Friday, March 25, 2011

"My need is such I pretend too much"

Hiya,

It's been a bit of an iffy week this time around. A little lacking in the sleep department, a touch too much going on at work and stuff just adding up. I think that lack of sleep didn't really help and I was beginning to feel like I was slipping back into bad old habits. Luckily.... a self-enforced early night set the clock back a little. To use some project management mumbo-jumbo: lessons learned? Go to be early when it all starts piling up.

So what's been going off? Well, the event with Boots visiting seemed to go well. The staff turned up with crates of stock and covered five large tables with products. The Chams massive chatted and asked about this, that and the other. I bought a few items, one for me and some for the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones.... including the rather nice freebie Bonus Set. I caught up with friends old and new which is always nice. I managed to hand over the pair of boots that had been languishing in my car to Kate. She seemed pleased which is always nice to see. Plus, I got to reset the tranny clock that ticks in my head. Mrs Alison - no real names - asked if I'd paint her nails. I was a little suprised by the request, but obligied none-the-less. Hopefully the resulting paint job wasn't too cack handed. :-)

As to last week's mention of a salon team visiting, I got back to the lady in question and said 'Thanks, but no.' It didn't feel right and have thought about it - and talked it over with the group - the more it feels like it was the right thing to do. Too much of a sales pitch perhaps.

I am.... despite rest, somewhat tired. Not physically, but mentally. I've alluded to the idea of social masks before. As time moves on I'm finding it harder and harder to keep mine in place and bottle it all away. I find myself holding back on conversation and events. I know that certain subjects will cause distress and now, I just keep quiet. Anything for an easy life eh? But at what price? I wonder where it is all going. Will I keep the peace to hang on to what I have now, or will it blow up for it all to come crashing down? To be honest, neither has appeal right now. Maybe with careful planning there will be some middle ground. You can hope, right? But then if the safety line is cut, where will it all end?

Freedom, possibly, but at what price and for who and ultimately, why?

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: The Great Pretender by Queen ]

Friday, March 18, 2011

"In a rush hour of another day"

Hi,

At the time of writing - well to be more accurate, at the time of thinking about writing, I'm sat here looking at the Blogger window sifting through the rush of the last week. It's been busy, but not in a bad way. That busy you get when lots of stuff gets done. Loose ends get tied off, projects come to fruition and, if you're lucky, what you've done makes a little bit of difference to someone.

That's pretty much is this week. I've been flat out at work and enjoying it. Not that lose yourself in work stress-out that goes on. Moreover, getting stuck in because I'm enjoying it. Unless I have to, I don't work outside of work hours. Hey, I don't get overtime, so really, is there any point? But this time around, part of the project was intellectual challenge and the software is something I like using. I guess it's a bit like putting together a fine sculpture or a jigsaw. Your start with the raw materials, get those sorted and build up from the basics. Do a few test runs and slowly add to the work until it's ready. Hmmm, come to think of it, it sounds more like baking.... or Lego.... but hey ho. :-)

So other than the work thing, there's been a few events in the pipeline for Chameleons. Firstly, there's the visit from Boots this coming Thursday. We've got Number 7, Clinque and a few folk from fragrance coming along. Rather than it being a make-over session - which we had last time - this event will be three.... I guess you could say mini-shops... where we'll be able to quiz the staff on ideas and products. There'll be stock for available to buy and we're getting 10% off too. That's due to kick off at 8.30pm, so I've got to get my skates on to be ready for 8.15 when the ladies are turning up. Fingers crossed it'll go well.

In other news, I had an email from a local beauticians asking if they could come along too. I got the whiff of a sales pitch in the email and a telephone conversation confirmed it. Internet services, premium products, gentle sale, jumpers as goal posts, etc. Hmmm, maybe not the last one, but all the same, I'm not convinced that the group will get much out of it and really, if they're not, why tie up an evening with it. Maybe I'm being overly sceptical, but I'm not getting a good vibe from it.

Do you ever get that? When you're doing something and the old Han Solo danger-sense kicks in. Something's not quite right, but you can't put your finger on it.

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: The Loving Kind by Girls Aloud ]

Friday, March 11, 2011

"Reasons to be cheerful."

Hi,

How's it going? Here on Planet Jones it's been a bit mixed. Well, mixed up perhaps. A strange sort of drift through good things and not so good stuff, all with that old devil, tiredness.

Let's get the good stuff going because - and let's face it - that's the things that keep it all worth while. I'm feeling a lot better than I did at the start of the week. I think a good long kip and a night out with the girls (okay, t-girls) has helped. That and getting on top (Ed: oo-er!) of a work project that's been bugging me for a while. With Little Miss stopping with Granny, it meant I didn't have to get up quite so early and that extra 30 minutes dozing was very welcome.

I'm not sure if I'd been overdoing it, or if it was a case of a few night's interrupted sleep, but I was beginning to feel the numbing embrace of the black dog. Don't worry, I won't be reached for the noose or shotgun just yet. ;-) I did start to feel that I was circling around it and much as it pulled at me, I didn't want to go back down that route. Extra walks, keeping busy with work or writing seemed to help. Sure, I found myself snapping at the kids (not good) and Mrs Jones noticed a downturn too.

In fact, she got a bit narked by it and much as I tried to try and explain - about depression - it's not easy, even for a paid per word gobsh**e like me, to get the right words. What I was trying to say is I don't want to be down and I don't like being down. I would much rather be bumbling along in my own little world like I used to. But... with any illness - because that's how I see it - you don't get that luxury. If you break your leg, it doesn't matter how much of a 'brave face' you put on it, it's just busted until it's healed. Still, we talked and that helped. That's the minor bump of negativity out of the way, because if I look back at where I was and where I am now, it's a long way out of that void.

So. Other good stuff? Thursday was, mais oui, time to collect the gear and make my way to Chameleons. This time, some funky tights and flat boots for a bit of a change. Unusually for us, we didn't have anything big on: no party, drive-by make-overs or such-like. Just a good old fashioned sit down and a chat. A few new people came along and the group did their best to say hi and make them feel at home. Rebecca popped in later on and later on, we had a chat about improving the ambiance of the place. Don't get me wrong, the Community Centre is a good venue and while the group give a warm welcome, I guess the larger hall can look a bit barren. To be honest, it's partly my fault as in the winter months, our numbers are up, so I put the chairs out in the big hall. That's not quite as cosy as the bar area - not that we can drink in there, but hey, so it goes.I got to catch up with friends and generally take it easy. What's not to like? :-)

Boots will be visiting next time - which reminds me, I must check they've got all they need - and, we've had another company approach us about a visit. This time it's a local beauty salon. I'm not 100% sure we're the right target audience, but I guess we'll see what they have to offer and a trans-friendly shop isn't to be sniffed at.

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: Reasons to be Cheerful by Ian Dury and the Blockheads.... or Faithless and "Reasons (Saturday Night)" ]

Friday, March 04, 2011

"Safely back where you belong,
And see how our love has grown"

Hey all,

Good week? Mine's not been bad thanks. This time around - and at the risk of sounding like a cod reference to Jesse's Diets - this week I have mostly been a single parent. Now, don't panic I don't mean that in a I-ticked-Mrs-J-off-and-now-she's-left-me kinda way. That would be bad. No, moreover that the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones was called away on business. A whole week without her. :-( Understandably, the kids and I have missed her, so the weekend can't come quickly enough as she's back on Saturday. Somehow the house is still standing and none of us have starved. I guess that's one advantage to the old Tranny genes; I may not be able to double park or explain the offside rule, but caring and catering come fairly easily :-D

It was rather odd being house husband once again. Sure, I had some help from Granny Jones at the start of the week, yet during the night, there was just me, Wee Man and Little Miss. The place was very quiet once they'd gone off to sleep. For a while, my sister was on her own and I really don't know how she did it all. I suppose in the old days (Ed: all of eight years ago) I would have been opening the dressing up stash every night. This time, not really. Sure, I did try a few items on, but that was mainly to see what had been languishing at the bottom of the wardrobe and what fitted / didn't fit. The shelves and hangers are a little less packed now. My loss, charity's gain. :-) Thing is, you can't keep everything and really, if I've not worn it for a good few months, it's time to let go and move on.

I met up with a friend for a spot on lunch and a walk around the shops too. Other than a good chat and a tasty lunch, no fashion purchases where made. I hadn't gone out with anything that I wanted in mind and at the mo, I've got enough clothes to be going on with. Maybe the chill winter breeze is keeping the idea of floaty summer fabrics at bay, yet at the same time, I'm not seeing a lot I'd like to part cash for. The shoes - other than a few wedges - where variations on last summer's cut out styles. On the upside, there was no rushing around and I didn't buy anymore black shoes. A first for me. What about you, is there an item, shop or style that you keep on buying?

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: You're Not Alone by Olive ]