Friday, July 22, 2016

"What sorcery is this?"

Hidey ho,

In an effort to avoid the last few weeks of 'bugger, it's Friday and I've not written anything', I'm going to strike while the iron is hot. Or, in more modern language, get ma shit together :-) BTW, if any of you know anyone who talks like that, get help as there's a risk of being stuck in 90s Slacker talk.

Moving on....

Home-front

As I type - or more accurately swipe -this post, I'm currently sat at home on a work day, enjoying the warm sunshine in our newly tidied up conservatory. Thing is, we've used it as a bit of a dumping ground come play area and it was, frankly, a mess. Cue a busy weekend of tidying up, recycling the junk and giving some stuff away, it's now usable and comfortable. Certainly more space to stretch out and move around. We've not spent anything, other than time, and if anything we've given things away. The good thing about the latter is the rather nice twin feelings of de-cluttering and making someone else happy.

Radio

On Wednesday, Radio 4 hosted a programme about children and gender. It's over on iPlayer if you're interested. I've still not gotten around to listening to the rest of it and when I posted a link over on Facebook, there were mixed comments. Not that that's a bad thing. After all, our stories aren't all the same and what some listeners tolerate, or agree with; others, it upsets or enrages.

As I got out of the car and sloped into work, memories bobbed to the surface, stirred by the programme. I thought of a chap at work, we'll call him E, who I was talking to about children. E's are slightly younger than Wee Man or Little Miss. It seems E's youngest - a boy - was very much into Harry Potter and being a wizard. So far, so kid. I know Wee Man went through a cowboy and pirate phase, although thankfully he kept his looting of the high seas to playgroup. Anyhoo, short of a suitable wizard outfit, D's son was wearing a Disney princess dress. Floor length with long sleeves, apparently.

This, upset D. "But it's a dress!" he muttered to me. I nodded and asked him what his lad did when he was wearing it. Tea parties for teddies, dressing up for fun, that type of thing. "No, none of those. He has an old stick we found in the woods and he runs around yelling cod Latin."

I asked if D's son enjoyed Harry Potter and he sighed. That special sigh parents - and some partners - do. The one reserved for use with a gentle drop of the shoulders and a knowing nod. So, he's a wizard then? I offered. To me and you, it's a red dress, but to him, it's robes. It's just let's pretend. D seemed happy with that suggestion. I didn't want to put the wind up him or anything. I did add that some kids have a different view of clothes and mostly this is temporary, and on some occasions, it's not. Doesn't matter either way to me as a parent. D seemed okay with this.

On a personal note, I wonder what is it to be young and trans now? Not that I'd like to be a kid again. Sheesh, Puberty and being a teenager. No thanks, once was quite enough! :-) Given today's trans exposure and - at least seemingly - more help to trans children, where would some of us be headed? It is a case that we can't look back, because we've got a few more miles on the clock? Or, is it that it's best not to look back? I mean, you can't change what has happened and for some, is there a danger that looking back will only bring regret, rather than seeing the distance travelled?

Gender chooses the person, Mr Potter
Like many of you - as in, both readers ;-) - I've thought long and hard about my gender. There have been times, teenage and 20s, when I've wondered if being a bloke is really for me. It's sort of like having a funky hat. Every now and then, I'd take it out of the cupboard and try it on for a bit. Sometimes, I'd spend days in it. Other times, the fit was wrong. There were times I was scared people would see me and I'd put it back.

Now. I've still got the proverbial hat, but I don't worry about if I have to wear it all the time or not. Instead, I try to enjoy it when I do, and not worry so much when I don't want to. It's not perfect, but then, what is...?

Take care,
Lynn

2 comments:

  1. I know Wee Man went through a cowboy and pirate phase, although thankfully he kept his looting of the high seas to playgroup.

    Having read a bit about modern day pirates (particularly of the Somali variety), I can't help wondering if in a few centuries' time, people will romanticize them as much as they do the old, Treasure Island-style buccaneers nowadays. Will the kids of the future exchange the plastic cutlasses for plastic AK-47s? Just a silly thought. :)

    This, upset D. "But it's a dress!" he muttered to me. I nodded and asked him what his lad did when he was wearing it. Tea parties for teddies, dressing up for fun, that type of thing. "No, none of those. He has an old stick we found in the woods and he runs around yelling cod Latin."

    Yelling cod Latin? Clearly, his behaviour isn't a sign of transgenderism, but rather demonic possession. Get him to an exorcist! :)

    Not that I'd like to be a kid again. Sheesh, Puberty and being a teenager. No thanks, once was quite enough! :-)

    Ditto. My dominant memory of childhood would probably be that of always having some adult authority figure or other bossing me around. About the only thing I'd say I really miss about it was that wonderful sense of the future holding limitless possibilities. As for puberty, that was a very weird time for me. I'd elaborate, but anything else I might say on the subject would probably be a case of TMI, so I'll shut up now. :)

    Re the funky hat analogy, I find that that'd aptly sum up the attitude I've long had towards machismo and stereotypical blokiness. They're things I've often found it fun to play around with, but I'm glad I don't feel like I have to engage in them all the time. Interestingly enough, I've been reading a lot of books lately on various countries' respective militaries and branches thereof (I've developed a particular interest in the US Navy SEALs of all things), which I've found has really rekindled my interest in all things macho. I actually made an attempt to join my own country's Army Reserve back in the '90s for various reasons (thankfully, none of them had anything to do with trying to suppress my feminine side), but, sadly (or not), was unsuccessful. All the aforementioned reading I've done has given me cause to regret this (for probably the first time in nearly twenty years), though I'm not sure how much this is due to genuine regret at not having ever served my country in the above capacity, and how much is due to simple regret at the fact it's probably now too late for me to change my mind. Probably not worth dwelling on.

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    Replies
    1. > Pirates

      Probably. You know how history and pop culture goes. :-)

      > Exorcist

      I'm afraid I did snort our a laugh in a most undignified way after reading that. :-D

      > Hat

      So it sounds like it works in the other direction too. Perhaps it's all about hats (or masks) and we switch them around as required. Human, eh? Tsk :-)

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