Sunday, April 29, 2007

When shall we 12 meet again?

Hey,

Good weekend? I hope so. Fabby weather!

AGM

Last week's meeting was a bit different. We had an Annual General Meeting. You can tell it was important because it had capital letters (Ed: English is just an nationality to you, isn't it Lynn?). Anyhoo, it went rather well (IMO). I had a bit of a wardrobe dilema over what to wear. In the end, I went for my hippy skirt (brown + tie dye), a biscuit coloured top, the usual fishnets (not back on to plain yet) and my favourite heels (not sure about flats yet). Someone said I looked like a secretary, which made me laugh! Maybe I'll take a photo in to the admin team at work and swap ideas. :-)

We had a full house with many of the usual suspects and regular irregulars coming along. The meeting kicked off around 8.30ish and there was a very good spread provided. For my sins, I had volunteered to take the minutes while Paula was - ahhh - chairwoman. The minutes are on the Chameleons' forum if you're really interested (see side panel for a link and then select the forum option).

Midway through we broke for nibbles and to sip some Bucks Fizz. Somehow, I ended up being bottle opener as most folk didn't seem to like the sudden cork popping. Hint: twist it slowly and it won't shoot off. :)

The group discussed a number of matters cooly and calmly (s that a word? Ah well!). So, the subs are up to 3 quid 50 (no biggie), we have some more volunteers to do the admin tasks (like tidying up, making tea, web design, etc) which can only be a good thing.

The group has been running for nearly 25 years which I think is very impressive. Although it would be very hard, it would make a fascinating documentary / book on who attended the group and where their life has taken them since.

Jane had even kept the minutes from the last meeting - way back in 1988! Wow, 1988. I was a teenager back then. While I knew I was a tranny, I was cool about it at that point. It didn't start freaking me out until a year or two later. But, enough about me, what were you doing in '88?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

"Falsehood is easy, truth so difficult."

Hi kids,

No lyric today, although to be honest The Smiths or The Manic Street Preachers could have provided suitable material. Today's title is from Mary Ann Evans, or to use her homme name [wink], George Elliot. Hmmm, a guy pretending to be a woman quoting a female author with a male pen name. Coo, post-modern eh? :-) Don't be fooling into thinking I'm well read - I'm just quick with a search engine.

I don't know what I find interesting about quotes or sound bites (to use a modern term). Perhaps it's the joy of language. Talking of which, a couple of posts ago I had a bit of cod Polari and after leafing through a few sites on the subject, I was surprised to see how much of it had entered mainstream language.

The Truth

Secrets and lies, they're funny things. In some ways a well kept secret can be a good thing. There are bits of information you pick up about people that you really cannot pass on. Real cross-your-heart stuff and no, I don't mean the bra range.

But, I digress. The truth? Or more accurately, the truth about being TG. Would what it be like to be out? Oh You Tee - OUT. Not in an in-your-face Sparkle t-shirt at work or wearing lippy when picking the kids up from school, but more a 'no more secrets' kinda way? Complete openness with your wife/GF and honesty with your friends. Would that be a good thing for the TG community and your own feelings, or is it just the selfish need to fob the guilt on to a third party? What price would you pay for your honesty and what benefits would outweigh the risks?

Of course, being in the closet is a tranny luxury. Our TS sisters, don't get that choice. Even if you can pull off 'deep stealth' there's a time when you're still finding your feet, a time before you perfect who you are.

Monday, April 23, 2007

"Anger is an energy."

Yesterday I felt rage. All day I could feel it building, simmering underneath the social veneer like an animal pacing against the bars of a cage. I don't like to be angry, it's not good for me. You say things you don't really mean and everyone gets hurt. I like calm; you can think things through rather than blurting out the first thing that roars from your subconscious.

It wasn't anything anyone had said to me, nor something I had or hadn't done. Just a combination of little events that when coupled together built into something less than pleasant. No, actually that's not really true. If I'm honest, I was angry because I couldn't help H. She was ill and she's had a hard run of it of late. I wanted things to go her way; wanted her to be well, not clapped out knackered and run down. But you can't will someone well can you? God knows I wanted that for my (late) sister, but that's not how the world works is it. Boy, am I not just a little ray of sunshine or what? :-)

I am now back to being calm. Calmed by the knowledge that H is going to be alright and that her condition will improve.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

True's Grit

So were you glued to the box Tuesday night watching Leia, Kim and Sue try their hardest for the big pagent? If you missed it, maybe 4OD can help you out. I won't spoil the ending. What I will say is that the programme is more - and forgive the cliche - about the journey rather than the destination. To be honest, I found the pagent thing a little weird and if it's anything like Miss World is now, there's a lot more politics involved.

The start of the programme on 'being a TV' if you will, was (IMO) very good. It rang a few bells with me and I found myself nodding in agreement to some of the soundbites that were picked out. "A bloke 99.9% of the time" was one that stuck with me. For me at least, and if you feel different - please say otherwise, that's true. I spend the majority of my life in bloke mode and I'm cool with that. Sure, it's nice to go out and be glam, but it's *such* a lot of effort. I don't just mean the dressing up part, there's the secrecy, staying trim and the continual battle against your inner wolfman (Ed: she doesn't mean not biting people). Honestly, I like being a bloke. You get paid more for starters and there's no shame in being ballsy or go-getting. Double standards eh ladies? Then there's all those fab gadgets to play with: cars, computers, sporting equipment, hi-fi's, etc. :-)

Flippancy aside, the closing segment of the programme was very poinyant. Leia came out to her mum and another entrant was saying she hadn't seen her parents for over 4 years. All this woman wanted was the acceptance and love of her mother. Both scenes were very moving albeit in different ways. Does this explain the tranny love of blogging, forums and photos? While there is an element of vanity and ego, ultimately is it acceptance not attention that we crave? If we cannot find acceptance within our family, does a web page or blog fill that void? Does the acceptance from our peers outweight the risk of being found out? Ahhh, questions, questions eh?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Queen of the Midlands

The Merry Men

The bona bijou City of Nottingham is packed with omi-polone and beancoves? I couldn't believe my orbs! [BTW, apologies for the ropey Polari]

I got this link from Penny's blog (Idle Thoughts, Furious Musings). It's about Nottingham being the 7th Most Gay City in England & Wales.

How gay our celtic cousins are, I'm not sure. Let's think: the national dress that shows off manly legs, they're nation of hardmen, like a good time and going out seems a national pastime. Nah.... :-) But what would I know, I'm only a bit Scots. (Ed: but which bit?)

Anyhoo - Gay Nottingham? I must confess it makes me feel a little bit cosmopolitan! I'd like to think that the good people of Nottingham (pronouned Not-ing-um) are fairly accepting. There's the occasional whiff of bigotry, but then you get that everywhere. The city is packed with young folk mainly due to the two universities and possibly, that explains matters. I'm not a guru on gay life in Nottm, so please forgive my ignorance. I know there are a few clubs and bars in town, but we're along way from Canal Street.

Still, if there's a reasonably sized community, hopefully there's a bit of a support network too. I know a young lad at one place I used to work really struggled coming to terms with it. Some of the things he said rang a few bells. Secrecy, wanting to conform and the 'am I normal?' bit too. 

Robina Hood?

Oh and it's NC tonight, so no doubt I'll be pondering what to wear when I should be thinking about work. Hmmm.... maybe thigh boots, a stout pair of hose and a tunic :-D

Saturday, April 07, 2007

"Your girlfriends they can't understand
Your grandsons they won't understand"

Evening all,

Pop Pickers

In some ways, trannys are much like indie bands. Some indie bands arrive on the scene, do a few gigs and disappear. You wonder where they went and what they're up to now. Perhaps the everyday struggle against the daily grind wears them down and they simply give up. Occasionally bands will re-surface with a slightly different line-up, but you know you've heard these guys before.

The odd few may persevere and make the jump into the mainstream; shifting from My Space to the Big Leagues. Media appearances aren't unknown and other indie bands may be looking up to them for inspiration (or if they're ego-centric, knock them down).

A rarer few will shift sound completely and transition to a different musical state. Of those, some will never loose their indie roots, while others will leave them far behind, now concentrating on moving on with their life.

Change is Constant


So why the previous vignette? This week I've seen a few TG folk slip from the radar and others shift from TV to TS. Jo is taking a break from blogging about her life. Connie has decided to ease up on the TG lifestyle and find where she fits in the grand scheme of things. At some point you do have to switch off and take stock. I can dig that. On the other side of the coin, Chrissy's taking a different path altogether. I wish them all good luck.

Friday, April 06, 2007

"But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same."

Hi peeps,

Ahhh, the Easter break is upon us. Traffic and DIY shop chaos will ensure no doubt, but hey, it's a few days away from you-know-what isn't it. With a bit of luck, the weather will be good too.

Brownfield

Earlier in the week I ended up in a bit of town that I used to live it. The place had gone development mad! A new road system and the builders are... ummm... building on just about every plot of land they can lay their hands on. Shops, petrol stations, pubs, houses with big gardens - they've all gone to be replaced with those new town houses. Or, as my Dad likes to call them: 'flats'.

They are, of course, a small fortune, so I wonder who's buying them? Not first time buyers I'd have thought. I keep hearing folk say 'Ah, but property is always a sure thing'. Hmmm. Remember 1990?

Technology Empowers

I stumbled on to a link for Dirtside Atomic. It's a sci-fi action web-film featuring folk from our little community (some you may know). I've only had a cursory glance, but it's very impressive. In one way, it's fantastic to see what people can do armed with a few props, some computer gadgetry, some fabby outfits and their imagination.

No T-news?

Yeah, it's been a kinda funny few weeks really. Having been away from home and the foot-to-the-floor return to work, there's been little chance for any trannying. I'm beginning to get that itch (Ed: you can get a cream for that) where I want to go out, kick back and relax. Still, it's the social next week, so something else to look forward to!