Saturday, July 21, 2007

"I said never again but here we are"

Hey hey true believers,

Unusually for me I missed my personal deadline of a Friday night post. It's silly really, but I like to empty my head of the chaff that's been floating around during the week ready for the weekend. Anyway, that wasn't going to happen (yesterday) because I just didn't get my sh** together.

My mood has been up and down these last few weeks. I can't quite put my finger on it, but the weather certainly isn't helping. Normally there are lots of things you can do - family wise that is - in the pleasant Summer months before the season turns and it's brollies and wellies for most outside activities.

Anyhoo, today I'd had enough and Wee Man and I headed out to the park in waterproofs. He's progressed to a proper bike and he rattles along the flooded paths, stabilisers throwing out more water than a packet of cheap bacon. I was well impressed and if I'm honest, it broke the black cloud I've been lumbering under.

Other than a few die-hard dog walkers, the place was empty, a complete turn-around on last week's sun packed family fun day. I must confess we both got thoroughly soaked, but it was worth it. We also found a bramble patch and with a spare poly bag from my pocket, we managed a few summer fruits for teatime. Good times indeed.

Chams will be on again this week and although there may be some friction in me going, but I wonder if it'll help me calm down a bit and get back to planet normal (Ed: oh the irony!). I missed last time's do simply because I was trying to prove to myself that I didn't need to go (en femme or bloke mode). That was complete tosh and all I achieved in not going was making myself feel miserable. Is this what it's like for normal men when they don't get to go down the pubs with their mates? Ah, but why would they be reading this when they could be down the pub? :-)

I've also been indulging in classic avoidance activity. Playing computer games, hanging out in Joe Public forums, toying with my firewall settings (geek!) and learning about SSH. Anything it seems than concentrate on work related issues or trying to get my head straight. I am, if nothing else, a dreamer and an escapist. Still, it's good to dream. It lets us escape from the world from time to time. The cold logic in my head says I should be doing something with my time, but my heart says no (Ed: Is that a Xtina lyric?). Knickers to it anyway, it's Saturday night.

Roll on Thursday and a night out with the girls.

ps: There's a new link on the blogroll panel. This is to Helena's blog, Girl from Mars. I've posted before about Helena's snaps of the capital and today I stumbled on to her blog. Well worth a read.

[ Today's lyric is from Rachel Stevens' punchy pop ditty. ]

5 comments:

  1. We're all such complex creatures, plagued by self doubts. I see alot of myself in what you write. The best way of getting outside myself is to focus on someone else. And children don't let you stay inside yourself long. My own Wee man is already a young man, so I don't have him to save me in that same special way. Still he's quite helpful for taking my mind off me.
    I think I would prefer if all aspects of me fell into neat little containers, each with a nice label (and a locking lid) Instead I get this sloppy collage with bits and pieces pulled out here and there. Work is a great distraction, if you enjoy what you do. Why do you think I've been on vacation at my own blog? LOL.
    The problem with announcing never again is it's built in to fail. I thought I learned this, but I still make such announcements to myself over and over. I sympathize with what you're feeling Lynn. It will pass, just like bad weather, as I'm sure you know. Just keep the brolley handy. :-)

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  2. Hi Lynn

    See you Thursday - bring and buy and Mary from the Body shop is coming along with some sale items, so should be a good night.

    Take care and cheer up.

    sandi

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  3. Emma,

    > the problem with announcing
    > never again is...

    Which is kinda why I used the lyric in the title. It is, as you say, a rather tedious exercise because most of us know, that kind of flat denial just doesn't work. It's grade A self-denial and is totally transitory.

    Sandi,

    Another bring & buy? Cool. I'll have a rummage thru my wardrobe and see what I no longer wear / no longer fits.

    I'll even try and cheer up a bit! :)

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  4. I may make it my Chams virgin entrance, but don't bank on it - life is very complicated right now... in a very tedious way. :)

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  5. Well unless you were exceptionall well disguised, I'm guessing you didn't make it. There's always next month tho!

    Sorry to hear life's a bit of a pain right now.

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