Sunday, April 30, 2006

Sometimes, it's great to be a man....

In an effort to post something a bit more upbeat than the last two entries.... Oh, but before you read on, if you don't like kids - skip on to paragraph two. :-)

Family Guys

I've had a good weekend with just P. and our little lad (LL). Today was a trip to a local park and we played for ages on the swings + slides. Fun for all the family! Yesterday, he and I went shopping for P. He was good as gold all the way around the shops despite me dragging him all around town through umpteen shops. That can't be easy when you're nearly 3, but he braved it like a good 'un. After three... 'bless' :-) He and I finished baking because a) it passes the time, b) he loves making a mess and c) we're addicted to homemade cake. One day I'll learn how to fold flower into the mixture without wearing it. He's now tucked up safe in bed and is currently fast asleep.

Good job I had the night off!

P. had gone out to visit some friends on Saturday. I'd agreed to stay in and put LL to bed. Don't you want to go to Leicester (Chams) tonight? P. asked. Honestly? No, not really. I went out on Thursday [shrug]. I'll be back around 11 she replied. So at 10pm I was sat listening to music with my feet up and she came in with a bunch of mates for a cup of tea. Luckily it was 10 and not 9, because at 9 I was relaxing in the bath enjoying the very hot water and trying not to cook myself.

Relaxing en homme

P. is also out tonight (visiting her best mate) and I'm sat her in Bloke Mode drinking tea and bending my ears to The Best Industrial Grindcore Album in the World Ever 6*!. In years gone past, I would have been counting down the hours and dashing to the dressing up box - no, really! - to pull out all the finery* and reaching for the digital camera. I guess now that I can go out regularly, I don't have the drive to dress at every chance. I also don't have to panic about getting the eyeliner off half an hour before she's back. :-D

Sometimes, laziness is a good thing. :-)

* Not true, although there probably is a compilation album like that around somewhere. I saw a "Best Punk Album in the World ever" a few years back. Is that ironic? I'm not sure. Maybe Alanis could tell me. But then again.... :-)

Friday, April 28, 2006

Welcome to a new kind of tension

I've stared at this browser window for a while now and the creative juices aren't just with me tonight.

It seems the pendulum of acceptance - to use a slightly bonkers image - has swung the other way. P. is, as you may have read, on the chopping block at work and she's really worried. I'm doing a 120mph at work and things seem to be piling up. My job is frankly, doing my head in. I really feel for P. but not having been laid off, I don't know exactly what she's going through. All I can do is listen. I hope that's enough.

I upset her last night by leaving with my face on and dress underneath my male clothes. The light nights don't make a tranny's life easy do they. :-) In hindsight, I think it would have been better to have gone and come back in bob mode. When I got back she seemed pretty jolly, but I'd not got all the mascara off and that (understandably) freaked her out.

Now, I'm hoping that the conversation we then had was increased by the looming redundency. But, underneath the all the tranny-I'm-a-bird rubbish, I'm a guy and we're not that good at reading between the lines are we. Hell, I struggle with cooking instructions most days. :-|

So we seem to be drifting towards the iceberg of ultimatiums and I'm napping at the helm. I have cut down. Heh, makes me sound like a junkie doesn't it? :-) Somewhat oddly, the phrase "I could stop if I wanted to" is hollow. I've tried in the past and it didn't work. I'm sure a few of you have been through that. Sure, you can deny yourself for a bit, but being a tranny is more than just clothes and nice shoes (ooo, shoes). It goes right to the core of your being. You're not like other men; how many of you have stood in a pub with your straight mates and wondered just how men can get excited by sport or cars? You're interested in looking good, (vanity?) and I mean that in boy or girl mode. Maybe it's just me. [shrug].

Navel gazing aside: I guess what it really comes down to, is that I want my cake and eat it. I don't want to lose my family. Equally, I know that stopping isn't an option and it's foolish to lie to myself, or P., that I can.

On a positive note - and it's always good to end of a ray of light isn't it? - it is the bank holiday weekend (wooo, no work and family time!) AND we're all of on holiday soon. I can't wait to get away.

Take care and have fun.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A week of highs and lows.

I started this post on Wednesday night full of flipancy and froth that you've grown to expect on this blog. For those newbie readers, welcome to the war. :-) So, in the style of Channel 5's Brass-Eye news, I will be presenting this blog in a good-week bad-week stylee.

Good Week

It's the Easter break. Five days away from work. ****ing hey. Say 'risk management' time one more time. Say it again, I dare you. I double dare you MF. :-D

Earlier in the week H. picked up MaxFactor's new mascara (whose exact product name escapes me right now). It's fabby, but when you're used to the standard types, like I am, you've got to watch that you don't pile it on.

Talking of piling it on (seamless link there, eh?), this week's Chameleons had a visit from a Body Shop rep. I turned up late (more on that below) to find a lady talking to the group. Behind her she had a table full of divine fabbiness that is the Body Shop make-up encounter.

[ BTW, if you're a voodoo witchdoctor and you need to summon a tranny, I recommend a table full of slap, some killer heels and any high-energy disco number. Or, you can try Mudvayne too, but be prepared for hell in heels :-P ]

I waltzed in (not literally) feeling like I'd just come to class late. The call of "a volunteer?" rang out and - as no one else was daft enough to do it - I stepped forward and said that unless anyone else wanted to do it, I'll volunteer. No-one did, so off I went. I did manage to totally embarass myself by asking, "Do you want me to take it all off?" I did mean the slap and the wig, but of course, the comment was taken the other way.

So, there I sat, wig hair pinned back while my make-up was removed and I went back to bloke-in-a-dress-and-wig mode. Mind you, I'm a sucker for a bit of pampering and this was great! The advice and products was great. The make-over? Excellent!

Normally, I'm a brown palette for my eyes. However, this time, the young lady made me over with lilac and amethyst. Yeah, that was my thoughts. Lilac? No way. But it really worked! A really startling change. Subtle and very expertly applied.

She (cat's mother) also recommended that I try some bronzing powder for my goth-white chest and arms. If I was any paler I'd have 40w tattoo'd somewhere. God, I must make more of an effort to remember people's names. I never forget a face, but names. Sheesh!

I now know that I've been doing blusher wrong for years; my nail varnish is soooo last decade; you don't have to do strong eyes / soft lips and my 2 o'clock eyeshadow technique isn't the only way to make a cat over. Quite an evening!

Jane was kind / evil enough to do some before, during and after photos. Hopefully I'll get to see how things turned out.

Bad Week

I've enjoyed the openness that P. and I have developed in the last few months. However, it seems that I've overstepped that mark and... deep breath... things are not 100% in the Jones' household. At the risk of mixing my blog style with a pastiche of Smashie & Nicey..... Her's a quick lyrical smackdown thanks to Ms Crow:

"If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?"

Wise words mate. :-) I could have gone for anything by Trent Reznor, but no, I'll stick with Ms Crow's deep insight into the modern human psyche. :-)

P. says that if I continue to talk about make-up and clothes with her, then she thinks I'll drift out of the husband container and into the girlfriend category. Obviously, girlfriend material is not marriage material. D-I-V-O-R-C-E?

Fuck. So we had a long conversation Tuesday night about the whole TG thing (going out, interest in shopping / make-up or asking about ear piercing) and where do we go from here.

To be honest, I really don't know. Hell, I'm a man underneath it all and I like solutions. However, I'm just not sure on this one. I've promised to take things slowly and not go on about girlie things. When P. talks about clothes, shoes or make-up, I must try to remain calm and not go all supermodel in a talc factory (snooooort).

Ironically, we've a day off next week were P. and I are going shopping to get her a new outfit (for a friend's wedding). Perhaps I should remain home and do something macho like not tidy the house or take my motorbike to bits. :-) Shopping eh? It's just for poofs*, birds and metrosexuals right? :-( ( * ironic!)

Ahhh.. I've got Winamp on loop. It's just kicked off The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Now, that's wry. On the plus side, it's not "This is how it feels" by The Inspiral Carpets. :-)

You gotta laugh.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Summer Loving?

What is it with the Grease jokes? Enough already! Well, we've got an all male ballet review, so I guess it's just a matter of time before someone does a TG Grease. :-) Actually, dare I Google that? I'm sure someone's got some Sandy pix somewhere.

Summer Wardrobe

You may have already read that P. and I were having a bit of a sale on Ebay. Nothing like getting folk to give you money for you old tatt. Anyway, P. asked if I wanted to keep anything before she flogged it on. There was a very nice yellow and red (no, stay with me) sleaveless shift dress... which I have kept and wore to Saturday's Chams do in Leicester. I did my underarms - which took an age and still feel a bit odd now - although I did take a cardy for the trip between car and venue. I had a good time out and met some familiar faces and some new folk too.

The one down side with all this out and about trannying is that I forget to take a camera. :-\ Vanity? Moi? Non. :-)

Eh? Summer wardrobe?

Yeah, you got me. It is only just April and woooo, it is cold some nights. Don't let the bright blue skies and foxy summer fashions fool you. Like they did me. :-)

Kinky Boots

P. and I watched Kinky Boots the other night and found it pretty funny. Sometimes I think we go in, to any Brit comedy, expecting to laugh our socks off. While there were a couple of good lines, it didn't floor me. It was, however, good fun and although there were maybe two weak points in the plot, the film was worth watching and there are worse ways to spend an evening.

BTW, the guy who plays Lola is also in Serenity. So don't f*** with him/her.

Now for a bit of local colour. It's not quite on the same scale as the Northampton factory make-over, but just down the road used to be a firm called Beeva Garments. They made bras, controlware, etc for women. They were also the people behind (I don't know if you ever had a look). The web site is still there, but the factory has been turned into trendy flats. That or they're having one hell of a make-over in there. :-)