Saturday, June 14, 2008

"There's something in the way that you're talking,
The words don't sound right."

Hi folks,

It's been strange coming home to dear old Blighty (Ed: That'd be 'England' to you non-natives). The holiday was great: lots of relaxation and family time together. No need to rush out to work or panic over getting the kids ready for bed. No school-work to plough through and bedtime stories could go on and on. Just plenty of warm sunny days lazing in the pool or around the coast. We should do it more often.

Perhaps then that when I came home and read my email, the following took me by surprise. Well, actually, not completely surprise (stay with me, I'll get to the point in a mo), but I'd hoped (Ed: she means 'prayed' but she won't say it) that this wouldn't happen. A good friend of mine, Daphne, took her own life on May 12th. Weeks before, we talked about the difficulties she faced at home (bullying from someone in her local village, lack of a job and the problems in her selling her house) and you know how it is, you do your best to listen, to be a good friend and help where you can.

One Thursday there was just her and myself talking, everyone had yet to arrive. We had a good heart to heart and I said to her: "No matter how bad it gets, please don't do yourself in. We need good souls like you in the world." Daphne said that she'd walk away before she did anything like that. I took her at her word.

A few weeks later and she kindly gave me a bracelet. A lovely silver one made up of bright silver squares. "Something to remember me by," she joked - her eyes alive with her usual humour. We talked about the usual stuff and parted company. That was the last I saw of her.

Daphne was a kind soul. Someone of great intelligence, understanding and humour. She had many stories to tell (the one about the missile base - yes, really!! - still makes me laugh) and.... and I don't know what else to put. I only saw her at group meetings but we'd always gravitate towards each other. Partners in crime if you will. I - like the rest of the group - will miss her.

It's funny, if she'd moved away and I'd never seen her again, that would be okay in someway. I'd know that she was still around and (hopefully) enjoying whatever she was doing. With death, well, unless there is an afterlife, I know I won't see her again.

Perhaps it's melodramatic, but the world seems less bright withour her.

RIP D.

[ Today's lyric: Fall At Your Feet by Crowded House ]

5 comments:

  1. Hi Lynn

    Looking back i think Daphne was putting her house in order for quite a few weeks. I was given the little man to look after who whispers sweet nothings to you when you press his hand.

    Should we have seen the signs could we have done anything to prevent this, I dont believe so.

    Daphne had a lot of friends at chams and received and also gave a lot of support.

    its oh so sad.

    sandi

    xx

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  2. I can't find the words for this, it's too big and too complicated and too upsetting.

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  3. Lynn,
    I'm sorry for your loss. I know that words aren't much help when someone you care about is no longer around. But just know that someone across the Atlantic is thinking about you, and those who were dear to Daphne.

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  4. Sandi > Maybe we should have seen, but perhaps we didn't want to think things were that bad. Certainly Daph was far from alright, but I never thought she'd take her own life. From what she'd said to me, I got the impression she was sorting the house out in order to move... I guess not :(

    Penny > Ironic that bloggers can't find anything to say. It is awful.

    Vanessa > Thanks, chuck. It's her family (parent actually) and other friends that I feel for.

    I'm hopeful something positive will come from all of this. Maybe others will come forward when they feel that low. Who can say.

    Thank you all for your kind words and memories.

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  5. Hi Lynn

    I think we all though Daphne was clearing out in readiness to move, she probably was, what we dont know is what tipped her over the edge. We probably never will.

    Its the good memories that bring a smile to your face at times like this, your blog is like a history of chams for me and i was reading back to the 06 christmas party at the sausage, with the Three degrees and daphne in bob mode singing lady in red. I think you did a turn or two/three as well. Made me smile and bought a tear to my eyes again. We had our moments over the years, but she was a friend. nuff said.

    take care sandi

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