Friday, January 30, 2009
The other week I was at a conference: a small do of about 30 people - all of them blokes. Well, all blokes bar the lady who organised the whole gig. She had a really nice black shift dress with a faux shirt layered under it... but I'm waffling.
I, like perhaps you, do my fair share of dressing up - cross-dressing if you want to be precise - but what about dressing up the other way? Male dressing up. Some may say 'en drab' but that's not always true. There are some nice clothes if you're a chap. Shirt and tie are typical office garb, but there's other uniforms: a format of clothes that marks us out as a particular type of worker.
Talking of uniforms, one common sight at these conferences is the suit. Or perhaps more accurately, the business suit and tie. I keep my suits for such occasions because like a nice dress, I like to keep them special. To me, a good suit, isn't something you wear everyday. It takes the occasion out of it, but then my attitude to clothes, perhaps like yours, is rather broader than your average chap. :-)
During one of the seminars - where my mind drifted off as per - I started to take in my fellow attendee's clothing. While 'the suit' was the top item, I noticed a number of gents with open collars and no tie. Maybe I'm odd - no, don't answer that - but to me, wearing a suit without a tie just doesn't feel right.
I've read and heard in a few places that the tie is on it's way out, but I'm not sure I agree. Maybe we will become less formal, but I think if you need the right look - perhaps gravitas even - you need to be dressed up properly. A shirt and no tie means 'down the pub'. :-)
[ Today's lyric: Putting on the Ritz by Irving Berlin. Something I cannot hear without thinking about Young Frankenstein :-) ]
Friday, January 23, 2009
I feel the urge to start off with some witty comment rather than the usual "how's you?" But my feet are cold and really I should be sorting out something to eat, so I'm not quite in the zone. Shall we just get straight to it? (Ed: oo-er!)
Have you ever worked for something - a personal goal, some material item, job or holiday - and then when it's just about to arrive, stop and think: is this what I really want?
I'm on that track right now. There's a job opportunity opening soon and for the last year or so I've been thinking: once so-and-so position arrives, I can put my hand to that and leave a lot of this junk behind! Funny thing is, now the new position is about to be released (at least according to the rumour mill - or 'cooler talk' as I hear from overseas), I'm looking at it thinking: but is that really me? Do I really want to go down that route?
I guess parts of it are self-doubt (can I do it?) but more of it is: will it interest me? Do I want to leave my work mates behind? I mean they're a really good bunch - and in the unlikely event they're are reading this, thanks for keeping schtum :-D
(Ed: You know, if someone posts anonymously 'Your secret's safe with us Lynn, Love from all in XYZ Corp' - she'll freak out )
We have a good laugh together and, hand on heart truth: it's more who I work with that makes the job than what I manage to complete. Maybe I'm just weird... Actually, don't answer that :-)
The other factor is the pace - or perhaps my impression of what the pace may be. From down here in the trenches, it seems all rather high powered. It's also change; I know I can do what I do now. This new role will be away from hands-on to something slightly more remote and communication orientated. Funny, because I can talk - and write - for England. I enjoy giving presentations or teaching people how to do stuff. Hell, maybe I missed my vocation: "Smith, take those heels off until you can walk properly in them.... Now, off to Maths, there's a good lad." :-)
So I'm in a bit of a quandary at the mo. Possibly, I should apply when the chance arrises and if I don't get an interview, or fluff the one I could get, it wasn't meant to be. I can always comfort myself with a spot of shopping :-)
I think it's now, now that I've a family of my own, that I sit back and think: is work now just something to pay the bills? Does any of it really matter compared to what happens in my own time? Then I look at what I'm doing now and wonder if it'll last me until I retire. Maybe the time to jump is now. Ahh, to see one's future or not eh? :-)
And on that note, take care,
[ Today's lyric: The Right Decision by Jesus Jones ]
Friday, January 16, 2009
It's a slow news week this week, but that's not always a bad thing is it? I don't know about you, but I can't be bothered with too much drama. It's just so tiring. :-)
Earlier in the week I was talking with a friend who's single again. No, he's not a tranny as far as I know, so we can't blame the break-up on that. But that got me a thinkin' around the whole TG + relationship business.
Some of us are open from day one and tell all. Some of us don't, perhaps hoping that we'd never need to tell or that maybe it'd stop by itself. For some, perhaps it does. For me - and possibly you if you're reading this - it may not have :-) So I wonder, is there ever a good time to tell your partner? How soon is too soon? For those of you not in a relationship, is being TG stopping you from finding someone?
Please forgive my curiosity, but I've only my own experiences to go on. I didn't tell the future Mrs Jones. Well, that's not strictly true....
if I've said this elsewhere, feel free to skip to the next blog :-)
... as when we met, I do recall saying it was something I'd done in the past. She was cool with that. We were young and at the time, it was true. I hadn't given up, but I'd stopped. As I've said elsewhere, there's a big difference. Giving up, well, that's fine: you're ready to pack it in and do something else with your time.
But stopping? Ahhh. A different kettle of ballgames to be sure. :-) That's you drawing a line in the sand (Ed: how many cliches are you going to squeeze in here?) and making yourself quit..... Even though I'd 'stopped' I still thought about it. I suppose in a world where half the population is dressed in clothes you feel more affinity to - at least on a part time basis - cold turkey's going to be tough.
I think I managed a couple of years before I resumed old habits. I threw myself into my job and other hobbies, but it was always there. Perhaps more accurately, I was always there because this is who I am. Not the guy with the books, CDs and a motorbike (Ed: such a cliche!) but instead a guy who likes to express his female side once in a while. A guy who's happier playing with the kids than watching footy or who'd rather shop than go down the pub with the lads.
When did I tell the ever lovely Mrs Jones? Just over 10 years ago. I won't share the details with you. It did alter our relationship. How could it not? I felt such a sh** for doing so, yet I knew that if I didn't deal with the pressure inside of me: something would go very wrong. I think a lot of us have been there - perhaps some of you are going through this right now.... and I include partners in this. It's not easy from either side of the fence. Trouble aside, we got through it somehow. Taking things slowly and talking about it as best we could. It can't have been easy for her and I'm eternally grateful that we are still together. I didn't want my crossdressing to come between us, although I knew that to stay sane - which sounds melodramatic, but any tranny (and a partner or two) who's 'bottled it' will know what I'm talking about - things couldn't stay as they were.
Where am I headed with all of this? Not a clue.... as ever. :-) What I will say is if you thinking about coming out, take it slowly and do it at home. It's likely to be an emotional event for both of you and a resturant is not the place for little secrets. :-)
[ Today's lyric: Teardrop by Massive Attack ]
Friday, January 09, 2009
W'sup? :) Brrr. It's been a bit cold here in dear old Blighty hasn't it? The tempreature has barely made it past 5 degrees most days. For the UK, that's rather cold.... then I see the weather for Canada or Iceland and I'm glad of where I live :-)
The week's been a little odd. With the rush of Christmas and the seemingly long slog through winter to *ahem* look foward to, my mind's a bit of a muddle. It started just after New Year's Day, a kind of grey fog where I kinda lost interest in just about everything. Well, almost everything. Perhaps it was because I was feeling a bit down, my tranny circuits went into overdrive. I started thinking about things I'd agreed not to do: shaving my legs or having my ears pierced. Perhaps they were just silly daydreams: designed to provoke me out of the cloud I was under. I'm a dreamer what can I say. Maybe I'd rather spend my time pondering the pointless than concentrate on the hear and now eh? :-)
But, the brief blip of darkness passed. I did neither and I'm glad I didn't. To do so would adversly affect my home life and if I'm honest - with myself and you too - I spend more time in bloke mode than anything else. To push the envelope to bare legs and pierced ears would I think be too much for the ever lovely Mrs Jones. That clearly wouldn't be right.
I could also do with all the insulation I can get right now. :) That schoolyard and the walk to work is bloomin' cold. I was digging out my opaques the other day just to keep another layer on. (Ed: Yeah, right. Whatever you say). Earlier in the year I was reading about fashion tights, strictly from a tranny POV, only to find a website (which typically I failed to bookmark) that covered the tips and traps of hoistey for gents. A quick rummage through Google, shows quite a few manufactures flogging their wares as us menfolk. I'm not sure I'm ready to sport a bright red pair to work instead of socks. To me, somethings just remain female clothing. Oh the irony eh? :)
[ Today's lyric: The Loving Kind by Girls Aloud ]
Friday, January 02, 2009
Did you have a very merry Christmas? I hope so. Mine was excellent thanks. New Year's was nice and quiet but that's not a bad thing after the paper shredding and food snaffling frenzy that was Christmas week.... and that was just the adults (Ed: Ba-boom tsssh).
I've started and restarted this post a few times. I had considered doing the traditional review of the year, but I won't. Mainly because it would involve trawling through the news or sitting trying to remember what TG stuff has happened and other folk have done it better (just check the blog roll :-P ). Instead, just close your eyes and think of something that made your year special to you. Never mind what the rest of the world did. If you feel like sharing, all tales gratefully received.
Me? Well, it wasn't the LBD or cute shoes I got in the spring sale, instead what did it for me was passing a long term qualification.... but that's just floss. What really mattered and what made my year was my son's continual zeal for life, my baby daughter raising her arms up shouting 'dadda' when I came home one day, Mrs Jones' courage to switch jobs and lastly, this blog's birthday.
That's me done, just a chance for me to say I hope 2009 is kind to you all. Welcome to the future. :-)
[ Today's lyric: Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads ]