life treating you? Well I hope!

There's a them to this blog: well, other than cross-dressing and all that goes with it. It's not the journey of nervous n00bie to whatever I am today either.

It is, of course, music.... or more precisely: lyrics.

I don't know what it is about the stuff, but even the bad stuff entertains (well, depending on your definition of bad I guess). Funny how what was naff can become pure disco cheese: sometimes capable of making the most seriously cynical museo cut some rug in a comedy turn. Yeah, like most of you don't know the words and the actions to Reach for the Stars or YMCA :-)

But -and as usual - I digress. Such is the bumps and lumps that come with a stream of consciousness blog. On many nights, ideas seems to rattle out of my brain and shoot out as a burst of gibberish from my fingers. On good days, I get whole sentences out. Sometimes, they're even grammatically correct. Today, I'm a little all over the place. Perhaps writing it down first would be better? Oh well!

Anyways, there's a point to this wordgasm and it's this: there are songs that speak to you.

Now I don't mean if you play your metal albums backwards there's hidden messages of corrupting Satanic lore ("Eat your greens" or "The Darling Buds of May is sh**!" for example). I also don't just mean emo angst, metal rage, the heartfelt strumming of country nor the UK equivalent: the Sarf Landen rap-talk-sing divas: but sooner or later, and unless you're listening to just instrumentals, there'll be a line or a couplet that rings a bell in your head and you connect.

Maybe even you misconnect: maybe the lyric is interpreted by you in a way the artist hadn't originally mentioned. The joys of context and personal experiences I suppose. I won't quote any examples - I'm sure you've got a few that mean something to you personally and if you do, I'd love to hear them.

But one thing I would like to know: who is writing the stuff for Girl's Aloud and why do I seem to connect with those lyrics? :-) Maybe I'm just egocentric... am I a blogger.... and a tranny. ;-)

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: No Good Advice by Girls Aloud ]

ps: I was sent a link to Glender Blender the other day (thanks Harry). It's a series about a TG folk. There are a few teasers on YouTube which may interest you. If it catches your eye, there's a number of videos available on CrushedPlanet. Happy viewing!

Friday, September 19, 2008

"Back in black, but no heads are turning..."

Hello dear reader(s),

Funny when the the writing bug strikes you. I suppose I could say 'muse' but that would imply some divine inspiration to my pondering wouldn't it? Where was I? Oh yes. Of late I've been looking at the new autumn fashions that are out and about. Like Amy sings, we're back to black (again), but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I did so struggle with acid brights - especially the idea of brightly coloured tights. Maybe for Smurfs or clowns, sure, but with open toed shoes? No, thanks. I may be a simple tranny, but I have my limits.

B*lls. I'm off-topic again. [deep breath]

Like bears, Trannys have a hibernation time - although ours is over the summer. Mmm, reminds me of that cr*p joke:

Q. What's the difference between a tranny and a bear?
A. One has scary teeth, huge claws and is hairy all over. The other one's a bear.

But low grade gags aside, there is a tranny off-season....

(although I seem to have been bypassed this year and stayed at it. But them I am a bit odd)

... and it's about now that the situation, at least for some of us, begins to shift. Can it be that there's more evening wear in the shops? Is it that simple? Is it hormones again? Dark nights perhaps? I don't know, but I can tell you this. There are some fabby new dresses in the shops for this Christmas! :-) A shopping trip is most certainly in order at some point!

I notice that patterned tights are on models on the high street once again. I thought we'd done that? Does fashion loop so much more quickly now or now that the credit crunch has hit, are we re-imagining (I hate that word!) last year's fashion at an equally fast pace? Purple seems back on the cards too. Still, it'll be interesting to see what actually sells and what my female friends end up wearing.

Not that I'm obsessed.

Oh, okay. Maybe a bit. :-)

[ Today's lyric: The Dawning of Doom by Die Krupps ]

Saturday, September 06, 2008

"The good, the bad, the average and unique."

Hey peeps!!

Screen savers are funny things. They're there for when you're not using your computer. So why have one? Our home computer is set to cycle through the ompabytes of family photos stashed on the old (and hopefully, trusty) hardware sat by my feet.

I am a terrible at taking photos, I - unlike my Dad, my mate and my young son - do not have 'the knack'. They - like a Republican on a hike in the woods - just point and shoot. The images they capture are spot on. People laughing, scenery framed and no blur: the moment caught and laid down in a digital tableau. I'm not jealous but I am slightly envious. Is there a difference? Mind you, I bet none of them can run in heels :-) (Ed: like that's a 'life skill'!).

Anyhoo, enough with the cerebral wanderings! The other day I'd left the computer running while I popped downstairs to make the ever lovely H. and myself a cup of tea. I came back to see a picture of my young son, very young in that particular picture, splashed across the LCD. Had it been any other screen saver, I'd have nudged the mouse and got back to surfing. Not this time....

I stopped and cycled through a few images. Each one kicking off memories of places, people and parties from the last so many years. How we all change - especially the kids. How some people aren't here any more: departure, divorce and, of course, death. How I've changed: fatter, balder, wrinklier; yet despite those shallow negatives: I'm happier. I see images of us having good times together. Some people have gone and some I miss dearly. One, I am glad to see the back of.

I was reminded of Roger McGough's poem about saving a family album if there was a house fire. I've spent the last 10 minutes or so looking for it, but I can only remember fragments. Photos, like all nostalgia, are easy to get lost in. Unlike looking back, I find photos remind me of the now: to cherish what we have and to look forward to what might be.

Sh**. This is upbeat. This can't be a tranny post can it? :-)

In other news I had a very pleasant time at Chameleons the other night. It had been a while since I'd seen everyone and good things seem to be happening to people (which is nice to hear!). The website had mentioned a Bring & Buy but that was off for a reason I didn't get around to hearing.

Anyways, I'd brought along an old wig (oddly the one in my blogger photo) because last time I tried it, I didn't like it. I wondered if someone else might. A few folk tried it on but no takers. Maybe it'll go to a new home on eBay... or be set free to roam the highlands, pouncing on unsuspecting celebs who aren't fooling anyone. :-)

Sandy also mentioned that Chams has been at Nuthall for the last 3 years. Crikey. Three years? Where did that time go! That first night out is still etched in my memory. Three years... sheesh. :-)

Stay safe,

ps: I notice that Justine's blog has disappeared. Anyone know where she is?

[ Today's Lyric: Carter USM: The Only Living Boy in New Cross ]

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

"Although nothing seems right... in cars."

Howdy partners,

I've had this post rattling around my head for a while. Don't worry, it's not exactly deep nor scary. So what's the biggie? There's been a shift in my lifestyle; not the giving up thing which seems to have done the rounds of late, but in some small way, the end of an era for me. I'll get to the point in a mo. Sheesh, you'd think I was paid by the word wouldn't you! :-)

Anyhoo, for the last decade or so I've ridden my motorbike to/from work in pretty much all weathers. As H's job has changed, we're now a 2 car household: my biking days are over. Dare I say I was lucky for 10 years? I guess so. I've come off twice (and it bloody hurt - that tends to focus your road sense) but Fate was kind to me and I, unlike other people I knew, saw neither serious injury nor expensive repairs.

In the last month of the summer holidays, I'd been in two minds over getting a car. On one hand I liked riding the bike to work: it was cheap to run, great through traffic queued traffic and ultimately, fun. The feel of the wind, the noise and just the feeling that you weren't cooped up, but more part of what's going on around you. To me, that's the appeal of biking, not burning down a country lane trying to 'get my knee down'. I know some folks love that, but it's just not my bag, baby. :-)

The downsides to biking, of course, are that it's not so fun when you spend 10 minutes either end getting togged up or finding somewhere to dry your gear when the heaven's have opened. Then there's the whole safety issue.... I've not missed riding in the driving rain on only two wheels this week.

Course, the filp side to queues and higher road tax is that I get to take Wee Man to school (a bit of father/son time together). I can listen to MP3s without deafening myself and I can just get in/out without wandering into the office looking like a kevlar Darth Vader.

So while I'm happy with my little tin box, a little part of me can't help a little sad I won't be riding off into the sunset. Perhaps if I'd waited to swap transport in December, I wouldn't be feeling quite so nostalgic. :-)


In other news, I spotted L'Oréal's Star Secrets in a magazine. Basically, they're small packs of make-up, where each one if themed along a look from one of their celebrity models. While they're not cheap, you do get blusher, 3 shades of eyeshadow and lippy in a cute little packet. I bought a set the other day - the colours looked very nice - and I'll give them a spin next time I'm out.

Talking of make-overs (Ed: coo, that was seamless), I've had a bit of a change around on the old blog. I won't win any design awards that's for sure, but it's nice to have a bit of a change around once in a while.

Take care!

[ Today's lyric: Gary Numan's Cars... although I do have a soft spot for the Fear Factory version :-) ]

Friday, August 29, 2008

"Soothe your temper, wash your eyes,
And give your lungs some exercise..."

Hey ppl,

A good week? I hope so. Mine - or should I say 'ours'? - was rather good. A very pleasant week spent in quaint rustic setting far away from the maddening crowds. It felt great to have some proper family time together and get away from the modern world... Well, okay, we did still have Freeview and a dishwasher, but then I don't do tents or 'roughing it'. If it ain't got 4 stars, I ain't going. You can pry my luxuries from my cold well manicured hand. :)

There was no timetable or the ever beeping mobile to distract; just leisurely strolls around woodland parks, the odd afternoon tea shoppe visit and the obligatory stop offs at adventure playgrounds to keep the nippers amused. Plus, with the latter, it keeps the Tubby Fairy at bay. You know how it works, you eat a large pie, enjoy a lot of beer and then the Tubby Fairy arrives at night and makes your waistline disappear. I think she may have been featured on Willow the Wisp, but I've been wrong before. :)

So there you go. Not much to report in a TG stylee at all, but it's nice to break the routine up!

[ Today's lyric: Let's Get Tattoos by Carter USM ]

Friday, August 22, 2008

"No more working for a week or two.
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday."

Hi folks,

Friday rolls around again huh? You'll have to make do with a scheduled post from me this week as the Jones Crew are off on a summer holiday (Ed: cue Cliff!). I wonder if we're having a nice time? I hope so! :-D

Anyhoo, here's the music quiz from last week. It's not exactly high brow, but then what did you expect from a tranny blog that quotes pop songs week after week? :-) There's no prizes although if you want to add a bit of tension, I'm sure there's a WAV for Who Wants to Be A Millionaire on t'interweb you could use.
  1. Louis Armstrong's Wonderful World appeared in which famous film about Vietnam?
    A) Platoon B) Good Morning Vietnam C) Full Metal Jacket

  2. Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend was featured in which 50s film?
    A) Some Like It Hot B) Gentlemen Prefer Blondes C) The Seven Year Itch

  3. Who didn't record 'Mrs Robinson'?
    A) Simon & Garfunkle B) The Lemonheads C) The Cars

  4. Abba's Mamma Mia. Who links the film of the same name with The Devil Wears Prada?
    A) Colin Firth B) Meryl Streep C) Julie Walters

  5. Who sang the original 'Car Wash'?
    A) Rose Royce B) Rose Tyler C) Rose Bud

  6. What is the name of Dolly Parton's theme park?
    No hints for this one! :-D

  7. Who sang 'Footloose'?
    A) Kenny Rogers B) Kenny Loggins C) Kenny Dalglish

  8. Which 90s 'creature feature' had a giant lizard destroying New York?
    A) Cloverfield B) My Kinda Town C) Godzilla

  9. Which famous 80s film had "I've Had the Time of My Life" in its soundtrack?
    A) FootlooseB) Back to the Future C) Dirty Dancing

  10. Girls Aloud said 'Jump!' but who did the original?
    A) Sister Sledge B) Pointer Sisters C) Sister Soulja

  11. Which 90s action movie featuring Nick Cage features the song 'Sweet Home Alabama'?
    A) Con Air B) Mach 1 C) Snakes on a Plane!

  12. Chris Penn was in Reservoir Dogs as Nice Guy Eddie. In which 80s film about dancing did he play a teenager who couldn't dance?
    A) Footloose B) Weird Science C) Back to the Future

  13. Video Killed the Radio star, but who sung the original?
    A) Muggles B) BugglesC) Cuddles

  14. Which computer animated film featured the track "I'm A Believer" during the karoke party?
    A) Shrek B) Tron C) Finding Nemo

  15. The Ramones cover of 'Wonderful World' was used in which Michael Moore movie?
    A) Bowling for Soup B) Bowling for Columbine C) Bowling for Columbia

  16. 'The Spy Who Loved Me' featured as the title track for a James Bond film. Who played Bond?
    A) Sean Connery B) Timothy Dalton C) Roger Moore
So that's your lot. Good luck and see you in 2 weeks!

[ Today's lyric: Summer Holiday by Cliff Richard ]

Friday, August 15, 2008

"We're gonna have a good time,
We' re gonna have a party..."

Hey y'all,

How's it going? All fab and groovy I hope!

After last week's kick in the spiritual nuts, this week's been a bit of a hoot. Thursday saw the annual 'Cream on the Green' at Nottingham Chameleons. Basically, it's an excuse to have a party, eat food that'll make your skirt tight (Ed: no, not like that!) and dance the night away in good company.

For a laugh, this year's do had a movie theme: so come along as your favourite movie star or character. Numerous ideas went through my head as this was suggested. I considering hiring an outfit, but I wanted something that went with the wigs I had in. I fancied the idea of going as Wonder Woman but - and because I'm a perfectionist, I didn't want to do black boots with the outfit. Yeah, I know that's a bit fan boy, but hey, I like to call them "standards" :-)

Thinking about what I had in: black trousers, dark hair (Ed: you mean wig don't you Lynn?) I couldn't help but think Pulp Fiction. A quick jaunt into town and I had a fitted white shirt but no time to road test the outfit.... Well, okay, what if that doesn't work? I had a short grey skirt. St Trinian's perhaps?

Perhaps this next bit'll strike you as odd, but as I drove to the venue, the idea about doing 'school girl' just felt... well... a bit odd. I was going to do the outfit with freckles, bunches and comedy Chav earrings (don't tell me you don't know the type), yet as I drove through town and thought about it, the less I fancied the idea. Is that nuts? I'm over-analysing a fancy dress outfit which frankly, isn't the whole idea to be a) silly and b) over-the-top? Yeah, I mean sure, there's an element of oddness in a guy going to a meeting to dress up in women's clothes, but I hope you catch my drift :-) Odd, but a few years ago (pre-going out to Chams) I would have been more than happy to have done so. Trannys eh? :-) Is it that it could be considered cliche? I just don't know. Anyway, I did a quick try-on in the changing room and my mind was made up: Mia Wallace is was. That or scary tranny waiter. It could be either depending on how you look at it! :-D (Ed: More wine? Sir? Madam?)

The 'Do' itself went well - even though I supplied the music :-) - and we had a treat of home made curry in addition to the usual nibbles. The movie music quiz seem to go down well and then it was on to the raffle. I didn't win, but really that's not the point. We got quite a few quid in and that'll help boost the group's funds nicely. After that we turned the music up and had a dance... only three songs later I found myself dancing on my own. Still, I love to dance even if it was on my tod. I wonder if that's how Bez feels :-)

After that it was time to get changed and help folk tidy up. I felt a twinge of guilt as a few folk had gathered by the door. I don't know if that's because they wanted peace & quiet or if they want to chat with the smokers. Who can tell! There's always the off button. :-)

All in all, I had a grand time.

Later alligators,

[ Today's lyric: Loaded by Primal Scream ]

ps: The observant amongst you will have noticed a contact form on the bottom right hand side of the screen. So, if you've anything to say you don't want to say in public - for whatever reason - there you go.

pps: A bit of late news... and following on from an earlier post about the 'gay gene' theory. There's an interesting story on NewScientist that looks at the theory from another view point.

Friday, August 08, 2008

"They just use your mind,
And they never give you credit.."

Hi peeps,

What to write about today eh? Truth be told my mind's been in such a spin today that I feel blank. The thing is I want to write something. I enjoy writing even if it is this old dribble. :-) Writing this blog is part of my weekend. It's something I look forward to and when I miss a Friday - ironic considering I'm generally sh** at deadlines - I feel that in some way I've missed the mark.

So today? What can I say. It wasn't a bad day, not compared to some of the bad sh** people have to wade through. Y'know one of those days where it's got capitals and a bold font to drive the (hollow) point home. I think it was a build up of last few weeks of being absolutely red-line flat out at work and the feeling that it's a continual struggle to just get stuff done. Sometimes it all starts to feel a bit Brazil, if you get my meaning. For those who like their myths: Sisyphean if you like. :-) Still, enough with the negative. Maybe my ego's out of joint and I'm tired. Tiredness - as I've said before - seems to drive my mood more than anything else.

How about some good news? Okay. Chams is on Thursdays and every second and forth Thursday at that. Because of the way the calendar falls, every now and then there's a gap... like this week. Luckily, I checked this time around to prevent a wasted journey.

This coming week there's Cream on the Green although given the weather, it's more likely to be an inside job: Dance in yer Pants, Impress in a Dress, Rock in a Frock, Jig in a Wig or Squeal in yer Heels (Ed: FFS!! Enough with the puns!). For a hoot, we've made it a movie theme, so it's come along as a movie star or character. I did consider Wonder Woman but I couldn't find any red boots :-) I won't tell you who I'm going as, I'll save that bit of news for next time.

I was going somewhere with this... Oh yes I remember now. The extra time gave me chance to put a few movie related tunes on CD and a multi-guess quiz for those who don't want to cut any rug. Once everyone has done the latter, I could post that here if you fancy a challenge. :-)

Well... considering my mind felt blank earlier, I seem to have waffled on quite enough for one sitting. Have a good weekend... and to those of you who are working... enjoy your time off when we're all stuck at work ;-D

[ Today's lyric (and at next weeks' party), 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton ]

PS: If trannys had a patron saint, do you think it would be Dolly? :-) And if not, who else?

PPS: I also noticed that today is 8/8/8. Nice if you like palindromes or you are Bel-Shamharoth. Not so good if you're a Discworld wizard. :-D

Friday, August 01, 2008

When these doors were open-ended.."


Roads are empty, parks are full and shop centres heave with teenagers. The school holidays are upon us once again. How time flies eh?

Just last week I was with my son at his mate's birthday party. The young guests were certainly enjoying themselves and the weather kept things perfect. One of those childhood summers where the fun never runs out and the sun is shining.

There seemed - at least to me - a certain amount of magic in the air that afternoon. Perhaps it was just my parental knowledge of knowing that the school holidays were well underway and maybe the happy recollections of my own childhood. With the sun shining and the kids all laughing, I felt a buzz of excitement: as if we were on the cusp of something. It felt like they were all about to embark on a big adventure, ride out into the sun-set on mini Magnificent Seven vibe.

I don't know if you do this or not, but there are certain days or times of the year that have this feeling of magic to them. Christmas is one of those - or it is now I have kids. In my working life it all seemed a blur of work parties and shopping trips to get things for people. Don't get me wrong, I like shopping and I like giving presents... just maybe not having to do it all when everyone else is would help :) Now we've got kids, things have settled down to a family affair and - as most parents will say - the look on their faces is what makes it all worthwhile.

Another time is Saturday - especially Saturday morning - as this gives me the feeling that I felt at the party. You have the whole weekend in front of you. Two days to do what you like - well almost what you like - with no ties to deadlines or work guff to get in the way. There's the will it / won't it roller coaster of the British climate and understandably the affect that has one where you can go and what you want to do.

Opposite of Saturday is Sunday which to me always feels like Saturday's slower and ploddier sibling. The thrill of the weekend is waning and indeed if the TV can be used a barometer of our mood, then Sunday is the quiet walk in the park compared to the glitzkreig rave that Saturday's TV is. Ironically, I don't watch much TV during these periods. Indeed, apart from a few regular shows, TV use seems to be waning in our house. The Internet seems far more interesting.

So... umm... enjoy the weekend! :-)

[ Today's lyric: Saturday by Fall Out Boy ]

Friday, July 25, 2008

"Safe in the knowledge there will always be
a bit of my heart devoted to it.."

Summer greetings!

Is there such a thing as summer greetings? Well, there's Seasonal Greetings for Christmas, so why not something for Summer eh? :-) Phew! It's really warming up isn't it. I hope it stays nice for the weekend. It would be nice to head out for a bit of parklife and let the kids enjoy themselves.

Anywho... Last week Rachel's comments on the theory that cross-dressing (or being transgendered if you prefer) may not be nurture, but something we are born into. Certain it explains a few home truths! I would also wager it shows its better to feel it rather than fight it (to mangle some words from Primal Scream). To my tranny intuition (!!) this feels right in someway. The anecdotal evidence - as we mentioned last week - is quite strong, but that doesn't make my comments a valid nor accurate study.

Don't worry, I'll get to the point in a minute! :) While I was out enjoying a chat and a cake at Chams (in fabby fave new top) last night (great turnout by the way), the BBC ran a programme featuring John Barrowman. For those of you who aren't from the UK or don't follow Dr Who / Torchwood / I'll Do Anything / The Kids Are Alright (okay - I don't watch the last two), John's a big strapping 50s pin-up of a guy who happens to be gay. Some folk have a problem with the character he plays - Captain Jack - but honestly I think it drags the show forward, but that's not what I wanted to chat about.

No, the programme - which I'm hoping to catch on iPlayer - details the recent research into how the hormones you are subjected to as an unborn child affect you. New Scientist had reported on studies showing the differences in straight vs gay brains a few years ago. Clearly, research waits for no man and the results are in.

Hopefully I won't upset to many folk with this next bit. Where are we trannys in this avenue of research? Do we have a bit of female brain wrapped up along side our male traits? Are we not quite female centric enough to be truly gay or bi? Have we by some quirk of fate had our brains feminised just a bit to make us this way? One thing's for sure, I'm not going to find the answers rattling around in my brain. I shall leave that to the professionals.... cue theme music!! :-D

Take care

[ Lyrics: Parklife by Blur. This one kinda ticks both boxes: going out on Thursday and the weekend. Ah, musical puns eh? :-) Cheesily Cheerful and all that! ]

[ Update: Wow. Some of the tests from the shrinks - like spacial skills and wordage - plus the childhood stories are ringing a few bells. LOL Damn. I think I might a closet Scotsman :-) ]

Friday, July 18, 2008

"I could stop if I wanted too..."


I'm going to do something bad. I'm going to break one of the unwritten rules of the Man Code. Mind you, I'm only a member by default and my heart was never really in it. I like shopping rather than sport and my map reading skills are terrible. Still, I can open a jar of pickles and re-wire a plug, so I'm not ready to switch over just yet :-)

Where were we? Oh yes, one of the rules is that what you hear when your mates are drunk stays between you. I suppose a snappier line would be: what's said in the pub, stays in the pub. :) I'm not a big drinker and getting p*ssed up isn't really my thing but it had been a while since we'd all met up, so why not stop off for a bevvie?

What's the big secret then? Okay. Affairs. It seems that a few folk (no names) have been playing away. One wife knows and they were (rightly so) repercussions. Two partners don't and these other affairs have now ended. So this is 4 blokes out of a group of 12 who've *ahem* strayed in the last ten years. Does this blode well for men or long term relationships I wonder? Still, the activity isn't limited to men, I know a married lady who ran off with another chap.

So why am I blabbing this? Not to have some rant about cheating b*stards that's for sure. Yes, it's cheating, but should I judge? No, I don't think it's my place and I'm close to some of my mates. I don't approve - as I know a couple of the wives in question - but lay into them? What would be the point?

Interestingly - and even with a bit of chemical fire in our bellies - the mood wasn't accepting. No, it was far more a confessional than boasting. There was none of this 'good on yer' back slapping. Conversation was muted and it took a while for the group to return to the banter we'd started the evening off on. You could see people weighing up their thoughts as the night progressed.

For a split second I found myself sat on a high-horse... only to slip off. I'd never cheat on my wife, I felt like saying. But then another thought hit me: what if I already am? What I do, who I am - a tranny - is for some partners, beyond the pale. It can be as much a breach of trust as having it away with your secretary. I suppose the thing is you don't know what's going on in your mate's heads. Heh - something I am grateful for when thinking about a night out with the 'girls'. :-)

But like an affair, a relationship can survive you coming out. I know a few couples where they are still together. There are varying levels of acceptance, but I think you have to count your blessings. A cliche, yes, but I'd rather compromise than drive the ever lovely Mrs Jones away. Luckily for me, I never had the ultimatum of 'it or me'. I think that's one of the lines a tranny would hate to hear.

Honestly. Could I stop? No, for me: to stop, throw everything away and turn my back on the friends I've made. I think it would be just too much. That's a long, dark road and one I hope I keep on passing by.

My that was chirpy wasn't it? :-)

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Just One Fix by Ministry ]

Friday, July 11, 2008

"Walking round the room singing stormy weather..."

Howdy y'all,

Another week zips by eh? Where does the time go? It's funny, I think as an adult time moves differently than when you where a child. Well, okay, the perspective of time at least :-) As a child, time would (on occasion) *really* drag. You know, certain lessons, queuing, is it Xmas yet? Whereas as a adult time seems to be the opposite: it zips by and there doesn't seem to be enough of it. Even with that extra 25th hour, I think they'd be stuff that just didn't get done. But then, how much of what we do is important in the big picture?

There was a good turnout at Chams the other night - quite a packed event in many ways. I met a couple of new people, Sarah and Cherrie (thanks for the nail varnish remover, Cherrie!). In a nod to the 80s, I'd gone for leggings and a long top. Such is fashion eh? Apart from the usual witty banter and chat, the group decided that next month we'd have a party. After chucking about a few ideas for a theme, we settled on 'movie stars'. Someone suggested a Chewbacca outfit but if so, that's going to be one hell of a waxing appointment. :D Now, the questions are who to go as and how to put the outfit together? Something to think about during meetings eh? :)

While driving through the rain the other day, I found myself pondering how much of a link there is between fashion and our climate. Yes, I appreciate it's quite obvious when you consider it in terms of 'what to wear today'. However, I was thinking a bit broader than that. What if you lived in a climate where it was less varied than the UK? I wonder what it's like for countries (and TG people in those countries) where the seasons are less defined. I mean make-up and a wig during the hot months? No thanks! :) Then there's all that skin that's bared when in hotter climes. Equally, in a cold climate those summer dresses aren't going to be of much use. While we may live in a world of global branding, some items are just not going to sell well.

While I do look at other people's blogs, the places I go to a pretty much limited to the ones written in English (Ed: Babelfish? What's that then?). I wonder what it's like to be a tranny in another country? Africa, Japan, Sweden or South America for example? Perhaps there's a bit of homework. :D

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Weather with you by Crowded House ]

Friday, July 04, 2008

"Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane"

Hey ppl,

Time for a bit of navel gazing this time around. Not so much the "what's wrong with us?" vibe, I - like so many others - seem to have cleared that hurdle for a bit. Will it come round again because most tracks are circular, who can say? Possibly, but let's enjoy the moment eh? :)

Anywho, I was walking to an appointment the other day, enjoying the sights of the city: people watching, fashion spotting and taking in views of buildings (what's new, what's changed, what hasn't). It struck me how much I don't take in when I take the car. Clearly, your eyes are on the road - or the side mirrors - so there's obviously little time for window gazing and I think this is a real shame. There's just a brief pause at traffic lights or roundabouts where you see faded posters, litter or folk walking by.

So the walk around the outskirts of town - as I arrived early (by bus) - was very refreshing. Just the simple act of not being in the office or bolting a sarnie at my desk, seemed to do the power of good. I didn't have to be anywhere - well, not for a good 40 minutes :) - and that felt very nice indeed. I could, I suppose, checked out the shops, but why bother? There was nothing I needed, not really, and taking that chunk of an hour to do nothing cleared the cobwebs away. Perhaps I should do it more often! :)

I guess that goes against the 'hurry sickness' that I read about. Clearly it's not a physical condition, but a state of mind. It's one that I see in my own life and that of friends and colleagues. The push to get to the next meeting, the seemingly endless information overload of email. As technology makes things quicker, so we seem to speed up to match. I do wonder if they'll reach a point where we can't cope with all the data coming in. One thing I do know, if I need to get work done, I have to shutdown my email client and put the telephone on silent. It's a strange world where you can get more done away from the office, than when you are in it.

Still, a full two days off... and the sun is shining.

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones.]

Friday, June 27, 2008

"I need high heels just to stand up..."

Hi folks,

I'm in a fickle mood this evening. I've got a post queued in drafts that I could use to fill space and earlier I was going to run off a tongue-in-cheek commentary on substituting the word 'golf' for dressing up. Y'know, along the lines of 'I think about golk most days. I've got a cupboard full of clothes for golf and my wife doesn't understand me'. Anyhoo, the latter ran out of steam so I canned that idea.

So what's been going on? Well, holidays and work stuff out of the way, the fates smiled and I found myself attending a somewhat rainy meeting with the ladies who do (Ed: no, not like that) at NottsChams. It was great to catch up with friends - as it had been a month - some regular faces were absent, some others had returned.

Something - or rather, someone, was missing. That person was of course Daphne. Her not being there made it feel as if something had changed in the venue. Like the place had been redecorated and it no longer felt the same. I'm not saying she was part of the furniture, but you get my drift. The group - hell, the group dynamic if you want to be clever about it - had changed because she's no longer with us. I think the loss of a friend makes you think. You think about them. You think about the people they knew and sometimes, it makes you think about your own life. Where are you headed? What if you where no longer here? Not who would miss you, but who would look after the people you leave behind. Family, friends, etc. Sh**. Cheery thoughts eh? :D

On a more upbeat note I did a bit of shopping this week. Work had been difficult and I needed the distraction. I bought some new jeans for a few bob. They're white and I feel both very 80s and a bit like a one of the Manic Street Preachers (have a look at the Motorcycle Emptiness video. You'll see what I mean). Hoping the weather would improve and having tried some wedges when we (Chams) had a lady selling shoes visit, I picked up a pair at a bargain price. I wasn't sure but a quick jaunt around town made my mind up for me. I kept them as they fit better than anything else available, weren't insanely high and were a good deal less pricey than the others I tried. The photo was taken by Tracey (so a big thanks to her!).

Trousers again. This is proving to be a worrying trend. It'll be flats next. Well, at least if I could get some in my size. :) Talking of shoes (well, this is a tranny blog), I did see the most darling pair of coffee coloured Mary Jane's in New Look. Maybe when the weather turns eh? :)

I hear that it's that Sparkle time of year. To those of you making your way up to Manchester: safe journey and I hope you have a good time! It'll be interesting reading about it.

[ Today's lyric: Statuesque by Sleeper ]

Friday, June 20, 2008

"T.V., is it the reflector or the director?"

Hey peeps,

Everything fab + groovy in your world? I hope so.

I'm beginning to wonder if there's a Friday afternoon curse on creative thoughts. Well, as much as blogging is an act of creation. Mind tends to be a burst, nay, stream of consciousness and if I'm lucky - and I guess I should include you (dear reader) - the creative vibe will kick in and they'll actually be a point to today's little piece. (Ed: I would make a welcome change, wouldn't it? :D ) I suppose I should start keeping an ideas book!

Earlier in the week I saw a couple of ladies (from work) back in their opaques. I should point out they weren't in just their tights, I don't work for Pretty Polly after all. :) It wasn't that warm, but the bright sunshine and then seeing the dark tight 'winter look' threw me a bit. Still, at least they're weren't cold! No doubt the fashionistas will be flogging bare legs this winter to address the balance. :)

Jo (Angel) has posted some links to YouTube showing a Japanese game show where they take a few young chaps and make them over into young ladies. I suppose it's a bit like a homespun version of He's a Lady (if you remember that). I think the nearest we came to a show like that was Boy Meets Girl, but the strange competitive elimination process to the latter seemed tacked on. Still, such is life in the media I suppose. Everyone else is doing that so we better do the same.

So this last week I've been looking through YouTube... Well, perhaps wading through would be more appropriate. I think my interest had peaked due to the lack of recent dressing. Funny how a month off makes you miss it! I stumbled on to a stash of clips from American sitcoms with a CD / drag element, only to hit a bit of history.

Do you remember Silver Spoons? It was a sitcom from the early 80s on ITV. I was quite young, not yet a teenager, and I remember the episode fairly well. I remember being glued to the set (so to speak) as the young lad in it dressed up as a girl to be a 'date' to his clueless pal.

It was my earliest memory of seeing someone dressing in that way. Someone trying for a *convincing* look rather than going for the comedy option.... or at least, what my memory told me (God, that wig. You can almost hear the static from here! :D). Yes, ironic that we're talking about a sitcom where the cross dressing is played for laughs (see here), but the plot was that he (the young kid) should *look* like a girl. Despite the jokes on posture and the difference in body language, it hooked me in. There's someone like me, my brain cried, but deep down I knew that wasn't the case. This was just a sitcom. Tranny characters don't come along (as a rule) in 80s. Hell, in some shows you never saw anyone black! :)

As a young kid growing up in a small town, the TV was one source of information. Certainly, our local library van didn't hold any answers to my questions. :) I suppose now, a youngster would open their browser, hit a search engine and learn that way. How things change eh? But back in the day and in my confusion - perhaps naivety - I wondered who else would be like me. After all, who wants to be alone? I guess I went looking for affirmation that other people like me existed. There was a word in the dictionary, so trannys must exist right? :)

Channel 4's gay magazine, Out On Tuesday wasn't aimed at me, yet I watched it whenever it was on. One of the side effects - by the way, if you're one of the Religious Right, grab a pen now :) - was that what the programme reported on, made me re-think and challenge the cr*p (even hate) that my school mates would say about gay men and women. After watching a few episodes, I began to wonder about the statistic: one in ten. If that was true and there were 700 boys at my school (single sex you see. No wonder I'm warped :D). So that's what? 70 gays guys, 7 trannys* and maybe half a TS? :)

[ Ed: 1 in 100? Possibly, possibly not. But if that number was true, the number should be 5. Lynn is 6th and her mate 'B', who told her before he left for college. Lynn's tranny radar is terrible! Birds of a feather eh? :D ]

Two other programmes stick in my mind from that time: First Tuesday's report on Florence, Italy. According to that programme, the city was positively bursting with transvestites. :) What was interesting to me was the interviews of the CD folk on there. They lead fairly ordinary lives (so to speak), held down jobs, *were* married and I took comfort in that. Sure, I was a bit different, but it wasn't the end of the world.

The last 'big impact' programme was a series with Philip Hodson (Hodgeson?). It was on late Saturday night (again, ITV I think) and he'd look at adult behaviour each week. I was about to turn over when I heard him talk about 'men who like to wear women's clothes'. That had my attention! :)

Anyhoo... that's enough from me. What about you dear reader? Did you see positive or negative images in the media, or did you just disengage altogether?

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Disposal Heroes of Hiphoprsy's Television: The Drug of a Nation ]

Saturday, June 14, 2008

"There's something in the way that you're talking,
The words don't sound right."

Hi folks,

It's been strange coming home to dear old Blighty (Ed: That'd be 'England' to you non-natives). The holiday was great: lots of relaxation and family time together. No need to rush out to work or panic over getting the kids ready for bed. No school-work to plough through and bedtime stories could go on and on. Just plenty of warm sunny days lazing in the pool or around the coast. We should do it more often.

Perhaps then that when I came home and read my email, the following took me by surprise. Well, actually, not completely surprise (stay with me, I'll get to the point in a mo), but I'd hoped (Ed: she means 'prayed' but she won't say it) that this wouldn't happen. A good friend of mine, Daphne, took her own life on May 12th. Weeks before, we talked about the difficulties she faced at home (bullying from someone in her local village, lack of a job and the problems in her selling her house) and you know how it is, you do your best to listen, to be a good friend and help where you can.

One Thursday there was just her and myself talking, everyone had yet to arrive. We had a good heart to heart and I said to her: "No matter how bad it gets, please don't do yourself in. We need good souls like you in the world." Daphne said that she'd walk away before she did anything like that. I took her at her word.

A few weeks later and she kindly gave me a bracelet. A lovely silver one made up of bright silver squares. "Something to remember me by," she joked - her eyes alive with her usual humour. We talked about the usual stuff and parted company. That was the last I saw of her.

Daphne was a kind soul. Someone of great intelligence, understanding and humour. She had many stories to tell (the one about the missile base - yes, really!! - still makes me laugh) and.... and I don't know what else to put. I only saw her at group meetings but we'd always gravitate towards each other. Partners in crime if you will. I - like the rest of the group - will miss her.

It's funny, if she'd moved away and I'd never seen her again, that would be okay in someway. I'd know that she was still around and (hopefully) enjoying whatever she was doing. With death, well, unless there is an afterlife, I know I won't see her again.

Perhaps it's melodramatic, but the world seems less bright withour her.


[ Today's lyric: Fall At Your Feet by Crowded House ]

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

"All your clever talk
Leaves you tongue-tied..."

Hi peeps,

With apologies to McGonagall and anyone with a reasonable command of the English language. :D

With the world's worst poet now on the go,
I fancied my chances through will and ego,
It's not that I'm short of a post or such stuff,
and writting these words is increasingly tough.

There's nothing I needed to get of my chest,
Indeed come Friday we shall be all at rest,
It makes sound like we're all gonna to die,
Not really, just sat at EMA, waiting to fly.
Two fabby weeks stretched out in the sun,
No mobile, no internet, no contact no-one!

I guess I should stop before this gets tired,
It's gone on too long - certainly more than desired.
All that remains is to say toodle pip!
If the plane packs in, we'll come back via ship.
If you fancy a wheeze, please reply in like verse,
But really, no swearing, it's naughty to curse. :-D

Take care

[ Today's lyric: Overkill by Kosheen and no, I won't be giving up the day job just yet :-P ]

Friday, May 23, 2008

"Came in from a rainy Thursday,
On the avenue..."


A bit of a whimsical post this evening.... :-)

On certain day of the month, a group of men will be thinking about less than typical male behaviour. They'll be thinking about putting an outfit together. Will this go with that? Is it too warm or too cold? In the early evening they'll be running a bath or shower before a slow and very thorough shave. A bag will be packed and they'll make their way to a community centre in north Nottingham, but this is no shirt & tie or sports event.

Hello's will be said, smiles given before they retire to a room to change. Mirrors will be set out, control-ware is put on (Ed: no bumps where there shouldn't be), tights pulled on and slowly a new outfit assembled from the suitcase or carry-all. A top, a skirt, a dress or trousers. Suit or jeans. Flats or heels.

Minutes will pass as make-up is delicately applied and a new face will take shape. Tape, silicon and padding gives a cleavage, hips and fuller backside. Shoes unlike any man's will be stepped into, the heels tipping their posture and altering the walk. No more power strides.

Finally, and perhaps the tranny crown itself, a wig will be combed, worn and teased into position. A final look in the compact and they're ready for the evening itself. Inside their heads, a switch will be thrown and for a few hours they can - somewhat ironically - be themselves.

Later on the process will be undone. First to go will be the wig and to many of them, marks the start of the cliche: the beginning of the end. All traces of make-up will be gone and clothes will be lovingly packed away for another time. Smiles and waves will be given and everyone will go back to their everyday lives. They could be your next door neighbour, your work mate, your brother, your boss, your kid's teacher... even your husband. Trannys: they are both everywhere and nowhere.

Today's lyric: Ordinary World by Duran Duran.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

"The past was yours,
But the future's mine."

Howdy folks,

Earlier last month the BBC ran another episode of the series 'Child of our Time'. For those of you not familiar with the format, the programme has followed a dozen or so families in the UK since the birth of their children in 2000. The children are from a variety of backgrounds and most of them are 8 or so now. A recent episode was about gender; a subject frequently in mind for some of us. :) Various tests where set up although the tests where more demonstraitions of how certain children interact or to show how boys and girls differ.

In one test, the children where shown six blocks with words written on them. They were asked to put one in the bin until they were left with just one (or two in a few cases) words that they would like to be when they grew up. Interestingly, all the girls picked one word and the boys all another. Well, all except one lad who seemed unafraid to plough his own furrow. If you're curious the words, there were: clever, famous, healthy, kind, pretty/good looking and rich.

If you want to pick one, feel free. I'll let you know who picked what later in the week if you like. Oh and if you've seen the programme, fingers on lips. Shhhh! :D

Looking at the programme made me realise how far away my own childhood now seems. I remember thinking - years ago (Ed: 25? 30?) - I wonder what it's like to be an adult? Yet here as an adult, my childhood memories are just that, memories. The emotion and the passion (both good and bad) associated with them has gone, eroded by time and the rough worn smooth. I can look back, but it's not the same. I struggle to connect to see things through a child's eyes. I now find myself saying the things said to me, to my son (School's, not so bar or the parental favourite: It'll be fun once you get there! :D ).

I do remember dressing up for the first time. Clearly it wasn't the full monty with dress + lippy :D I was young, perhaps 6 or 7 and my Mum had put the laundry away in the airing cupboard. On looking in to get a fresh pair of pants, my hand landed on a pair of tights instead. Curious, I took them out and tried them on. It felt both right and wrong. Right in that they didn't feel alien although clearly they were as far away as any of my boy clothes. Wrong, as I knew that other boys didn't do.

There was this fear - almost a witch-hunt among the boys at school - that any sign of femininity meant you were a softie... or gay. In fact, showing any emotion - anything other than anger - was against this unwritten male code. This, as we know, is complete b*ll*cks. :) Perhaps that's why I didn't fit in. I may have wanted to be one of the lads, desperately so at times, but looking back now, I know that it was never in my heart to be like them. You know what? I find that it doesn't bother me. I'm happy as I am; a smug bloke in a dress. :)

Have a good weekend,

[ Today's Lyric: She Bangs The Drums by The Stone Roses. ]

ps: I drove by a blue beamer today and I'm sure there was a tranny driving. I would have waved by she had her head down and seemed to be trying to hide behind the wheel.

pps: Emma' tagged me with a blog meme. So here's the reply....

What knocked Razz flat, crumpling her unexpected, unrecoginized body into a heap on the expensive Persian rug, was simple shock: cocaine-pure and twice as cold. Okay, so the person in the mirror was young, maybe a good thirty years younger than Razz was and the body was really hers. Razz realized, though she'd always thought of herself thinner at that age. ~ Lucifer's Dragon, J C Grimwood.

The game is to find your nearest book - not the phone book! :) - and open page 123. Find the fifth sentence and post the next three. After that, tag five more folk and say who tagged you. So, here's five people and thanks Emma!






I could only pick five folk. Sorry!

Friday, May 09, 2008

"Among the fields of gold..."

Howdy y'all,

Summer has truly arrived hasn't it? Well, at least in the Midlands it has. The sun's been shining and the Great British public has stripped off due to the warmth. Gone are the coats, jumpers and boots - replaced by cropped trousers and strappy vests. Luckily, apart from a few offenders (wink), this trend is restricted to just the women-folk. :)

Today's lyric is a song title - Sting to be specific, but I'd accept Eva Cassidy too - although I could have gone for 'And it was all yellow' from Coldplay.... but I'm not a fan.

(Ed: *ahem*)

Ummm? Oh yes. So why the line? Glad you asked :) The fields around the southern parts of Nottinghamshire are aglow with oil seed rape. Indeed when driving through the countryside, you seem to be in a sea of yellow flowers. It certainly brightens up the view! Luckily the smell is quite nice and I hear that it doesn't upset hay-fever sufferers. In some ways it's a shame that Google Earth / MS wotsit aren't a bit more real time because I'd like to see just how much rape seed we've got around us. Surely we can't be eating that much marg? Is it destined for our fuel tanks instead as bio-fuel?

This leads us - because basically this blog is a stream of consciousness - (Ed: the Saints' be praised for the delete button!) to the future. I'm obsess- no, 'obsessed' is too strong a word - keen? interested? No... fascinated? Yup - fascinated with the change of the past to the future. I love to see old buildings, new ones go up and even the shift from what was once 'cutting edge' and is now an accepted part of the background. The same applies to fashion and not just because I'm a tranny. Okay. Well perhaps because I am a tranny. Let's face it, most (straight) blokes don't give a hoot do they? :)

In that regard, photos are like the record of our architecture. They let us see who we've been and what was once 'cutting edge' is now old hat. We move. We change. Indeed it seems a shame, to me at least, that a longer term record isn't kept of our high streets and city centres as buildings are ripped up and replaced with new ones. I don't mind change, but sometimes I'd like to see what's gone before. I've read that with the rise of digital storage, we run the risk of losing our photo records as CD corrupt or formats become obsolete. Ahhh, the price of progress. :)

Here's to a sunny weekend!

Thursday, May 01, 2008

"We're programmed that way,
In God we trust"


Some days the writing muse just isn't with me. Early today I was pondering what I could write about but nothing - yes, nothing - sprang to mind. Maybe creativity is like sleep: you can't force it.

It wasn't until I'd got home and played with the kids that things started to click into place. In my son's room I could hear him giggling with joy as his Mum tickled him and got him ready for bed. In my arms, my baby daughter was slipping into sleep while I fed her a bottle. I know parents love their children, it's wired into us to ensure survival.

Perhaps then this is why the news of the man - and I use that term vaguely as I see little humanity in him - who locked his daughter away for so many years and then... Now this will sound melodramatic, so please forgive me, but my fingers halt when I try to type 'rape her'. I struggle to comprehend how someone can do that. At this time, words fail me. Perhaps it is better not to know why people do that.

I think about the children born into that vile world and then I look at my own kids. If we have souls, what twist of Fate ensures you 'land where you land'?

I like to dwell on the positive; that perhaps there is a point to this life yet when things like what happened in Austria, my gut instinct hopes that there's someone or something Out There(tm) that'll dish out vengeance. I know that is wrong and it'll do no good, but my nature - no, the anger in me - wants that. I want that man to know, to understand what he did.

In other more cheery news, Rachel's posted a link about a new TG focused study. It only takes a few minutes to fill out and it's about your life experience. Maybe I should have blogged about that! Oh well!! :)

Take care and enjoy the long weekend!

[ Today's lyric: Front Line Assembly's Bio-Mechanic ]

Friday, April 25, 2008

"You're the other side of the world to me"

Hey peeps,

Good week? I hope so.

So what's been going on in GenderLand then? Well, I was going to talk about spring cleaning and 'are you a hoarder' after I finally had a chuck out. It seems that spring has arrived because some of the other ladies from Chams had been doing the same thing. Trannys, we're just a slave to the seasons both in terms of fashion... and tidying up. :)

This weeks Chams was different for two reasons, firstly we had guests (more on that later) and as Sandi & Tracey where away, I had to open up. I must confess I was a bit nervous about it, but I'd got everything ready the night before, so I just needed to put the kids to bed, grab my bag and head off. I arrived quite early and there was no-one about. I put the milk away, got the signing in book from the cupboard and waited. I waited a bit more and I got that creeping doubt that I'd got the date wrong. Have you ever arrived to a meeting early and wondered if you'd got the right room or wrong time? Well, that was me.

I got tired to waiting and checked the book. Luckily, some kind soul had written the dates in there and it was the right day. Phew! So, as no-one was about, I thought I'd get changed in the side room behind the bar. I could hear who may come in and I wouldn't be out of sight of the money I'd put down. Of course, as soon as I started to put my face on (that's not as HellRaiser as it sounds), there was a knock at the door and Val wanted to be let in. Hurray! Company!!

Talking of company - and no names this time - we had two guests. A very nice couple who'd come along to ask questions about one of their relations. Their relation had recently come out to them as being TG and they wanted to learn about it. So we made them a drink (thanks Val!) and sat down and had a good old chat about the subject. They said that they knew very little about it and if it hadn't been for the Internet and the help of a friend they'd never have found the group or the knowledge they were looking for. I was surprised - and a little disappointed - to hear that they'd mailed other social groups and had nothing back. Oh, the perils of email eh?

It was a very interesting meeting because you don't get - well, not often - to engage with Jo(e) Public on such a level. Last night all sides got to ask and get the answers to various questions. It wasn't all serious and we had a few laughs along the way. I hope they left with a little less worry than when they came in.

Normally Chams is about a cup of tea and a chat. I know that may sound a tad dull to those of you who'd prefer a drink and a disco, but it's a great place to meet up with people who are like you. There's a lot to be said about a sense of community. Anyhoo, the last meeting was very much your classic 'support' meeting rather than a social. I left feeling happy to have met up with my friends and also hoping that they'd left feeling more positive.

Take care,

[ Today's lyric: Other side of the World by K T Tunstall ]