Friday, July 01, 2011

"And every kid on the whole damn street,
Was gonna make it big and not be beat."

Hiya,

There are days when ideas for a post, or perhaps even just something to talk about, come thick and fast. The thing is though, it's not so much the raw generation of ideas.... well, actually, that's not 100% true and I dare say that if you're like me, you look out of the window, sigh to yourself and wonder how you're going to fill the white space of the input form. Okay, moving on from that, if I do have something to discuss, it's how to start it. Sometimes I get hung up on just saying hello, whereas other times - like now - a stream of consciousness bursts forward to fill the t'interwebs with fluff live and direct from the back of my head. :-)

So - and as was said on a popular comedy show - what's occurring? Wee Man's birthday is later in the month, so the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones and I have been carefully stashing presents in the house. TBH, he's a good lad and doesn't (yet) go looking through the cupboards. "Whose are these heels, Daddy?" :-) I guess there's just the wrapping and a suitable birthday cake to sort out now. It was also his sports day and bless him, like his ma + pa, he's a thinker, not a runner. It might not do his self-esteem much good coming last, but at the same time, you do what you can as a parent to praise and encourage in the areas where your kids do excel. Wee Man's is imagination and provided he's focused correctly, off he goes. It's quite thrilling to be involved.

Talking of families, I have over the past few months been making more use of Facebook. Me along with seemingly everyone else on the planet. :-) One thing that has happened - well, other than me making and sticking to a personal promise to quit on games that suck time away - is the extent of the social network. I don't say this as a brag, moreover as an observation. It's like a little web that grows out from friends that you find. I found an old school friend on there and slowly, friends from my childhood slipped back into my social circle.

Really, the above is the reason for today's post. Not from a trans PoV, but that these old friends, I've not seen in 20 years plus. The last mental picture I have of them would be when I was secondary school or earlier (11ish?). Now, of course, these people are grown up, some with families of their own. What amuses me, and not in a nasty way, is how like our parents we become in looks and actions.

Sometimes that's a good thing, but there is the odd person - by that I mean a parent - who's behavior is less that ideal. My own childhood was good - very good compared to some folks' and that's down to my folks doing the best they could. Yet I know of now-grown-up kids whose behaviour mimics the negative cycle of their own parents. Don't take this as a smug-as-sh** post, I think it's more a pondering over why they're doing what they're doing and how much sway do you have over your genetic programming/fate?

Answers on a post-card to the usual address.

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: The Kids Aren't Alright by The Offspring ]

6 comments:

  1. I think the nature vs nurture thing is very interesting.

    My brother and me are a world apart and we grew up in the same house and went to the same school.

    But neither of us are bad... That is something that I did see at school. Some of the people I went to school with had terrible parents. They were not allowed home after school before a certain time, they had no long term discipline. They got away with murder, but woe betide them if they did anything that was allowed outside of home inside of home. They didn't know what was right and what was wrong.

    These days I try not to go back to the place where I grew up to see how it has turned out. I know it's gone even further downhill from when I was living there though. I imagine that the vicious circle has continued and their kids (and probably grand children) are just as bad...

    My generation seemed to be the first to take the whole 'I have rights', whilst ignoring responsibility to the level it is now.

    Stace

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  2. Stace: I've been back a few times to the old stomping grounds and each time I do, it reminds me that I was lucky to move away. :-)

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  3. I think certain aspects of somebody's personality can only come from nature. That's what makes us unique, apart from the people who bring us up. A large amount, namely basic morals & behaviour comes from nurturing (or a lack of it).

    An absence of, or too much discipline (and even inappropriate, misplaced & inconsistent) can result in.. well - we've all seen it haven't we. Basic feral behaviour.

    Too many people nowadays don't take enough responsibility. It's the state's fault. It's the teachers' fault. It's the television's fault. NO. Education begins at home IMHO.

    In my own family I've seen cousins have different attitudes to parenting & produce completely different children. The soft, touchy-feely, leave in front of the TV babysitter (what I'd call wishy-washy namby-pamby) style of parenting rooted in psychology has seemingly produced an off the rails, demonic child who steals & wrecks cars. The strict but loving upbringing where both parents worked hard but spent every possible moment *involved* with their child has produced bright, attentive & sociable people. Funny, that.

    I hope my little boy turns out better than I did. My parents didn't do such a bad job with me & I like to think I'll have learned from their mistakes.

    Regarding Facebook - Ooo.. who'd have thought it'd be any use eh? ;-) I've cut myself off from people I used to work with, people I went to school & college with. They just didn't have anything to say to me, nor me to them.

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  4. Justine: Isn't that the hope of most parents? That there nipper turns out better than they did.

    I think all kids - and some adults (!) - need boundaries and while pretty much having to make it up as we go along, it seems funny how many so-called old school parenting techniques appear in advice columns or parenting handbooks.

    As to Facebook, the folk I bump into are people whom I had the time of day for. Most are - to quote Rimmer - people you've met along the way - but there are friends too. Sometimes it's just cool to catch up and then carry on.

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  5. Probably the last person who should spout off about bringing up children i've seen wonderful children and i've seen total brats. Parents can be brilliant however as Larkin wrote they can also mess you up (i'm paraphraseing :-))

    n i've seen wonderful children and i've seen total brats. Parents can be brilliant however as Larkin wrote they can also mess you up (i'm paraphraseing :-))

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  6. Lucy: Yes, Larkin's wisdom on parents comes readily to mind on many a day. :-)

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