Friday, May 18, 2012

"'cause she new what she was doin,
when she told me how to walk this way"

Hiya,

As way of a change, this week I've been away on a course. Not the tucked away in a hotel type of thing, but just away from the cut & thrust of the office. This time around it was a change from the technical and on to matters of a team focus. I found the whole thing interesting, but I think that was mainly due to the people I was with (lots of new people for all over the firm) and all the conversational stuff that went on. People swapping stories and life experiences, that type of thing.

Anyhoo, during one coffee break, one attendee  mentioned that she'd been looking to study counselling, but given the travel required (the degree was down south), she decided against it. I asked why and she said she had an interest in CBT and suchlike. We had a bit of a chat about that and I mentioned that I'd been on a CBT course to help fight off the Black Dog. It was interesting to hear her view of the process and during the chat, I noticed another lady's ears prick up. At a suitable pause, she said "I heard you mention CBT. Did you get anywhere with it?" Cue a few questions and answers from the both of us.

Long and the short of it, this other lady had been battling against depression and as she came out (so to speak) with it, so did a number of things she'd been saying slot into place. Funny, we sort of bonded over that and as she said her issue seemed to be brain chemistry, rather than - and in her words "some deep, dark, terrible secret" I just nodded. I almost said 'gender issues' but I'm not sure if that would freak her out and once you're out, that's it. There's no bottling that cliché back up again is there? :-)

Tonight is Invasion, although time time around (Ed: or do you mean 'yet again', Lynn?), I'm not going along. It's been a busy week, but I'm wary that it bugs the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones and after the week she had at work, it felt a bit iffy going. Instead, I popped out Thursday night to visit Sophie and her house guest, Saffy. After dropping Little Miss off at Granny's, I snuck into the Centre and got changed. After that, it was a quick jaunt down the motorway to Sophie's place. I was a little late - as per! - as despite knowing exactly what I'd be wearing, Little Miss wanted just another episode of her favourite DVD before we left. Well, it would be rude to say no, wouldn't it.

Suitably dressed, I arrived to say hi to Sophie and Saffy. Soph was in Bob Mode which threw me a little, because I pretty much always see her in...umm.. her mode, if that makes any sense. I said hi to Saffy who kindly replied that I wasn't what she was expecting. What she meant by that - and I'm guessing in a nice way - I'm not sure! :-) We all had a good natter, plenty of tea and biccies while we talked (Ed: and talked) about various things. Again, it comes back to the fun of meeting new people and hearing what they've got to say. Different paths, different experiences and all that. There was also a spot of boot trying on, although how people where such high heels all night, I'll never know. Five inch heel plus platform, I'd never need a ladder to do the ceilings at home again. ;-)

One thing I did take away from the evening was the casual comment of the idea that we - the trans massive that is - seem to be drifting away from TV or TS. Yeah, I know, labels, labels, labels. :-) But stay with me for a mo, what I mean is - and at least from my own limited experience - the trans community seems to be blurring the line so that it's no longer all about surgery, or all about dressing. We seem to be mixing it up and folk following a path that suits them. Hey, so long as people are happy with their path, who am I to say what's right or wrong?

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: Walk This Way by Aerosmith and Run DMC ]

10 comments:

  1. There's a couple of interesting terms I've found, and occasionally use, in place of the t-whatever label. Both basically come down the fact that gender identity is a lot more nuanced and complex than "this or that".

    Genderfluid is pretty much "just because I'm going with male today does not preclude me feeling more female, androgyne or a-gender tomorrow or even later today".

    And Genderqueer, which I use a fair bit in the more accepting parts of the 'net, just means "Other"

    Also, I was hoping you'd gone with Sugarbabe and Girls Aloud ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The term genderfluid seems suitably vague. Thanks for that.

      I could have gone GA + Sugababes, but for some reason I went with the 80s version. Did Run DMC + Aerosmith lead us to Clawfinger? ;-)

      Delete
  2. I think people in general, whether social, sports, music, trans, etc., are nowadays finding different paths to express or 'place' themselves in which they feel comfortable without the pressure to conform to a group's vision. I just don't think it's just a change in the trans massive.

    I'm always concerned about the terms and, definitely, the labels used in the T community. In one sense, I am comfortable with where I am, but I cannot describe to someone which peg I wish to hang from. And I do want to find a label for me as I think I'll get comfort from being able to tell someone where I am when talking about Tanya. I hope I've explained that clearly...... :-)

    In the other sense, I don't want to describe another T-person with an incorrect term or label for them.

    It's quite a minefield, isn't it.... :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Interesting you say that, Tanya: the part about folk expressing different sides and in some cases, going against the accepted norm (whatever that is). As you said it, a few folk started to pop into my mind.

      Yes, the label debate will run and run. :-) I think I could just about manage to put a peg in the wall, but I'd not presume to put your hat and coat on it. ;-)

      Delete
  3. "One thing I did take away from the evening was the casual comment of the idea that we - the trans massive that is - seem to be drifting away from TV or TS. Yeah, I know, labels, labels, labels. :-)"

    Interesting :) . So what other labels are people using? Or defining for themselves? Or discarding altogether?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Trans' seems to be very popular. You still read/see 't-girl' although that seems so old school nowadays. :-) I hear transgender, transgendered, full-time, part-time; those type of things really. Cross-dressing appears on occasion.

      Despite the above, I'm tempted to follow a friend's comment of "what about just 'people'?" :-)

      Delete
  4. It was lovely to see you Lynn. I think what Saffy meant was I had led her to believe you too might be in 'bob' mode, and she was pleasantly suprised that you weren't.
    See you this thursday?
    :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the invitation, Sophie <<>> Oh, so that's what Saff meant? I was very confused! LOL.

      Hopefully, I'll be out and about this Thursday.

      Delete
  5. Its an interesting point, I guess terminology evolves like a few years ago transvestite increasingly fell out of favour with crossdresser replacing it. It would be nice to think label wars are over but there's probably some hiding like Japanese soldier's in the jungle who don't know its over.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it'll run and run as new people arrive and state that the old labels don't fit them.

    ReplyDelete