Friday, July 05, 2013

Mirror, mirror, on the wall....?

Hi,

With all things being well, this post will see the light of day - okay, the subdued kiss of evening - sometime Friday night. Yes, the Jones Massive are on the move for a short break. Partly due to school training days, upcoming birthdays and the why-the-hell-not factor. Not to mention the fact that both the Ever Lovely Mrs J and I could both do with a break from filling the boilers of bureaucracy with the paper of pointlessness.... okay, that's enough of that word torture, you get the picture :-)

Earlier in the week, it was Mrs Jones Senior's birthday, seventy years upon with rock, no less. My sister and my dad, (bless 'em) had colluded to plot and plan a surprise birthday party for her. All went very well and the event went better than we had hoped. Lots of the Jones Clan wandered in from afar and a good time was had by all. It was rather moving to see my mum so happy (she does love a party!) and I'll be honest and say I'm sure I had a little bit of grit in my eye at certain points. There was also much fabulousness from the Jones ladies and yet, there was not a hint, a whiff or sign of Pink Fog..... just happy times for all.

In other news, the BBC posted an article asking if we can make ourselves happier? Judging by the research, it seems the Nordic states have it sussed.... whatever 'it' is, they've got it. Maybe if I ask nicely, do you think I could borrow some? Just for a bit mind you. :-)

I'll leave you to peruse the article in your own time and I won't repeat it verbatim. A few points made me laugh (the one at the end, about having kids) and others made me nod in surprise, and sometimes, in agreement.

Going out to dinner, with the nippers (fun, very occasionally, a little fraught, but mostly fun), or the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones (always good, even if the food's not great), peps up the happy count. [ Ed: at this point, you may like to visualise Dracula, skipping merrily through the night, throwing flowers... :-) ]

Close friendships, yes, again. Through time, changes in lifestyle and distance, I no longer see a lot of the friends I made in my twenties. They have their own lives to lead and so it goes. I think it's a few of the friends I've made at Chams, whom I'm closest too. Is it the level of openness, that I have no secrets or front to maintain? They see all of me - emotionally speaking - never physically (eek! :-) ), so does that make us more connected or not? There is a question.

Equality? Other than 'yes, please', I think it does make me happy. I know reading / hearing about discrimination annoys me, so yes, I would like to see a more equal society. Not just for the seemingly selfish reasons of being accepted from a trans PoV, but because it [equality] should be something we all aim for. It's not easy and personal history will colour the situation, but I am hopeful we'll get there.

There was also a comment about self perception of good looks. Now.... and I have to be careful how I saw this, as I don't want to sound like I'm fishing for compliments. :-) I don't look at myself - in Richard or Lynn mode - and think "heeey". Oh, older readers may like to think of the Fonz at this point, although it is optional. ;-)

Where were we?

Oh aye, self delusion. :-)

No, looks. So, no. At no point do I see my image and think I'm good looking. I know there are people who do look at themselves and think that, but that's them, not me. No, the best I hope for is me being content.  I've heard people say that you shouldn't aim for content, because it's the middle of the road, you're not going for gold, etc. And yes, I do think that last comment is so rich in BS, your rose bushes would come on a treat. :-)

I've been desperately unhappy many moons ago; sometimes looking into the reflection and wondering why it didn't match with what was in my head..... but really, it was. After all, a mirror really reflects. You come to it with a heavy heart and that what is shows back. It wasn't the mirror than had a problem, it was me. Now, I come to it with acceptance and hope, so it bounces that back too. If you're lucky, I may even leave with a contented spring in my step.... however I decide to present myself that day.

Stay fabulous,
Lynn
x

2 comments:

  1. Acceptance should be what we aim for I think. If you expect perfection and Hollywood looks then how can you not be disappointed... Where as looking to accept your reflection is somewhat achievable. Though if you had asked me a couple of years ago I may not have thought that was possible either.

    Anyway enjoy your break :)
    Stace

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    Replies
    1. I'm with you on the acceptance front. Wishing won't make anything better and longer for something you'll never have... well, that's a route down a dark path at the best of times. :-)

      Hollywood looks? Not unless it's Nightmare on Elm Street and I can't be doing with the thinness. Food is way too nice! :-)

      BTW, a friend posted the URL (below) and then it popped up on StraightBook too:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPAat-T1uhE

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