Friday, May 25, 2012

"Home boy,
Everybody needs a home."

Hey all,

Given the British obsession with the weather, I feel it would be remiss of me not to say 'Phew, what a scortcher'. :-) So earlier in the month, it was rather nippy for May and it now seems that whatever Powers That Be seemed to have stored up the warmth and the sunshine for the last few days.

Luckily for me, I've today off. I'm at home looking after Little Miss because Granny - who usually looks after LM (bless 'em both) - is on a much deserved holiday. With the weather being so nice, it's been good to get out and stretch our collective legs. The dog seems to be enjoying it too, although when it gets too warm, she starts to flag. I guess it's been a bit of a part time week, as I had some more time off to take Wee Man on a school trip. Yes, three hours on a coach with pent up kids, although they were pretty good considering we were delayed by an hour due to traffic. Wee Man's group were sensible and somehow I managed not to lose any of them.... which was a bonus! ;-)

Last night was Chameleons and it was very much a quiet affair. The hot weather had put me off getting all dressed up. Much as I enjoy the chance to enjoy a dash of glamour, so to does the need to not feel like I'm about to melt override the previous. :-) The unusual suspects where around and it was great to catch up with people; hear what they'd been up to. Much as I like a bit of music and some dancing, there are times when just sitting back and having a natter are just as welcome.

On another note, I was visiting my parents the other day. Now, the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones' parents like to move around, whereas my folks are more stay-puts. So, somewhat obviously, they're still in the same house that I grew up in. Sure, they've decorated and extended the house over the years, but it's still pretty much the same. I suppose it's a bit odd in that when I go back, the village hasn't changed much due to the laws about Green Belt. Don't worry, I'll get to the point in a mo ;-)

If walls - and mirrors - could talk.
So there I was, stood at the top of the stairs daydreaming by looking out of the window. It was then that an old memory slid to the surface. I realised that the landing and the wall behind me would have been where I'd stand to review my early cross dressing attempts. I'd have been a young teenager back then. Sure, I'd sort have half dressed when I was a lot younger, but it was as I hit secondary school - hello, hormones - that I started trying to put outfits or looks together. I had an old shelf that I'd place against the wall and prop two the two mirror doors from the bathroom cabinet. It was just the right height for a young TV. ;-)

If memory serves me correctly, it seemed both a fun and very confusing time. I felt guilty that I would borrow Mum's heels or a skirt, but back then, the idea that I could buy my own things seemed terrifying. Funny how thing's change with time eh? I think the early teen period was okay and it was only when I got to 18/19 that things seem to become a bit of a mess. Still, I'm pretty sure that other folk - trans and non-trans alive - found growing up tricky too.

Still, enough of my prattling. How was growing up for you? Did you sail through it, or soldier on? Did you risk dressing in public - parties and suchlike, or what it much a case of staying firmly in the closet?

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: Home by Iggy Pop ]

6 comments:

  1. You watched telly in the hall? ;-)

    Pretty much the same. I do remember trying on nail polish - and then realizing I had no way of taking it off! (And for a long time, through those hellish years, I thought my Mam didn't know. Turns out she knew all along!)

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    1. For some reason, the spam filter hung on to your comment. You're not pimping goods are you, CA? :-)

      Fail on the secrecy bit with your mum. How did you find out she knew?

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  2. Great post as usual Lynn 'Sun Headline Writer' Jones! :o)

    My growing up was very closeted and hidden away - I though no-one could possibly understand. My mum had a denim skirt that I would wear at any available opportunity. I used to pull it up and tie it around my chest so that it was really short! I had the figure for it then...

    I opened up a little when i was 16/17, I did start to open up to two different girlfriends. One rejected me straight away, dumping me unceremoniously. But I guess at that age, its hard to be that open - or it was anyway. The other girlfriend actually let me wear her underwear, tights and skirt. I told her when we were on holiday together and she was lovely for a few days, but became worried that I was taking this 'game' a little too seriously. She was right. When we split up a few years later, she immediately threatened to tell people about it. That act alone pushed me back into the closet for another four years.

    Went to university at 18 and that's when I bought my own clothes for the first time. I remember buying underwear, a skirt and a top and being really happy.

    I'd forgotten about those memories - thank you for helping to bring them back x

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    1. Thanks, Rhi <<>>

      Sun writer indeed! Tsk. :-) Thanks for sharing your story. Sorry to hear that your Ex threatened to blab about it. Why do some folk feel the need to do that?

      Still happy times at Uni eh?

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  3. A nice post, Lynn.
    Me, firmly in the closet I was.
    Once, during my gap year, a knock came on the door - one of my neighbours was wearing a LBD and looking not bad at all in heels with his long hair loose. Off to a fancy dress party with his mate - how I envied him, but hey that was before the Interweb, when we all had our own little closet and zero information.
    I agree with Rhiannon - buying your own clothes is such a nice feeling. Pity it took me so long to get up the courage.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, Penny.

      Yes, buying your own clothes is rather good. Items that fit and that are yours and yours alone (so less guilt!). Plus there's the whole shopping experience, but that's another story for another day.

      What did we do before the Interwebs eh? Muddle on in our own little world I suppose.

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