Friday, February 09, 2007

'I can see it in my own reflection,
Something funny's going on inside my mind'

Hey everyone,

How's life? Well I hope.

I'm slacking. I've sloped off from the office to hide out in the Staff kitchen. No email client. The mobile's on silent and my desk telephone is switched to voicemail. Just me, the lapop and a cup of herbal tea. Yeah, it's sooo rock and roll eh? I know I should really be doing some work right now, but honestly, I really don't give a monkey's. I guess it's a bit like stuffing your face full of cake. Deep down you know that the consequence is that you're not going to be able to fit in your kegs (translation: trousers) but at the time you just want cake. So it is with slacking. Still, like cake, slacking - in moderation - can be just what the doctor ordered. Well, unless you've got a Diet Doctor, but lets not go down that route eh?

Quiz of the week

I went out last night to NC and it felt good to be out and have a chat about complete and utter nonsense. Now, I don't mean that in a catty way. Moreover, you spend a lot of time at work (noticing a trend here Sherlock?) being serious and it's great to kick back and be yourself. Talk about inane things, last night's telly or swap silly stories with your friends. I also was welcomed with a hug from Daphne - which was unexpected but very nice.

Possibly the threat of snow kept a few people away, but the faithful (a.k.a the unusual suspects) made it through. We did the quiz and that seemed to go okay. It's very hard to judge the difficult of quiz that you've written. Clearly because you know the answers! :-) Maddie was the winner - enjoy your bottle of wine m'dear - with a score in the early 30s.

Maybe I should try and post it somewhere (if I had the javascript skills) and you could have a go at it. I wonder if you can upload files to Blogger? Hmmm...

Rise of the Machines

(BTW, those of you who don't follow technology, feel free to skip on the next section. But then I have to ask, why are you reading a blog? Ack. Go figure).

Earlier in the week I've noticed a few of those Mac vs PC adverts popping up around town. I'm not a dyed-in-the-wool PC user, if the system works then it's good enough for you. I really don't give a sh** if you've running Linux, Mac, BeOS, BSD or Windows. Actually, not totally true, I personally can't stand Windows 98, but that's only because I've had to fix the damned thing one too many times because it's just... pants. But in the main, things in most operating systems have moved on.

So what bugs me about the Mac ads? I think it's the smugness of some of them - the ads, not the community - to be honest. I think it's very easy to throw stones at a large target like Windows. Given the OS monoculture that we seem to be sailing towards, as a hacker, you'd be daft to spend your time targetting a niche computing platform (3% market share I hear) when there's a much bigger - and frequently easier - target for you to attack. With high speed Internet connectivity, your novice computer user has a lot to take in to protect themselves. I guess it's a bit like learning to drive in a warzone. :-) Sure, there are numerically less threats for Linux and Mac systems, but there are exploits out there. With Linux being the platform of choice for web systems, threats have risen because it is worth targetting that system.

Earlier last year, I attended a MS conference when they were unveiling Vista. "It's got a new an improved firewall," gushed the marketting droid. Right, so are we saying then that your OS is so open to attacks that machines on a corporate network have to be protected at all times? Hmmm.... that fills me with confidence. Still, provided it runs FireFox, I'll be happy :-)

On another note, I wonder how many spoof adverts there are out there? Has anyone posted '5,128* more applications and games on a PC', 'Works with your enterprise mail system', or '97% market share of hardware sales''? :-D Now, I'm not knocking Macs, they work and they're easy to use. What's not to like? What does bug me are the ads. No doubt one of the big wigs will see this and decide that he wants one. Come Monday morning the email will read along the lines of 'why can't I run the CRM and Core Finance apps on my machine?'. Well....sir... it's because you bought a Mac and those apps are designed for Windows. Still, there's always VMware if you want to slum it with the rest of us.

Perhaps the truth of it is that secretly I know I'm backing the wrong team. The Mac crowd are right and I'm heading down the VHS route rather than Betamax's Quality Street. 

[ * What did Vic Reeves say about statistics being made up on the spot? :-) ]

Hello Clarice....

This week's Real magazine has an article on the mind of a serial killer. I don't know if they were short of text on fashion or recipies, but it makes a change. The more I read it the more I began to wonder if I was a serial killer rather than a tranny.
"Dr Wilson says: 'Strangely, a common trait with serial killers is vanity. They tend to have a lot of mirrors in their homes and wear a toupee. They may have a website or a blog and are very concerned with their image and appearance.'"
Okay. Feeling slightly freaked out now. Let's just go down the list a bit more:

1. Large number of mirrors in the house / tend to be vain

Busted.

2. Keeps souvenirs to remind themselves of past exploits.

Hmm.... large number of photos and blog posts.

3. Everything tends to kick off about 25....

Hmmm... well, I have earlier memories, but my late 20s was when it all came to a head. I could no longer deny to myself that I want to dress up.

4. Frequently inhabit a fantasy world.

lol. Thinking about what you're going to wear to the next do, or when you could go out shopping..... Hmmm... Second Life... CounterStrike.... Isn't this most men? :-)

5. They just *love* chianti, liver and onions.

Okay, I made this one up. It's only liver and onions if they're a working class serial killer... For the middle class, it's fava beans (but only if they come from Sainsbury's).

6. You can live with one for years and never know.

Check.

Clearly most t-girls are a toupee away from a killing spree. So what have we learned from this? Well, if Becky's post about offers from admirers is anything to go by: admirers, you're only a few emails away from a shallow grave.

Sleep tight.... oh, and don't have nightmares. :-) 

7 comments:

  1. I'm a closet serial killer... I just hide it by wearing skirts and stuff. One day I'll kick that closet door open and it'll be slash, slash, all the way to the asylum...
    Oh, and I did learn to drive in a warzone. Not recommended!
    Betcha can't guess how fast a VW Polo can go when people are shooting at it... Ask me nicely, I'll tell you about it.

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  2. You know, it's a good job neither of us posting these comments pre-Xmas :-)

    VW polo? I'd say 0 to brown trousers in 12.6 seconds.... but you've piqued my interest. Where were you learning to drive? I'm guessing it wasn't St Anns.

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  3. OK, definite check on 1-4 and 6... ...should I be worried?

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  4. [lol] Maybe Jessica. But not as worried as anyone who may cross you in the office should be. :-)

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  5. I'm quite worried myself now.
    1 Guilty as charged
    2 Got me there too, sentimentalist that I am (or should that be mentalist?)
    3 Hmm. Now you mention it Maddie did start to dig her heels in about then
    4 Not so much frequently as permanantly
    5 Don't know about fava beans but I do quite like aduki beans, do they count?
    6 Oh my. I'm going to hell aren't I?

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  6. I like liver and onions too... and so does my son....
    We're starting a company.
    "Slash And Rip"
    We're gonna go far...

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  7. Maddie > Aduki beans? WTF? :)
    If 6 is true, well, you may a well live a little and take a few folk with you.....

    Chrissy > Heh. Son of Sam perhaps?

    How about: Bread and Gut her?

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