Friday, October 21, 2011

"No new tale to tell,
Twenty-six years on my way to hell"

Hiya,

Note to self for the next post: delay on having the weekend G & T until after you're written this weeks musings :-)

Last night the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones was out with friends, so yours truly was holding the fort. Bath time and bedtime stories done, it was time to sit back and amuse myself. I suppose in years gone by, the first thing I would have done is give the kids an hour to be properly asleep and then it would be Lynn time. These days, I just don't bother and I guess that's down to the fact that I know that at least twice a month, I've got an appointment with my alternative wardrobe. I've heard from some that twice a month would not be enough and while there are times when I feel the pull of the Dark Side, pretty much 90% of the time I'm cool with it.

So with time on my hands I decided to catch up on a TV show I'd been meaning to watch. Now, I don't know about you, but if I'm not careful and I'm feeling a bit restless, my hands will reach for the chocolate box. Good for the soul, but not so much the waistline! Instead, I thought I best sort out my dress for the next meeting. It wasn't a trying on session, more a sewing session. Honestly, I'm so manly, sometimes it hurts ;-)

I think it was last year I bought a rather nice purple dress from Very. The only issue with it is the stitching wasn't very good and if it hadn't been for a careful application of a safety pin, I would have needed something else to wear. Anyhoo, I'm planning on wearing that again for the upcoming Chameleons Halloween do. So it was out with the needle and thread to sort out the two holes. After that, I realised I had a t-shirt (a bloke one should you be curious) that also needed a little fixing. I guess I was a little over zealous when it came to cutting out the label.

Where does this stuff come from? Oh and I don't mean the above gibberish. ;-) More the creative / fixy type skills. I'm really very bad at DIY, but ask me to fix Wee Man's school trousers (or convert to summer shorts) or put together a fancy dress costume and I'm as happy as Wendy... sorry... Larry. :-) Maybe it's a trans thing, but there are less useful skills to have I suppose :-)

I think it was Thursday that was Spirit Day. Not so much drinking in the streets nor getting in touch with your soulful side, but more support of young LGBT folk. I spotted the event while looking at the It Gets Better site. Sadly, I let the side down because while I may have a few funky colours in one wardrobe, my bloke stuff is more traditional. Okay, I did have a shirt in purple, but I was in jeans that day and it didn't feel quite right. Oh the vanity! ;-)

While looking at the site, I had a quick look at a few of the videos that folk had uploaded. One of them was a young gay chap coming out to his dad. I really felt for him because it can't have been easy for him. Perhaps that's why the T gets pushed together with the LGB: at some point we feel the need to come out and perhaps there's safety in numbers. Perhaps there's a touch of irony, in that being a tranny, for most of the time, outwardly, I'm that stereotypical closeted bloke with a family, dog and 2.4 kids. As an aside, just this week a (trans) friend came out to her Dad and it did not go as well as she'd hoped. If she decides to blog about it, I'll link to it from here, but it's not my news to share.

So after I watched the video - which I felt positive about - and then I spotted some of the replies. One of them was from a Christian gent and curious to his point of view, I clicked it. Sadly, it was not the accepting vibe that my sister, a vicar (yes, really) gives out, but the stereotyped bigot pushing the "you're going to burn in Hell" message instead. Now I know you shouldn't really talk about religion because it's a deeply personal matter, but the negativity shown by that man really wound me up. As a person - and religion aside - I just don't think it is right to go around telling people who are struggling with coming to terms with who they are, that they're 'wrong' and are 'going to be punished'. I think it's just cruel and if you did want to bring people into a faith community, how is that going to encourage them? Ahhh, there I go again with my liberal sensibilities. :-)

I had thought about making an It Gets Better video myself. My main worry is that I'd be outing myself and while I'm not so bothered, what keeps me in check is my thoughts for the family. I really don't want to give bullies any easy ammunition so my kids are picked on simple because of who I am. That said, I feel it would be beneficial. Yes, I really found it difficult coming to terms with being trans during my teenager years. But I got through it and yes, as the slogan says, it does get better.

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: Wish by Nine Inch Nails. I wonder if that'll go down well at the Halloween party? :-) ]

6 comments:

  1. I'm not sure I'd have the nerve to video myself having a personal conversation like that. Seems like rather a foolish thing to do...

    There are advantages to being lumped in the LGBT bandwagon. At least as a group it is 'getting some traction' (to coin a rather worn phrase) even if speaking personally, being a straight cross-dresser, I don't really identify with most of what it stands for.

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  2. I feel that certain inevitability of having the 'chat' with my parents. Eeek. :oS

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  3. Penny: It [the video] is very personal and through it, I'd hope that someone may take comfort in finding someone like them. A bit 'I got the t-shirt and survived' sort of thing. Equally, there's no real reason to do it on video, although while finely crafted words are good, a video can say so much more.

    As you say tho: it does feel a little out there. :-)

    No, I don't really need the Gay Rights that people are fighting for, but I do think everyone should have the right to marry (regardless of sex/gender).

    I find it interesting to see the Equality Act only really applies to people thinking of transition. Does that mean to qualify for that level of protection you've got to continually say "well, I'm thinking about it"? :-)

    Sophie: Eeek indeed, mrs. I really hope all goes well. [hug]

    My Mum & Dad do know, but then when I had a 'going straight' period in my 20s, they were so happy to hear I'd stopped.... I didn't really have the heart (guts?) to tell them otherwise. The funny thing is, I'm far happier and more balanced than I was then. Oh the irony. :-)

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  4. Regarding telling one's parents about one's cross-dressing, I did that myself at a relatively young age (when I was around 17), although it wasn't something I did entirely by choice. My mother found out about my fondness for women's clothing when she stumbled upon some ladies' satin pyjamas I'd recently bought, and which I was trying to dry in secret after having given them a wash. Luckily, she didn't seem to take the revelation I was a cross-dresser too badly; indeed, I think she'd probably suspected by then that I was one anyway (given that she already knew I had a great love of "girlie" colours such as silver). She later persuaded me to tell my father* about it, and while I can't say he was overjoyed by the news, he didn't blow up at me or disown me over it either. Over the years, I think they both came around to it a bit more, simply because they'd seen me in women's clothing (as well as rather flamboyant men's clothing) often enough to have become somewhat desensitized to the sight, as it were. I think they also ended up actually liking some of the more feminine items in my wardrobe!

    On the subject of religious bigots, I've seen a few in my neck of the woods of late. One weekend a few months ago, for example, I witnessed a standoff between a bunch of religious extremists and some LGBT activists in front of my city's parliament house building. The latter individuals were demonstrating for the right of gay people to marry, while their opponents were there with signs saying things like "YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL" and "GOD HATES EVERYONE, YOU ESPECIALLY!" (well not quite, but you get the idea). It all looked most fascinating, and if I hadn't had to be going somewhere else at the time, I probably would've hung around to see how much more heated things between the two groups got.

    The above-mentioned God-bothering folk have also taken to "preaching" in my city's main shopping precinct on a regular basis. By preaching, I mean hurling abuse at passersby and telling them that they're all going to go to hell (invariably for the pettiest of reasons**), so they're understandably not very popular among shoppers. Rather amusingly, however, a lot of other people have taken to haranguing them back and telling them how full of hate and shit they all are. It makes for some wonderful free entertainment!

    *Who unfortunately passed away of cancer, at the all-too-young age of 62, at the end of last year. That's part of the reason you haven't been seeing me much around here for a while - I've been spending much of this year just trying to get my head around the fact that he's gone.

    **Such as believing in evolution and watching movies. No, really!

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  5. Zosimus: Sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounded a very cool and laid back gent. My Dad is getting on a bit in years and while he's slowing down, I'm hopeful he'll be around a lot longer... well, so long as he wants anyway! :-)

    Evolution?! Next you'll be suggesting that the Earth orbits the Sun. :-D

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  6. I'll leave the video myself youtube doesn't need another rambling video.
    Yes i've had "the talk" which will never get easier though life will get better.

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