Friday, October 23, 2009

"We're plastic, but we still have fun!"

Hiya,

This week's been rather odd. Not in a dodgy way, but more in a blogging kinda way. This will be my third post that I've started. Sometimes the writing bug bites and it seems there's lots I want to get out of my head and on to paper... so to speak. :) It's not exactly like a lot has actually happened: no ground breaking changes or shifts in the whole trans experience.

I was going to say that maybe I'll store those posts up, but actually, I don't think that'll happen. I'll probably come to look at them in a week or so, re-read what I've put and delete them. Perfectionism? Maybe, but if something doesn't feel quite right, I won't post it.

Talking of not posting - funny how my brain works - one of the topics of a previous entry was just that. All the things I don't talk about. Not so much the private things such as what the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones gets up to, or how the kids are doing at school. No... more the big stuff. Things that happen in the news, even - dare I say it? - chunks of time that will become history.

On one hand, I think that this blog is in some way a bit of a backwater. I don't talk about the big stuff like the recent wars, the election or the small bumps of public upset: MP expenses, the outcry over the column by the Daily Mail on the late Stephen Gately, etc.

On the other: there are news sites (and blogs) who dedicate themselves to this task and really, will adding my voice to that throng help at all? I doubt it. So, instead I stick to writing about what I know: trans related issues.

Hell, I don't write about my IT stuff, but then do you really want to hear about what I get up to at work? It's important to my employer and I put my back into it, but it wouldn't make very interesting reading. That and there are some excellent technical 'how to' sites out there that would teach you a lot more.

So.... trying to get back towards the whole trans topic, there are a few wee gems that have popped up this week. Firstly, it was time for a night out with the.. ummm... boys? at Chameleons this Thursday. It was a quiet night - at least compared to last time's party, but I like the quiet nights too. We had a good long chat and swapped amusing anecdotes. It was, simply, just good fun.

We also had a visit from one of the people who shares the Centre with us. To be accurate, the Karate folk have the Centre before Chams and they're often packing up as some of us turn up. It's all very good natured and as everything at Chams is on the level, we don't - or at least I hope we don't - give them any concern.

Anyways, one lady - whose name I shall not reveal - popped in to offer us some raffle tickets. We obliged and as the tickets and kitty went around, her curiosity was piqued and she asked a few questions.

Do we consider ourselves to be women?

I said, some may do but I don't. I'm still a guy under all the clothes.

Do we want to change sex?

Me? No thanks but some folk do. Most of the people at Chams are simply trannys, although we do have one or two transgendered folk who come along.

Outwardly - and I mean from appearance only - is there a difference a TV and a TS? From the layman's view of someone who doesn't know much about the whole trans community, I guess we all look a bit alike. Maybe that'll ruffle a few feathers, maybe it won't, but that's seems a common question for non-trans folk to ask.

Would you live full time if you could?

Personally, no I wouldn't. I like being a guy. The beauty routine is a hell of a lot easier to start with :) Cack jokes aside: I'm a Dad and while I don't mind getting glammed up once in a while, I think it would kill the fun of it, if I had to do it day in day out. I suppose that why I'm just a tranny. :-)

Would you have any surgery? Boob implants or electrolysis?

Some might do, but I don't fancy permanent boobs. I spend more time in bloke mode and I don't think your off the rail shirt and tie are cut for a 34b :) Beard zapping? A lot of trans folk have sung the praises of laser therapy, but it's out of my price range right now. I'm not particularly hairy and the one time I tried to grow a beard - just for the craic - it didn't get very long. Heh, it didn't really show up on photos either - I just looked worn out. LOL.

Do our wives know and what do they think of it?

The Ever Lovely Mrs Jones does know, but I don't tell her how I look nor has she seen me. I do know that Sandy (Tracey's Mrs) did make that jump as have other ladies (or 'real girls') who attend the group with their partners. Does Mrs Jones mind? I wouldn't say she's over the moon about it, but think we've got by the point where it freaks her out. Bless her, it must have been a shock.

Interestingly, Jane turned the question around and ask the Karate lady what would she think if her husband started to want to dress up. :-) The lady in question said it wouldn't be too much of a worry. How things change he?

Do you wear her clothes? Where do you get your underwear?

No, I've got my own wardrobe because shopping can be rather fun. As to underwear, you just go and buy it from a shop. No-one's bothered these days. :) I am wearing Mrs Jones's boots tho!

Questions aside, it was all very good natured and as I say, we've - trannys that is -been in the Centre for nearly 5 years or so. I think they've got used to us :D

In other news, Channel 4 ran a programme called "8 and wanting a sex change." It was about a number of American children who had started using hormone blockers at a young age. The idea behind the treatment was to (obviously) halt puberty, give them time to decide if they wanted to stick with their birth gender or transition. If they did the latter - and I'm not expert - but my guess it would be easier. It was a really fascinating programme, both from the side of the child (who must be going through a hell of time) and also from the view of their parents.

I think we're all wise to the idea of a parent being distraught or negative about it: it's a stereotypical reaction. Instead, this programme let the parents talk of their concerns and on the whole, they were very supportive of their child who wanted this. Maybe the programme was skewed in that regard: would a parent who was against the idea appear on such a show? I'll let you catch it on '4 On Demand' or YouTube (if it sneaks in there) and you can make up your own mind :) It certainly caused a bit of chatter on the forums.

All in all, a good week. Halloween soon and later on it's Bonfire Night. I do love autumn!

Take care
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Paparazzi by Lady Ga Ga ]

13 comments:

  1. Mrs Jones has never seen you dressed? I want to say that's odd but it's only odd to me. I've realized that those who dress seem to dress in shadows and far corners of empty houses. I am glad to know you have a group where you can let your fem side roam freely.

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  2. Nice outreach there Madame Ambassador! One mind at a time is the best we can hope for.

    The "8 and wanting a sex change" bit has me thinking though. Which is always a worry on the weekend :).

    It seems that we have become such a consumer society, so focussed on the perfectability of all things, that we are starting to think of ourselves, and our offspring as configurable and hopefully ideal things.

    It worries me. I lament the rigidity of the past, but I fear the consequences of playing a bit too much with Mother Nature.

    I imagine that when we are old and grey our approaches to gender identity are going to look very primitive to younger generations.

    Have a lovely day!

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  3. Oh, oh, oh and I meant to say, love
    the tunic.

    xoxo

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  4. T.C.G: No, she hasn't although we have talked about it. I don't push the issue because how can it not alter how she sees me? I don't want to drive her away as I love her very much.

    Mrs Jones has said that she's curious and while she's seen what I wear - and borrows my shoes! - she too is worried that it could adversly affect our relationship.

    ps: Love the avatar shot of the cute shoes. Go you! :)

    Petra: Thanks. Bless that lady tho as she made the first move (so to speak). She didn't have to walk into a room of strangers - and face it, do they come any stranger that us lot? LOL

    To be fair, Mrs Karate was polite, friendly and was genuinely curious. Why not answer her questions? Like you say, if one person leaves thinking we're not loons or pervs, that can only be a good thing right?

    As to the young TG kids... it's complicated isn't it. I think I can understand what you mean - the idea that with the right money, you really be anything you want. That said, if that's what they want - and I've (and maybe you too) heard some heartache from TS people - who are we to deny them a shot at happiness?

    ps: Thanks for the kind words about the long top.

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  5. Very thought provoking post Lynn...

    I must admit that I, like T.C.G., was surprised that Mrs Jones hadn't seen you dressed.

    I have to say that tranny or not I'd love to get rid of my facial permanently... Like you I couldn't grow it if I wanted to - but having to shave daily annoys me. Especially as 1 days growth isn't really enough for the razor to work with but by the end of day too I look too scruffy...

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  6. Heh, interesting questions from the raffle ticket seller - thankfully tactful & didn't verge into embarrassing 'what do you do with IT?' enquiries. I've had to field a few of those in my time, once from my boss (very long story).

    It's interesting that your wife has never seen you dressed but I reckon you're absolutely right not questioning or pushing the issue. Very well defined boundaries are essential to keeping the peace in a lot of situations. My wife has, over the years, swung from initial utter acceptance (coming out with me, the whole nine yards) to grudging tolerance. She's since gone somewhere in-between those two, and often comes into the room for a chat while I get ready. She generally gives me a lift into town too - after checking the coast is clear of course! It's all well & good 'finding your balance' but nothing is guaranteed to stay the same. I think it's all too easy to fail to realise that & many girls mistakenly pile on extension after extension to initial good will from their partner.

    Regarding permanent hair removal - I'd love to do away with my pathetic beard area. It's not so weak that it can't defeat ordinary foundation but at the same time there are too many places where it doesn't grow at all never mind as slowly as the rest of it. I'm very tempted to get myself lasered but from what people I know have said it hurts like hell. I don't do pain unless the gain is absolutely certain, and that's the problem with lasering. I dunno if it'd work for me - but there's only one way to find out. Regarding the expense.. somebody spelled it out as about a pound a day. It doesn't sound like that much really, does it?

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  7. Stace: Thanks, Stace. Why so surprised? I'm curious why you both think that.

    If it wasn't for the expence of laser, I think I'd have it. All that time saved on a morning and no worries about nicking your neck and bleeding on to a clean shirt. :)

    Justine: LOL. No, luckily we didn't go there. OMG, explaining tucking to someone you've just met - no thanks! :)

    At the risk of soundling like a sound bite, a relationship is a two way street and there's comprimises to be made by both partners. I think it's only natural to be p*ssed off by any hobby your partner has at some point. None of us are saints.

    May I ask how did Mrs Time react when she saw you for the first time?

    A pound a day? No, it doesn't sound much. Shame there's no payment plan like that either! :)

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  8. Lynn: I guess it's all from the way that your blog put the idea in my head different to reality...

    Justine: I feel quite sad now. I read your first sentence and thought 'Surely being in IT isn't that embarasing anymore'. Then there was a loud bang as the penny dropped :)

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  9. Zapping those pesky facial hairs is something i'd really love to do if the money was no object, despite my cowardess over using the epilator (the nearest thing I can equate to the pain inflicted).
    Lucy x

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  10. Speaking as someone who has just been for their second session of lightsheer, yes it does hurt. (about the same as epilating)
    And I would say its more like £1-50 a day.
    Like the outfit btw Lynn. Nice look. :o)

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  11. Stace: Lies, damned lies and blog posts eh? :)

    Lucy: Ow, epilation. They do work wonders on chest hair, but elsewhere - like on the feet - owww! :)

    Sophie: Thanks, Sophie. Second session huh? I hope it's working out for you.

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  12. The first time my wife saw me 'dressed' was in photographs & she took a lot of persuading they were really me. In person we'd agreed to head out on the town (to the Northern Concord of all places) so it was really just a case of TADA! As I remember, there was a bit of a 'wow, bitch' & that was it.

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  13. Justine: LOL. That's quite a story. I suppose a photo is safest and time will tell on this one. :)

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