Friday, September 30, 2016

I don't remember this bit when I bought a ticket!

Hi,

Okay, let's bundle all of my weekly thoughts into the proverbial washing machine and give a spin. I'd make a joke about not mixing the colours, but it may sound unpleasant. You know, like a bad Trump :-P

Satire aside, it's been a bit of a mixed week. I have.... at the risk of sounding like dear old Marvin from Hitchhikers, felt a bit low and I resisted the urge to write anything about it. Mainly because I don't think it would have done me much good to have talked about the cold, dark mud, when instead, I should be working on getting out of it. Which, after some walking, a little thinking and some distraction; seemed to manage.

Bad Breaks

Shall I start at the start? Oh, and we'll skip on from first the earth cooled and then the dinosaurs came. :-) Thursday night, all fine. Feeling refreshed and okay with the world. Same again Friday: glad it was the weekend and all felt fine. Not too late to bed and then Saturday.... wack.  I almost typed Wham, but I'm sure George and Andrew don't need the exposure.

"It's just a ride..."
Yeah, Saturday just seemed to hit me flat. Looking back and there's little point, I feel, in describing the negative emotions. Instead, I'll ask: was this a come-down thing? Was it that I was super happy and when I came back to Planet Earth, it was with a crash, not a bump? Or was it that I'd gone from expressing me to putting a large aspect of me back in a box?  Perhaps there was an element of the infamous trans panic, in that as I packed my things away, there was a skrit noise and I noticed my favourite brown wig had split along the hairline. Yikes!

Whatever it was, it was not pleasant, and at the risk of trolling for comments, or cynicism aside; asking for feedback; how do you cope with a post-trans-episode crash?

Funny, a few weeks ago I was scoffing at a survey that asked about immersion into computer games. Then, a few weeks later, I was doing just that. Perhaps, I don't know as much about myself as I think I do ;-)

Good News

Despite the above 'Wobble', there were rays of sunshine in the week gone. I returned the wiggle dress without issue, so that's 25 quid to ponder spending at Amazon. Plus, the dress I bought on a whim last time, will, I think, be spot on for the Chams party this coming October.

I popped into town while on work business and visited Nicola & Steph at their TrendCo shop in Nottingham. Twas in bloke mode, but you can't have it all :-) But we had a good chat while Steph kindly fixed my wig and we confirmed the visit to Chameleons at the end of next month. I also made an appointment to for Steph to trim the long auburn wig, which I collected today. I'm happy with the cut, so I just (gah! just!!) need an hour to put some slap on and try it properly. I also learned that said wig has a mono top, which means I can alter the parting and it still look natural. Well, as natural as a 6ft bloke ever will ;-)

Nicola & Steph mentioned they have a few gents pop in to buy wigs and sometimes they're chatty, sometimes they're not. They did say they mentioned Chameleons and so word must get around about our little group.

Talking of which, I had a long chat with a lady from BBC Radio about us, although she's keen on people's stories, which means interviews and recording. How that may sit with the group, I don't know. I do know we're keen to keep the group quiet. Sure, it's one thing to be on the web and people who want to find us will. It's another, I feel, to put our name out on the airwaves and who knows who might be listening. That, is nothing something we're quite so keen on. Still, I'll ask the group and see if anyone's interested.

So, I've got the party to look forward to and then it's half-term. Hopefully we'll manage to get away, although it will mean I'm missing a meeting. Fingers crossed it doesn't go Pete Tong again, eh?

Cheery thoughts! :-)

Lynn
x

2 comments:

  1. Oh I recognise that post-trans come-down feeling all too well, It usually sets in after two or three days of a post-Susie high to the point where I wonder whether the brief snatched opportunities are really worth the feeling of depression that follows when you have no idea when or if the next opportunity will come, especially when you can't explain to your partner why you are feeling down when they accuse you of being moody and uninterested in anything. (I know I come across like a superannuated sulky teenager during those periods when my default response to questions is 'whatever you want' or 'I don't mind'.)
    I haven't found a trick to it. I'd love to know of one.
    On a more positive note, good to hear you got your wig fixed and a new one styled and waiting for its first outing. (Hmm, maybe outing isn't the best word to use in that context. You know what I mean.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing, Susie. I don't feel 'the high' as quite so high, if that makes sense. At least, no more than I wake up on a regular Friday and thing Ah, the end of the week!.

      Yes, the moody thing. Not good. It's a tricky situation isn't it. Try and mask things by putting on a brave face, sneak more time, or be honest about your life. Again, what's the right choice? Honesty may be the best long term policy, although it may carry a risk of too much, too soon.

      But, as you say, good news about both wigs. Things to be cheerful about.

      Delete