Friday, December 29, 2006

'Misfit, I sit. Lit up, wicked...'

Hello everyone in blogworld,

Hi folks. Did you have a good Christmas? I hope Santa brought you something nice in return for the sherry and mince pie you left out. Christmas was very good with various visits to the rellies and probably a little too much cake. Ahh, tis the season and all that. I guess it'll be celery sticks and salads in the new year.

With all the socials and parties I've been to, I think I must have been out (en femme) more than I ever have before. The thing is, it is rather addictive. There is were I begin to worry a little. Is it that I'm a simply a tranny and going out is just pure fun? No work stress, obligations or ties? Just being fabulous in fancy shoes, having a natter with the girls and being able to scratch the itch that dressing up allows you to do? Or - and more worryingly - am I becoming more at home presenting myself as a female? Am I relaxed because I feel 'right' or because being dressed ticks the box in my head that reads 'good times'? I have a wonderful wife and a lovely son. I think I would lose both of those if I went down the full-time path. Deep down, it's something I do not want to do and I fear it. What really worries me though, is do I get any choice in the matter? Being a tranny isn't optional - once your brain is wired that way, to fight it only leads to trouble (self-loathing, purging, guilt or depression). I guess my question is: how far will things go? As far as I want? Until I am happy? What about those I love? Must I chose this over them? Questions, questions. I am hopeful that it will not come to that.

Take care.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Karoke Queens

I'm looking at an empty copy of Notepad at the mo; waiting for the creative juices to kick in. Sometimes looking at a word processor is just too much. I don't know about you, but it all seems too formal. A report for work, a letter to the 'leccy board? No problem in Word or OpenOffice! But ask me to do something like this and...bbbzztt... disnae work.

So, what's been going off this week?

Xmas Fuddle

This week saw the last meeting for the Chams group. Rather than go for the traditional sarnies and mince pies, we went straight for the puddings. Why is it that all the bad things in life are so good? Can smack really be better than Xmas pud and a dollop of double cream? Actually, don't answer that. Then again if it was TrainSpotting would have been a very different film. ("Choose cake. Choose a mars bar. Choose not being able to get into your new skirt and wish you'd bought industrial strength MagicKnickers." :-)

I wore my new red skirt, brown fishnets, biscuit coloured top and my new shoes. God, I *love* those shoes. I know it's not right, but they're just so darned cute! Sorry, no piccies as the camera batteries were flat, clearly I'm not a person that quite grasps the idea of digital cameras needing batteries. In my day all you had to do was point and click! But then how many of us t-girls would be brave enough to drop the film off at Boots and collect the next day? Ahhh, therein lies the rub.

Anyhoo, (back on topic) the do was pretty good we had a visit from Tina's friend, ?????, our tranny friendly make-up rep. We also had some new folk come along. (Hi Zoe and Isobell if you're reading this). They'd certainly made the trek up to Nottm and I hope they enjoyed the night. Zoe said that she recognised my from my blog picture which gave me an ego moment. "It's like meeting someone famous," she quipped and we laughed about it. Is this what it's like for the other bloggers out there? Answers on a postcard (or blogger comments) if you like.

Mum's the word

Talking of new people coming along, I finally got around to replying to an email from a good friend of mine (Hi Maddie!) and she reminded me about the time a mother and son came along to the group. He was in his teens, so I hear and I was really impressed that his mum did that for him. As Maddie rightly said, it is not something that many people would do. If they come again, I think the conversation would be fascinating... doubley so if they do most of the talking.

LBD

Sandi had kindly brought along some little black dresses - and let's face it, what girl (or t-girl), doesn't want to wear a posh frock once in a while. There was this gorge number from Planet that I had the good fortune to try on. It felt great on, although my bra was showing on the shoulders and at the waterfall back. Classy... not. :-) So, the fool that I am, I turned it down. There's nothing wrong with a bit of glamour, I must say I did feel a bit Shirely Bassey in it (which bit of Shirl I will not say), but when would be able to wear it? It was too nice to wear while doing the hoovering and a certainly too much for any time outside of a) cocktail party, b) tranny xmas do or c) Bond film. ("Ah, Miss Jones, I've been expecting you". I tell you, they must be really hard up for Bond girls ).

Outed by waving?

During the evening of chit-chat Daphne recounted the time she was on her way to the LiverSausage. I was on the other side of the street in bloke mode. I called across to her to say hi and she said that she didn't recognise me until I waved. Clearly, I must have a very distinctive waving method (well, it amused me!). While there's a piccy of me on the blog (which worries me a little) is not as much a give away as my wave is.

Talking of the pub, I wonder if I can wangle another night out so soon? More to the point will they have Karoke and will I be able to embarass myself and entertain others at the same time? Questions, questions.

Final Countdown

More than a cheesy rock number (which would be sooo cool to do at Karoke) but Xmas is almost upon us. Have you done all your shopping yet? After that it's the seemingly endless wrapping to do. Still, it is worth it to see a look of joy on your friend's / partner's / child's face as the open up the gift. Have you bought anything that you're really chuffed with or is there anything you'd really like for Xmas?

BTW - just to let you know, I'm not offering to buy you owt - sorry, anything.

Take care!

 

Friday, December 08, 2006

A slight case of overshopping...

Hi everyone,

How's your week been? Not too stressful I hope.

Shop, shop, shoppity-shop

I had the day off today to get the rest of the Xmas shopping out of the way. My feet hurt (but more on that later). Besides the usual Christmas prezzies of chocolate, books and CDs, I had a wander around to find something more interesting for H. I got her a number of items which will (hopefully) bring a smile.

Once I'd got H's and Wee Man's presents out of the way - and dropped them off at the car - I went back to see what else might be about. I bought some Lipfinity because my lippy just doesn't last the night. A big thanks to the young lady in Boots who fielded all my questions. I also got around to (finally) getting a new bra. After trying on six (!!) I got the right fit. What a chore that was. Still, this new one takes my breastforms* and gives a bit more shape than my old one. Sadly, they only had that size in white. So, I still need a black bra. Ho hum!

[ * Breatforms? Well, chickenfillets to be accurate. Any girls new to the dressing up game? Well, two pairs of chicken fillets (Debenhams, La Senza, etc) may suit your needs. But, your mileage may vary. ]

I also dropped off a bag of old clothes to a local charity shop. Only to find two rather nice skirts in. One was a casual brown/black affair with a tie-dye pattern. The other more formal in deep red and twisted seams. Ack, that's a poor description. Perhaps I need a photo! Anyhoo, on the way to the counter, I spotted the handbags. Ahh! My luck was in as I spotted a bag I'd been after for a while. Okay, while the fashion may be in for big chunky bags, I have a soft spot for the cute little rucksack thingies that were in a while ago. So, I got one of those too! :) Ahh, money to charity and a bargain for me. What's not to like? :)

Later on, while looking for a few more things for H, I popped into New Look. They had some of the most fabby shoes in. I was in bloke mode, so trying them on didn't seem a good idea. Maybe one day, I'll brave Nottingham High Street en femme. Still, if you pay cash, you can always nip into a department store's changing room and try them on without prying eyes. One pair didn't fit (leather with that wood effect heel) but the 40 style ones did... and they were comfy to walk in (well, as much as you can in a changing room booth).

Bigot Du Jour

Well, that was me done. On the way back to the car, I popped into the tight shop in the Broadmarsh. I picked up some new fishnets - I'd laddered the last pair getting into the car (rats!). They do some very scary patterns (fashion huh?) although if you want anything a beyond what the supermarket / SuperDrug sell, it's a good place to go. Anyhoo, I could find 'medium' but no large. I asked if they did and the lady behind the counter asked if they were for me. I said yes and she said that they'd probably be okay. They get a lot of men coming in at this time of year for fancy dress (yeah, right!). "Oh, we get some of *those* people in too," cooed the assistant. Hmmm... a bit too much emphasis / distain on the 'those' for my liking. I tried my best poker face: Oh, all the usual nutters," she added. For a mo, I considered saying, "Trannys you mean? Yeah, the girls and I from Nuthall a frequent visitors. We probably account to a large proportion of your trade. But, if we're nutters, we could go elsewhere if you'd like." Of course, I didn't. Being British, I made some weak line about "well, it would be dull if we were all the same."

In and Out

By the time I got home it was dark. Strangly, that's one of the things I like about winter. There's something rather magical about the run up to Christmas. Cold nights, but being tucked up warm at home. I looked at the clock. Enough time to try some of my new clothes and test drive my shoes before getting cleaned up and be ready for H and Wee Man coming back. What a great ending to the week.

Have a good weekend!
Lynn
x

Friday, December 01, 2006

I'm walking on sunshine

Surprise Treat

This weekend H and I popped into town to get some of the Christmas shopping out of the way. I don't know about the rest of you, but when you both work full time, Xmas shopping can be a bit of a panic. Luckily, someone invented the Internet and it's now a lot easier. Plus, if you don't want to wait, it seems a lot of shops will let you reserver and pick up the goods when you drop in. Instant prezzies and very little queueing. Good stuff indeed.

Once we'd got most of the presents out of the way, H stopped off to look at the shoes. She got some fabby new heels and some new tops. While we were having a coffee, she asked if I'd like anything. I said I was fine for shirts and whatnot (which was true). She took my hand and asked if I'd like any jewelry; perhaps a new necklace or something. I didn't know what to say for a moment. This'll sound sappy, but it truly made my day. I felt elated that she felt comfortable enough to be able to offer these things. I'm very proud of her.... and yes, I did say so.

Coffee, 80p. Silver bracelet, 5 quid. Acceptance from your spouse? Priceless.

Adverts

Have you seen the new M&S adverts? They're fantastic. You can't go wrong with a bit of Shirl, but coupled with her, a camp opera version of Pink's "get the party started" and the whole James Bond evil ice palace - it's just the best. If a guy thought that one up on his own, I bet you five quid he can walk in heels and he's got perfect eyebrows. :)

Dangerous Curves?

Last month I posted a little piece about Anne Summers and M&S doing more of these MagicKnickers style garments. Looks like Trinny & Suzanna have grown tired of pushing other poeple's shapewear (not literally) and have released there own. If I see them I'll give them the once over. I'm not sure I need some at the mo (the diet is paying off!) but come Christmas, I don't want my skirts too snug.

By the way, do you think T&S will ever do a tranny makeover? It's not like it's not been mentioned enough on the forums. Dressing for your shape is one thing, but when your shape is prop forward, we need a little more help. :)

Xmas Party

Earlier in the week the NC group had their (should I say 'our'?) Christmas bash. It was absolutely fantastic - probably one of the best nights out I've had all year (en femme and otherwise). I can think of only one other party (this year) that I enjoyed as much.

As to the build-up, I'd run a map off Google and I was more nervous about getting lost and not being able to find the pub. Luckily, the Saints where in a good mood and I found the place pretty easily. I managed to park up outside and bumped into Daphne on the way in. Fortunately for Daphne, I didn't literally bump into her in the car. That would be bad wouldn't it. :) As it was special occasion I'd set off early (thanks H!) and I arrived in bloke mode. Or, as Sandi puts it as my "evil twin". :-)

The Liversage Arms is a lovely little old fashioned (in a good way) venue. No fake bricks or 'aged' wallpaper. The barman (Brett) was nice enough to point out I could get changed in the lady's, so off I went. The only mirror was shared, so I just had to brave it. I had my wrap dress on, boots and I'd managed to actually get some cleavage using some zinc-oxide tape. I bet that's not something you'll see on Blue Peter!

Anyhoo, I'm just putting my face on (no wig yet - ooo, skinhead with lippy and eyeliner on. Scary!) when the door opens and in comes a young lady. I say hi and apologise for hogging the mirror and move up a bit. Mandi turns out to be the singer with the Karoke. We had a good chat about this that and the other which was cool. Turns out that she does the singing full time. No more meetings or getting stuck in the rushhour, she says. Sounds good eh? Eventually, I'm ready: comb my wig, do that strange upside down thing you do to get it on and I'm good to go.

[ As an aside, I bumped into Mandi again in the loo. I was reapplying my lippy. No really! Anyway, we got chatting again and she said that it was the first time she'd had a crowd like us. She was cool with the whole TG thing. She said we were quieter than she expected, which puzzelled me somewhat. 'Why the age range?' she asked. I guess it's because it takes a certain amount of time for t-folk to either a) want to come out, b) want to go to a social group rather than just do their own thing or c) get the courage up to just do i t. It's not to say that we haven't had girls in their 20s come along, but in the main, it's the 30 - 40s bracket. ]

It was nice to see so many people make the effort to come. Some people I knew already, some a hadn't seen in a while and some I didn't get around to talking to. The singer started the karoke off and she was very good. Hats off to her. I'm no singer, seriously if I'd been on Pop Idol, I'd be on the cringe-worthy bit at the start. Still, you don't have to be a singer to be a performer do you. :-) After Yvone's ditty, up I went to do a number. It was the first time I'd ever done Karoke - still, how bad could it go? The adreline kicked in and the music was playing before I had time to reconsider. Still, if I can walk out of the house like I do, singing in front of the group couldn't be so hard should it? :) Well, I just about managed to keep up with the tele-prompter. Clearly, I'm not designed to multi-task. Read and sing? Not with my simple (mostly) male brain :)

The evening then revolved around chatting with people from the good, good natured banter, enjoying the buffet and getting up to do more Karoke. While I doubt that The 3 Degrees (Daphne, Val and myself) will not be storming the charts anytime soon, I'm hopeful we did entertain if nothing else! :)

We had a raffle and I won a prize, which was an added bonus. My name got pulled out of the hat a few more times, but little angel that I am, I asked for a redraw because I'd already got something. It's only fair really.

Eventually, the party wound down and by 1.30am I was back home grinning from ear to ear. Merry Christmas indeed!


Friday, November 24, 2006

Flying visits

Hey kids! Say what time is it?

Well, call me Paris Hilton* because this and next week is going to be shopping and (with luck) dancing. Okay, more Paris CrossRoads Motel. So sue me. :-P

Shopping

On Thursday, I had a happy jaunt around a local retail park with some of the girls from the Nottingham group. I spotted a nice skirt in Next (but I didn't try on) and some nice shoes in a store down the lanes. I'd forgottern how nice it is just to stroll about with out a care in the world. I wonder if I can wangle a day off work for some serious shopping?

Dancing

Next week is the group's Xmas Do in Derby. That should be a blast. I'm really looking forward to it. I love a good dance. I just hope my feet don't want to kill me by the end of the evening.

Later peeps.
Lynn
x

Friday, November 17, 2006

Is it all just chemistry?

Hi everyone,

Bit of a strange week this time around. Well, maybe not as strange as last week (!!) but odd none-the-less.

Loss

This week a work mate left for pastures new. We did the usual thing, had a whip round and went down the pub for a farewell drink. He's headed off back down south and, if I'm honest, I miss his company. It's odd, but sometimes as a guy you forge quite strong friendships with other men. I don't know about the rest of you, but it doesn't happen very often and when it does, it's not pleasant.

Chemistry

As a bit of break from my usual literary diet of fantasy / science fiction, I thought I'd give something factual a spin for a change. That's the joy of Librarys isn't it. You can afford to take a risk because if you don't like the book, it hasn't cost you anything. Not quite the same thing with Amazon though. :-)

Anyhoo, this book was a semi-serious book about the differences between men and women. It was a little more than Men are from Mars and the author's had gone down the route that it's our biochemistry that truly dictates our base personality. Sure, you can try all the equality ideals you want, but ultimately (say the authors), either sex is better at certain activies by design. It doesn't say that we can't fight our genetic programming, but it will take a long time for the changes to filter into the gene pool.

For a bit of fun, there's a quiz in the book which you can use to find where you sit on the male/female scale. There is a tranny test on-line that contains the answer "what's the girliest answer I can give?" [lol] That always springs to mind when these quick question thingies appear. So, I answered as honestly as I could. This isn't supposed to be a I'm-girlier-than-you p*ssing contest, after all how can a quiz of 20 questions read your whole personality?

According to the scale, I've got a "gay brain". My score puts me well into the female camp (heh - camp!) but I am male and I have typical male personality characteristics. I'm solution orientated; I can't read facial expression for love nor money and I keep a lid of my emotions. However, thinking a little more, I'm terrible at parallel parking (spacial awareness) and map reading is a nightmare.

Sorry, if this a little me-me-me, but stick with me and we'll get to the point in a little while. Oh yeah, I prattle on too. :-)

The authors went on to propose a rather fascinating, if simplistic, theory on the human mind and personality. Basically, they suggest that the bulk of human sexuality and personality is all dictated by hormones. Male babies who get a hefty dose of testosterone, become super-butch men; those that get a standard dose are your average joes. Some males who don't get quite the right amount can become gay because the sexual part of their brains keep the default female orientation. This type of man may remain straight but have certain female characteristics (high communication skills but low spacial awareness). A similar thing can happen to females. Doses of testosterone can lead to male personality characteristics: high spacial awareness, limited language abillity or in extremes, lesbianism, as the brain's sexual centres turn to the male perspective.

I was both drawn in and troubled by this suggestion. Is it really that simple? The right amount of a hormone and we're all vanillas? I'm not sure how I feel about this being an answer. In some ways it implies that I don't have any choice in the matter. After all, how many times have you thought about quitting the TG thing, yet it still comes back to you. If this theory is the truth and you cannot fight your nature, perhaps as Jenny suggested last week, the only way forward is self-acceptance.

Discuss. :-)

Another night down the Central

Maddie sent me a link to a clever music little video. A very catchy little tune, but I can't see the video being on TOTP2. :-)

And finally....

In a Trevour McDonut stylee, here's a bit of light humour (no, not fun with bulbs). Out of curosity, I wondered if anyone was linking back here. I think it's called an ego-search. Anyhoo, apart from the blog engines, it's all quite on the Western Front. All, that is, except for an appearance in Google Finance. They have a section where you can see if bloggers are talking about your products. The mind boggles! So, there I was on the Anne Summers page muttering on about magic knickers. I wonder just how many firms out there truly know their market? :-)

BTW, if any Anne Summers' executives are reading this, a) get some bloody work done and b) you need to stock tights for longer legs!

Take care and have fun.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Small world

Hey folks.

How's it going?

Sneer or cheer?

For the first time in a long time I watched the Pride of Britain Awards. Normally, that kinda thing doesn't pique my interest, but somehow I ended up watching it (tissues at the ready). To be honest, I found it really quite refreshing to see everyday folk be rewarded for their bravery or hard work. To often, it's easy to snub these type of events and write them off as total cheese-fests. The thing is, it wasn't an award show for The Best Soap or another golden gong for some Hollywood bigshot; these were everyday folk doing extraordinary things. The man who risked his life to save a mum and her child from a burning car; the teenagers who swam out to save three swimmers.

Do you dream of doing something heroic? Doing something to make a difference to other people's lives? When it's crunch time, how many of us would take that path and act with no regard for our safety? How many more of us would simply stop and watch? Hmmm....

Dancing Queen

The tickets for the Chams Xmas Do were handed out (top marks Sandi) on Thursday. I had one with my name on it! How special did I feel? (clue: 10/10). Karoke and a disco. I do *love* a disco and I've never been dancing en femme. Shopping, yes. Walking in fear down the highstreet that I'd bump into my mum, yes. But dancing no?

On Tuesday I had the good fortune to have a little time to myself and get dressed up. Firstly I tried on a more day-time outfit for the shopping trip (see below) and also practiced dancing in my heeled boots. Well, I won't be winning any prizes for the best waltz (toxic waltz or not), but I can at least stay upright to Jump by Girl's Aloud. Ahhh.... Tranny anthems. Can you feel it? :-)

Small World

Thursday at NottsChams was very interesting (no, really!!). I'm terrible with dates (and names for that matter) and I'd got it into my head that a group of us would be popping out for a shopping trip. This was not to be as it wasn't late night opening this week. Ah well. Tracey tells me there may be one later in the month, so fingers crossed for that one. BTW, a big thanks to Tracey and Sandi for giving me the keromask tester. I'll give it a whirl later in the week.

That's incidental, what actually made my night was a little closer to home. There I was queuing up for a nice cup of tea (as provided by the ever glamourous tea-lady, AnneLouise), I spy a new girl come to see us (lovely coat and fab boots). As the nights have drawn in, so have a few new faces and it's always good to meet new folk.

Sandi introduced me to Jenny (hi! if you're reading this) and as she spoke, my spidersense started to go off. Surely not, my mind was saying, did I know this person? And if I did, would they want to know that I knew? Ahh, be hung for a sheep as a lamb, I had to ask.....

L. Excuse me, but do you mind if I ask....?

J. The answer's yes. Hello.

Jenny had clocked me straight away when I walked in and she took the question rather well. Well, small world eh? I have to be honest, I never suspected Jenny's male equivalent at any time. So much for tranny-radar. Mine must be dud.

Well, we had a right old natter about this surprise revelation and we caught up about what the old firm was up to. Good fun indeed. As she left I sat there thinking it's funny how life throws you a curveball like that. A few years ago I think that would have been my worst nightmare: knowing that someone I know socially, knows my big secret. And now? Truth be told, it was nice to catch up with an friend from work.

BTW, if there are any first-timers out there put off by this, please don't be. Oh, and don't have nightmares. :-)

Friday, November 03, 2006

Hello Autumn

Hello folks.

Urban Walks

Today I had the luxury of a walk between our two main offices. A pleasant jaunt through a semi-urbanised environment. Twenty minutes away from e-mail and the telephone ringing. Just me, the autumn sun and a gentle breeze.

It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life. ~P.D. James

Comedy News Programmes

Not so much Have I Got News For You, but ITV's persistance at turning itself into an episode of Brass Eye. While flicking through the TV channels tonight, I stumbled across the Tonight programme where they were discussing the new Borat movie. Is it racist? Is it comedy? Well, comedy, like beauty, is subjective. Is Bernard Manning a racist, or is he, like Jerry Sadowich - allowed to say that if you target all, no one is a victim. If everyone is a target, can you be accused of singling anyone out? Mind you, I wouldn't fancy sitting in the front row en femme to prove that point. :-)

Shopping

Next week sees a trip out shopping with the girls from the social group. I must confess I'm quite excited as it'll be fun to go for a stroll en masse and see what delights are on offer. As the night's draw in, I'm wondering if I can pick up a coat. Wrap cardigans and long sleeved tops are okay, but they don't keep the wind chill out. Maybe the Patron Saint of Bargains will smile upon us.

Relaxation

At work the other day, the topic of relaxtion cropped up in office conversation. S. said he liked to go jogging while J. professed her love of hoovering to destress. What about you? I was asked. What do you do? Luckily, I didn't have a thought bubble appear above my head as various past-times zipped through my mind. While my mind's eye was busy recounting getting ready to visit Chams; or flicking through the latest clothing mag to drop through the door; I gave a more typical answer. Mainly, I said lying, I like to read or surf the Net. You know, geek stuff.

Is this what it's like being a superhero? Secret identity, things you can't talk about with normal* folk and meeting up with people you wouldn't recognise out of 'costume'. If any superheroes are reading this, please let me know.

Well, that's me done. Have a good one and take care.

PS: This week's homework: define 'normal'. :-D

Friday, October 27, 2006

Duality

Hi folks!

How is everyone out there in blogland? All well I trust. Phew! What a week. Feels like it's been Monday to Friday at 80mph. It is, at least, now over. Those of you who took the time to email, my apologies for not replying sooner.

Nothing but good news to report this week. Dontcha just love that when it happens?

Evening All

Thursday night was Nottingham Chameleons and it was a just right. The day before I'd been wondering just what to wear. You know how it is. Dozens of outfits, but which one. Do you find you get stuck wearing the things you like? Your fave t-shirt, tie or, for some folk, dress and boots. After much deliberation I settled on boots, a red top and a lace-string cardy thing. I say cardy, but it's not really for keeping you warm. Not bad for a tenner in last year's Dorothy Perkin's sale :-)

It's always nice to meet new folk as well as the regulars at Chameleons. This week I bumped into Jenny and Samantha (hi girls!). I've been reading at Samantha's exploits on her web page (see the links section) for a few years now. It's nice to hear (or read) what other people have been up to. Anyway, I eventually dropped her a line asking her to come along. So, well done Samantha for taking the plunge and to Sandi for fetching her in! :-)

Dangerous curves ahead

Do you pad your hips or do you go as you are? I must confess, I do pad them. I have my Mum's hollow back (she's like the OAP J-Lo, bless her) Anyhoo, the other night, I was asked how I did it. It's all a bit Blue Peter, but surprisingly simple.

You need four shoulder pads (I got mine from Jessops, but the Vic Centre market may have some) and some soft foam. The foam should be about 3/4" thick and around 8" long by 6" wide (apologies to you metric birds out there!)

Trim the foam (not the pads!) to form a tear or kite shape. You may need to experiment a bit to get the right shape for you. If you're feeling dexterous, you could sew them together so they don't move about. Nothing worse than when you're putting your jeans on and one goes up and the other down. :-)


Put these under your tights and put the shoulder pads over the top to soften the curve. If you're wearing thick tights they'll hold them just fine. Alternatively you can trim the legs off some support tights (god, they're *tight*) to hold them in place. Evans do some long line undergarments - but not knickers - that'll help hold them. If they're too thick for you, try some thinner foam or, if you wear Magic Knickers or similar, put them underneath and let the controlwear work its magic.

Nails

Eyeliner? Easy. But nail varnish? Not a hope! Last month I thought I'd try some false nails as way of a change. Getting them on was easy enough, but removing the glue afterwards was Challenge Annika.

Normally I stick with clear polish and now I know why. For a change, I tried a darker shade and it was all over the place. Like a car respray by Blind Pugh. Things didn't get any better as a carrier bag took the top coat straight off. Ah well.

Note to self: follow Yvonve's advice with the self-stick Kiss range.

A Chance Missed

Last week H. was off on business and I had access to the car. Normally, I'd jump at the chance to spend the day shopping. Sadly, it wasn't to be. I had too much on at work and my head won over my heart. Perhaps the fates will smile later in the year....

Anniversaries

At the end of the month H & I will have been married for 9 years. I love her dearly and, bless her, she puts up with a lot. With a little luck Mr Postman will be winging a few goodies her way.

The other aniversay? Well, I started this blog just over a year ago. My other (vanilla) blog has died a death after six months. Writer's block killed it off. That, or I'd rather concentrate on questions and ponder on topics from less standard themes in life. Interesting - no really (!!) - this month's Psychology magazine has an article on the merits of keeping a diary. There was no mention of blogs, but I did find a number of similiarities between a diary and this electronic thing.

When Carpark Signs Go Bad

This item gave me a chuckle. Seems someone was having a bad day in the Traffic Department.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

"This is our lives on holiday"

Hello boys, girls and t-folk.

How are you all? Enjoying the slow turn of the seasons? I hope so. The perceptive among you will have noticed there was no blog entry last week. There was no major crisis, nor a holiday; it was simply that I could not think of anything to write about. (Un)luckily for you, that's not the case this week. :-)

As the nights draw in...

Those slowly darkening evenings and coolish tempreatures mean that it's tranny season once again. I had the good fortune to visit the Nottingham group on Thursday to see a number of friendly faces and some new girls too. Things are going well for the group and the Xmas do won't be far away either. I must practice dancing in heels. ;-) This weeks outfit was a new wrap dress, knee boots and for a change I passed on the soft browns I normally used for my eyes and used the colours I got from the BodyShop demo a few months back. Again, no photo because I'm really disorganised. :-)

My only slight problem was that I'd decided to apply some false nails before leaving. They stayed on all night - although I wish I'd shortened them a little - but cleaning my nails afterwards. Yipes. I had to stop off at a supermarket to get some nail glue remover before work. Luckily, we have changing rooms for those that cycle in.

So, a word of advice to young trannys, be sure you have glue remover before thinking of false nails. Also, put them on after you've got everything else on. You'll never get your tights on with nails like that. :-)

Stealth Bigots

The other week, I was reading some news on a not to be named forum. It's not a tranny forum in case you're thinking that. I'm something far more mundane than that. As well all know lots of forums have sections where members can post jokes, chat and generally talk off-topic. Anyhoo, one frequent poster had mentioned that he was getting married. Nothing out of the ordinary about this, until you get towards the end and you realise that it's a same sex marriage. Fair enough and good luck to him & his partner, I thought. I - and a number of other folk - wished him all the best for the big day.

Then, from out of the blue out come the bigots: "it shouldn't be legal" or "your lifestyle is sinful!" WTF? Who rattled your cages? Humpf. The admins shut the thread down as it was about to get a heated. I must confess that I'm disappointed by this. No, not the shutting down bit, but other people's rude behaviour and - dare I say it - polictically incorrect views.

For sometime I've spoken (as much as you can via a forum) with the offenders, but it's left a bad feeling in the air between us. Knowing what I do now about their views has made me....ack! words fail me.... have made me cold towards them. If they have views like that, I question if I'd actually like to have anything to do with these people. The irony is that maybe if we did talk about why they hated [insert minority here] so much perhaps they'd change. Perhaps I'm naive. Would they be shocked and appauled if they knew I was TG? Well, I think we all know the answer to that one dont't we...? :-)

Anyway, take care and have fun!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

A night on the tiles

Another week shoots by eh?

All good things come to s/he who waits?

After a few less than productive shopping trips, I hit paydirt this week. Not only did I manage to get a pair of round toed stillies in my size (that were not cripplingly narrow) but a got a new wrap dress too. Yes, they may be soo last season, but then so are the ever flattering boot-cut trousers and I shan't be chucking them out any time soon. Especially if the alternative is leopard-print. Hell, I'm a tranny and even I won't touch that. Obviously, I'm just not down with the kids. :-D

The funny thing about buying women's clothes when you're a guy - and I don't know if you do this too - is that I feel obliged to pick up at least one item of male clothing before I go in. I guess it's cover should I be asked, but in all the times I've headed off to the changing rooms with the basket loaded with a blouse, clingy top, two skirts and some shoes, I've only ever been asked once to leave something behind. Even then, the retort of "Well, they were the last pair and I'd rather hang on to them" was met with a shrug and I went through. At least H&M just have dressing rooms rather than his & hers. Maybe they know their market very well.

Style Snobs

The other day I was sat in the canteen munching on an apple (diets - ack!) while two ladies behind me were discussing clothes. One of them was saying that her friend had bought her child something from Matalan and she was saying that she never shopped there because it was "just cheap". To be honest, I found this a little bit odd. Often the person in question looks like they've just stepped out of any high street catalogue: Matalan, Next, Additions, Primark, etc.

All of this bluster made me wonder: if it looks good and it's inexpensive, what's not to like?

An evening with the girls

For the first time in a while, I headed over to the local social group for an evening of chat, tea and ...ummm... more chat. It was great to be out all dressed up and it was great to hear what the regulars had been up to. It was also nice to see a new face (Hi Katie!) and discuss the christmas party ideas.

Feckin' Womens' knickers!*

One of this month's glossies has a quick article on the perfect bottom shape. The piece detailed the ideal shape and that Ann Summers are selling WonderBra's Curves Up shapeware. Basically, something we trannies have been a) hankering for or b) wearing for a few years now. Seems that the cult of the lollipop now need extra padding in the rear department. Still, I'm not going to complain. Considering that Curves Up are now available on the high street for 20 quid and more specialist vendors charge a lot more.

I did have a wander around M&S earlier this summer after seeing the effect their Magic Knickers had on a punter on How to Look Good Naked. But, going in bloke mode to try some on is never easy is it.

* So spake Father Jack, who in a fair and sane world would either a) give Thought for the Day or b) have his own life coach programme on the telly.

Friday, September 22, 2006

The weekend, at last

Coo. What a week! Busybusybusy. I'm glad that one's over. How've you all been?

Waste

Have you been watching any of those lifestyle programmes on the telly recently? You Are What You Eat or Spendaholics?

A while ago the Beeb used to run a programme called Your Money or Your Life - which I rather enjoyed to be honest. Anyhoo, initally the presenter would show a person their debt using one pound coins for each ten quid of debt. All rather simple. However, I think the media luvvies must of got bored of that - or moreover, thought we the simple viewing public would - and switched to more and more bizare representations of debt.

So how is this wasteful? Well, You Are What You Eat lines up a week's worth of food on a table while El Presentde berates the hapless soul. Unless I missed it, has anyone said, "Yeah, my diet is sh** but what about all this f***ing food you're wasting!"

Hell, if I was sort of a pie or two, I'd be following Mz McKeith from house to house hoping she's leave week's worth of food literally lying around.

Spendaholics isn't quite in the same vein, but the odd ones I've caught do go in for the most bizare representations of money. One of the oddest was filling a guy's sitting room with tiny polystyrene balls - snow, apparantly - with each one being a penny that he owed to Mr Credit Card.

What next? A series of lyrca clad dancers twirling away from HSBC and rubbing themselves against shop windows while the presenters castigate this week's target from a car park roof perhaps? Actually, writing this type of stuff down just isn't safe. They'll probably do it.

Countdown

Bit of a telly theme this week eh? Shucks. Well, nothing to do with the late Mr Whitely, it's (hopefull) going out time next week. I think it must be something to do with the darkening evenings, I'm almost looking foward to it. :-)

YouTube

This video from YouTube made be laugh. Are TV producers raiding Fictionmania? :)

Friday, September 15, 2006

Good times

Brain says 'no'

Do any of you out there in radio, TV and blog land get this? You hit the 'create post' button, fingers hover over the keyboard and then.... zip. What you'd previously thought up as an oh-so witty start-up turns out to be, well, just b*ll*cks frankly. Thank the Lord for the delete key eh?

Links Schminks

Those of you with eagle eye action (note: this is not kinky TV slang) may have noticed a few changes to the Links section. I've added a few other blogs/homepages thingies and there's also a link to Browsar. It's a handy little program that runs a custom version of IE. This keeps all it's footprints well hidden from the OS and makes sure you don't have 'pretty courts +size +8' in your history file. Please note, I'm not saying that you should ditch your browser du-jour in favour of this, but, sometimes it's handy to have another gadget to fall back on.

Memories

Nothing new in TG land this month, although I'm hoping to go out next week sometime. Not sure when. What brough some of it home is that we changed the car at the weekend. Funny how you attach memories to inanimate objects isn't it. Anyhoo, that was the car I'd been out in the most. Kinda makes me wonder what the future holds....

Good times

Apart from replacing the car, we've also come back off holiday. A very nice few days soaking up the sun and messing around in the very large heated swimming pool (tropical paradise + water chutes = fab). The WeeMan was loving every minute of it. Work - who needs it? Well, other than to pay for holidays that is.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Not in the mood

Food Guilt

Do you get this? You're trying to watch your weight - well, in so much as you're trying to cut down rather than watch is go up that is - yet realistically you've got to eat. Not eating makes the old metabolism go 'Cripes! No food - absorb all calories!!' and makes you ratty.

So, I'm sat tucking into a small piece of birthday cake - see below - and my inner Gillian McKeith is saying 'noooo!' It's a feckin' birthday, you can't not eat just a bit of cake. Yet, once you've eaten it, that's it (unless you're bulemic, but let's not go there). Possibly then I should adhere to the advice about dieting of christmas - don't do it. Cutting down during the feastive period - or in this case, special occasions - just makes you miserable.

So in an effort to avoid future food guilt attacks, I've taken to walking as much as I can rather than sitting around at work eating all the pies. So far, so good.

No more Jo?

Do any of you follow the links off this page? If you do you'll notice one going off to Jo's blog: InnerGirl. Luckily for her she has an inner girl rather than an inner Gillian McKeith. Still, at least I can make a granola porridge at 3am. :-)

Well, Jo's blog is no more. She's decided to cut back on the blogging and spend more time with her family. Yeah, I appreciate that sounds a bit like a Tory MP bowing out, but seriously I feel a little sad that she's called it a day. Yes, I appreciate that your family (and marriage) are very important. However, it is also important to take care of your needs too. You see, reading Psychology magazine isn't always good for you [wink] - or in my case, Armchair Psychologist - but if you don't take care of your wants and desires - who will?

I'm not going to deride Jo's decision for withdrawing the blog, that is her decision and I'm sure she had very good reasons to do so. What I am worried about is the thought of someone like her trying to put the lid on the whole thing and going back to being Mr Vanilla (no, not the Ice Cream man who drives around on Sunday). Denial puts you under huge pressure and put anything under enough pressure and it will eventually explode.

I'm hopeful someone will prove that theory with the Chuckle Brothers but I've had no takers yet. BTW, if you're a lawyer for the Chuckle Brothers that gag was meant ironically. No, really.

Dressing up?

I don't know about the rest of you in TV land, but somehow the mood to put all the gear on has (again) vanished somewhat. I know Trannyseason isn't due to start until the nights begin to draw in, but surely we're not just autumn & winter creatures? Possibly trannys have some link to vampires: only seen after dark, secretive, pale skin, bright lips, dodgy fashion sense (always seen in evening wear). Nah...

Gender Roles

Today we all went off to a kid's party. The usual thing happened, the women ended up in the kitchen while the menfolk stood about and drank. Where was I? Playing with the kids in the garden of course. Kids are fun and they really make me laugh with there honestly - sometimes 90lbs of blunt honesty. It's not everyday that you can exercise your imagination by drawing 'wheels' on two cardboard boxes and have toddler racing.

On the way home H. recounted how some of the wives where pissed off that their husbands wouldn't play with the kids like I did. (woo! ego moment! kerching!). Does being a tranny mean you have less fear of non-macho rolls like childcare? If it does, it would be a pay off for having a husband who loves frocks, so maybe that goes to prove the old line about clouds and silver linings.

Shoes

The Matalan catalog dropped through the other day and after leafing through it, I decided to drop by. Sadly, a lot of the stock advertised just wasn't out yet - why do they do that? Anyone know? What was out, or rather I should say, what had been out had now gone. Those round toed courts I had my eyes on had sold out in black.

Honestly, it's like being Cinderella's ugly sister when it comes to shoes. The ones you want never bloody fit! [Sigh] Those of us who are not a size 6 will forever be thwarted in our quest to get cute round toed shoes to fit. Maybe I should be trying Tall & Small instead.

The Daily Blah

This morning I stopped to fill the car up with petrol (obviously, not literally) and popping in to pay, I caught the headline from the Daily Panic. 'Romanians to swamp Britain!' screamed the front page. Swamp Britain? What, as in make it all boggy, fill it with gators and rednecks? Shurely shome mishtake. Still, it's nice to see the UK doing its bit for race relations. W*nkers.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Shopping

Q. What does every t-girl do when they're feeling a bit miffed?

A. Go shopping of course!

So, rather than fight my gender conditioning (what does that mean? I have no idea!), I sloped off early from work and did a quick tour around Matalan and Next Clearance. Both stores had a big sale on, and you know what, there was nothing that caught my eye. Sometimes the sales are like that, you go in hoping to catch a bargain, but often it's merely the collection of dodgy clothes they couldn't sell earlier in the year at full price. In some stores, it seems they can't shift them at a fraction of the price either. I went in hoping to pick up a denim skirt, but neither shop had any. I guess I must be between seasons...

This lack lustre affair doesn't compare well to the shopping trip H and I had last week. H. wanted some new summer clothes and a wedding outfit. No, not a bridal gown - don't get excited. :-) We had a good trounce around the shops and did get some bargains. Debenhams were having a shoe sale and neither of us could get our feet in the size 8 round-toes stillies. FFS. I do like the look out round toed high heels, but unless I can get a 9 (where I can try them on) I think it may not be meant to be.

I've also put a little weight back on - certainly in the lower tummy area - not that I mind overly. I guess I can blame the fantastic desserts that H. and I have been enjoying. I just hope my girl clothes still fit when I come to get them out of the wardrobe. That reminds me, one thing I did spot on my travels was M&S rather impressive shapewear. I had my eye out for some after I watched How to Look Good Naked. Not that I plan to go naked, but given a choice between shapewear and pudding, or being 14 and hungry - I'm willing to try the corset route. Men, don't we just love a quick fix? :-)

Given the combination of not going out (too hot, too busy), a poor en drab shopping experience, I'm wondering when I can next get out to the shops in tgirl mode. I think I'll have to save the pennies and wait for a cooler day before I venture forth again.

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Ghosts of the past

How are you? Feeling good I trust. So... what's been going on? Well, other than a complete lock down out outbound flights from the UK. Scary stuff indeed.

I must confess to being somewhat confused by the plans of folk who perform these shocking deeds. While I understand that the complete lack of a voice, means that people will use any means to attract political attention - just what benefits are gained from killing innocent civilians?

Perhaps we decadent Westerners are The Enemy and are legitmate targets. It saddens me to think so, as if you don't get people 'on your side', just how to hope to influence those that make the decisions? I'm no history expert, but in recent years, the Ulster problem seems to have been resolved through talk, rather than through violence.

I'd like to think I'm a fairly laid back person and that others have a right to live their lives as they see fit. However, when I hear about people plotting to kill ordinary Schmoes like you and I, I have to fight the urge to let reason fly out of the window and jump on the Terrorist Witchhunt bandwagon yelling like the Kenny Everett character of old, General Marvin. Round 'em up, put 'em in a field, and BOMB THE BASTARDS! Of course, one may argue that that's entirely the reason why we've got terrorist actions. Faced with the seemingly impossible odds of knocking the West's military power, it is not the easy option to strike at the civilians? Are we in a Catch 22 situation? They bomb us, we carpet bomb them, they bomb us, we invade, repeat ad nauseum - or is that too simplistic?

[sigh] Answers on a post card to the usual address.

But on to more trivial matters.

Old 'Friends'

The other day the Wee Man and I were shopping in town for my Mum's birthday. We'd forsaken the pushchair because he likes shoulder rides at the mo. Half an hour in and I'm feeling an inch shorter, but one happy dad. We stroll into Next - mainly 'cos me Ma likes the PJs in there - for a look around. Who should I see but an old school friend. Friend? Well, once upon a time....

[cue flashback]

BP (not his real name) and had been good mates, so much so that I thought I could trust him with the big Tranny Secret. Note to young trannys: 1) Never give up a secret while p*ssed and 2) Never give up a secret while sober. I was right about trust, but only for a while. I left town to go to College and he stayed behind. We drifted apart and things turned sour. Gee, does like read like some f**ked up chit-lit novel or what? Maybe I should swap the names about and do a novel. :-)

Anyhoo, I'm sat on the bus going to College one day, reading a letter from another school friend. You can tell it was the early 90s, people actually wrote to each other rather than emailing or texting each other. The sun was shining, it was a week before the end of term and all was well with the world (apart from a strange high pitched whistling noise coming from something bomb shaped from about 500ft up and dropping). Fitting in well in London. Blah. Have new boyf. Blah. Bad news now. Should warn you that B. has told everyone about your love of dressing up.

BOOOM.

I read that last paragraph again. Sighed and went very, very pale. When I got to class my mate - bless his socks - asked: "You alright? Looks like you've had a shock?" I lied and said everything was fine.

So, what did I learn from this lesson in life? Well, for a long time I took it that you can't trust anyone. Eventually, anyone will - to quote Ripley in Aliens - f*** each other over for a percentage. With time, I've found that not to be true. It's a cliche, but time does heal. What seemed like such a big deal at the time, has now worked out for the best. I stayed away (coward) and made a new life with a fabby wife, wee man and I've got it pretty easy.

[end flashback]

So, what do you do when meet the guy who outed you to your [ahem] mates who had a really good laugh at your expense?* I had one of those High Fidelity moments - you know, the fantasy sequence in the movie where John Cusack's character daydreams a witty comeback or a gangster beatdown on the customer from hell?

Instead, I stopped and said "hi, would you be BP from so-and-so school. I'm blah."; it took a second for him to place me and we had a short chat while his girlfriend hovered at the fringes. Having been pleasant and with nothing more to say, I said cheerio. Then the oddest thing happened. I'd always remembered him as this cock-sure king of the world kinda guy, but instead, he made this lame-assed joke and tittered nervously. It was then that I saw through all the years of jokes and gags at other people's cost. As Wee Man and I walked out the shop, I'd got back an extra two inches of height and a f***ing great grin on my face.

I didn't get mum the PJs tho. :-)

* Actually, that's not completely true. One of the group - and I wonder if this shows who your proper mates are (as me Dad would say) said on the subject, "Frankly, my dear - I don't give a damn." which had me chuckling for a while. Cheers to you, C - whatever you're up to.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Attack of the Blonde Ubervixens

I had had mental block over a suitable title. I could have said writer's block, but that would suggest I have literary asperations, rather than being just another blogger. :-) Anyhoo, what's been going off on Planet Lynn?

The UK - at least where we are - is roasting. I think it must have been 32 or nearabouts today. Far too warm for me, Little Man or H. I am definitly an autumn/winter person. Give me bracing walks through the frost covered countryside, a soft October sun and the the run up to Christmas. However, summertime does mean we can sit outside under the shade of the cherry tree with our feet in Little Man's new paddling pool. Ahhh, bliss.

Talking of the wee man, he was a year older earlier in the week. We threw a party to celebrate: family, friends, cake, pop and beer. I good time was had by all. I can't believe that the toddlers drank all the real ale though. Little sh**s :-)

In other good news, it looks like H's firm won't be closing up shop just yet, so things are back on the rails again. Phew! There's also the chance that she might be able to switch divisions - hopefully to one that's got better prospects. Go H.!

On Saturday, we had a babysitter (thanks Aunty P!) and we went off to meet some of my friends from work. After a particularly good meal in Nottingham, we headed off to Hockley for a pint. Neither H. nor I tend to be out in Nottingham during the weekend - well, certainly not the evenings - so it was quite a surprise to see how the other half live. H. & co got a table while I made my way to the bar. The place was packed and I've not seen so much flesh on show before. Honestly, I though some T-girls dress trashy, [me-ow] but surely there are more fashion options that having straight white blonde hair, a golden tan and microshorts. To each there own! I was a bit miffed to see the girl in front of me get touched up by a guy one his way out. What is it that makes blokes do that? Hmmm. How wude. :-|

Having spent a lot of time in the sun at the weekend, I've - much to my own amusement* - got tan lines on my feet. Whoops. Better get busy with the fake tan I guess.

[ * I'm easily amused. Go figure. :-) ]

Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Enemy Within?

The tranny forums - as regular readers will know all about - are alive with talk about Sparkle. To those of you - if there are any *cough* straight readers reading - who aren't in the know, Sparkle is one of the big tranny events in the summer. Judging by the posts, it was a big success and those who attended had a blast. Good stuff and pats on the back to the organisers and sponsors who gave their time.

In fact, while we're at it, here's a round of applause to those out there who organise events and socials during the rest of the year. Am I a kiss-ass? Maybe, but consider this, without these folk, most of us would be sat at home counting down the hours until we're alone or the kids have gone to bed. Not everyone wants to totter down the high street, drinking in Yates' or Weatherspoons. These folk don't have to do it, and I'm sure there are times when it's a chore rather than a pleasure...

But, back to my original train of thought. Apparantly of the 5000 folk who drifted through Canal Street, 1000 or so were TG. So, just how many of us - TV, TS, TG, pick your label - are out there earning a crust in schools, offices, government or factories? Serving your food, delivering your mail or teaching your kids? Do you really know what the guy (or girl) sat next to you was doing last weekend? It's a thought isn't it. So while you may be laughing at the antics of the Bounty ads or possibly wondering Why Do Men Wear Frocks (a la Mr Perry), stop and have a think about your co-workers and your mates. You never know..... :-)

Monday, June 26, 2006

You run for cover in the temple of love

Hi folks,

Good weekend? I hope so. I know I did... at least what I can remember (and that's without any alcohol being consumed). We spent most of Saturday at my sister's house or down the park entertaining her kids. How does she cope as a single mum?

Thursday went without any major hitches. Little Man was off to be early due to a lack of a nap at Nursery and (when I went/came back) H. and I didn't have any fireworks. This can only be a good thing! Perhaps I should travel in bloke mode more often. I guess a lot of life is about compromise, but compromise (on both sides) is better than conflict.

The night at Chams was rather fun and it was a bit of a change to be wearing jeans rather than my usual outfits. I'd painted my toes - okay, my toenails to be specific, painted toes would be a bit too performance art - for the first time and I rather liked the look. Don't ask me to explain, but somehow we all ended up playing Rounders. Yeah, go figure. :-)

In other news there's been a bit of a flap between the two social groups: Derby and Nottingham. The crux of it is that both events run on opposite Thursdays. However, one has - so I'm told - switched to weekly events. I guess the good folk at Nottingham are concerned that everyone will travel down to Derby (after all, many folk travel up from their for the Nottingham meetings). I really hope that there's enough room for us all. Social groups are few and far between - we're quite lucky in this neck of the woods with Derby, Nottingham, Sheffield and Leicester all hosting something at various parts of the month. Fingers crossed eh?

I don't know if you've noticed it, but some odd has happened to the TV (I mean television). There seems be nothing much on but 22 men kicking around a pig's bladder. I must confess that I find it all rather confusing. I know some folk are "mad for it" (and not just the Gallagers) but really it leaves me cold. So much for possible male bonding through team sports. Rats. Foiled again. Anyhoo - if you are watching it, have fun.... and to those not watching it, I hope you're not bored stiff by the lunch time analysis. :-D

Monday, June 12, 2006

Breaking the dry spell

Tuesday the whim caught me and for the first time in weeks, I decided to dress up. Nothing too fancy, just bootleg jeans, a strappy top and wedge sandals. Makes a change from the usual office bird gear and, the change, I found rather refreshing.

I don't know if any of you out there do this to, but when you've got dressed, do you find the need to do something other than just pose about by the mirror and take it all off again? No, not *that* something - honestly, minds like drains some folk - I was thinking along the lines of something useful: a bit of tidying up, hoovering or sorting out the kitchen. Well, maybe it's just me who's an oddball, but it's kinda fun to run the hoover around and tidy up while feeling rather non-drab. Perhaps I should go see a specialist. :-)

This week is going to be a bit of a rush, I've got a couple of work meetings out of town; including one near London on Thursday. Hopefully that one won't drag* on and I'll be back in time for wee man's story-time AND with a little luck, going out too.

Talking of wee-man, we had a father and son day last Wednesday due to a mix up about childcare. We had a fantastic time in the park where the sun beamed down and a cool wind kept us...uhhh... cool. A quick sprint around the shops (fruit, salad and some things for Mum) followed by a picnic under a shady tree. It was one of those times that reminds me of those perfect childhood memories where the sun always shone and skies where a cloudless blue. As I sat in the sandpit, while Little Man burried my feet, I thought, it can't get any better than this.

Thunder... thunder... thunderstorms (??)

Thor was well and truly in a blinder of a mood today. Real big-assed wrath-of-the-gods thunder. Impressive stuff. Oh and there was a much needed rainstorm. Welcome to the British monsoon season.

Which brings me nicely - ooo, good link eh? - to shopping the other day. P. and I had gone shopping and for the first time in ages, we went into Monsoon. "That's a nice skirt," she says holding up this gorge pale green patterned silk number. I nod and fumble with the price ticket. ****ing hell, I think, and it's not designer. :-) Funny that in some shops you can get an outfit for that price! :-) After much too-ing and fro-ing, we did get an outfit together. So, she's now sorted for the do the week after next. Boots had an offer on, but neither of us needed anything, so that passed by too.

In Jo's blog she mentioned that dilema you have when you meet someone who has a fantastic lippy / top / skirt / outfit and you're dying to know where they go it. Yeah, I know that feeling too. Can you, as a guy, say to a woman "nice hair" and really just mean that? Perhaps if you're Carson from Queer Eye, but I don't think I could pull it off. :-)

Brokeback Mountain popped through the post yesterday and I enjoyed watching that. Great performances by Ledger et al and I'm a little miffed that it lost out on an Oscar to Crash. I saw Crash earlier in the year, and I don't think I've seen a film where the characters were so vile. Out of a dozen, there was perhaps one non-vile person. Maybe I'm missing the point - not for the first time - but mostly I watch a film because I want to be entertained, educated or be lost in the moment. Crash was dirty and unplesant, not challenging nor educational. The cynic in me wonders if the Oscar board could find more in common with the bigots/misanthropes than the love story of two cowboys. Perhaps I'm being too right-on. Ah well, they'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes. :-)

I must try and make an effort to attend the next meeting. I know the summer funds drop as membership wanes. I *almost* made it last time (in bloke mode no less) but by the time I'd got into Nottingham, it was half nine. Instead, I nipped into Asda and got the shopping in. That's rock & roll eh? :-)

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Summertime

Summertime for trans folk is a strange time. You would think it's all floaty dresses, smooth pins and fancy wedges. What could be more transtastic than all that? Hmmm. Well, summertime is an odd time. It's a time when The Urge - to use a highly technical term - just seems to fade away. It doesn't go completely - hell, I still double take when walking past Dotty P's summer collection - but it does seem to abate.

Last week P. asked if I was going out to Notts, but truthfully, I wasn't really interested. This weekend is also the monthly meeting of the girls at Leicester, and to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. Just call me Dirty Harriet. :-)

I must confess as I find this more than a little odd. During the winter months I was counting down the days (well, almost) to the next meeting and planning what to wear. Now it seems, I'm thinking about how fabby the weather is, when the wee-man*, P and I can go to the park, etc.

So, following a highly scientific logic pattern, if summertime (and sunshine) means a reduction in your tranny powers, perhaps it means that places like the Carribean are cross dresser free. Meanwhile, less sunnier climes (Scotland? Finland?) are packed with skirt-wearing heathens or men with long hair, make-up and big guitars. (Well, at least if the Eurovision was anything to go by. :-) They got my vote!!)

This pattern tends to repeat each year and trannyness begins to pick up as the clocks turn back. Blogs come to a halt, shoes go unsold and tranny clubs are quiet. I hope that most of them have enough reserves to pay the venues. Maybe a visit en homme is required! That'll be a first.

Take care,
Lynn

* BTW, "wee-man" - that's not a euphenism for your John Thomas. Talking about taking your wee-man "out in the park" is a bit too al-fresco. Honestly, you'd think I was some kind of perv with talk like that. Oh no, wait.... damn. :-)

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Cwoss Dwessing

Been a while hasn't it? Well, we've been away - no, not at her Majesty's pleasure - but on holiday. A week or so of fantastic weather up by the Lakes. No mobile reception, iffy TV reception: but acres of blue sky, rolling hills, a playground (for El Toddler) and plenty of chance to read on an evening. Quality.

As Lilly Von Schuck would say: "Ahhh... I feel wefreshed." :-)

Things are going well at the mo, family life is good (we'll see what happens this Thursday shall we?) and work is slowly down from insane to just frantic.

I've been asked to do a piece on my make-over (see previous blog entries) which I really must get around to do. I've seen some wedges that'll go nicely with a fabby skirt from Asda (of all places). I just need to make the time to pop in and buy some.

Time eh? Who couldn't do with an extra hour or two in the day? :-)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Sometimes, it's great to be a man....

In an effort to post something a bit more upbeat than the last two entries.... Oh, but before you read on, if you don't like kids - skip on to paragraph two. :-)

Family Guys

I've had a good weekend with just P. and our little lad (LL). Today was a trip to a local park and we played for ages on the swings + slides. Fun for all the family! Yesterday, he and I went shopping for P. He was good as gold all the way around the shops despite me dragging him all around town through umpteen shops. That can't be easy when you're nearly 3, but he braved it like a good 'un. After three... 'bless' :-) He and I finished baking because a) it passes the time, b) he loves making a mess and c) we're addicted to homemade cake. One day I'll learn how to fold flower into the mixture without wearing it. He's now tucked up safe in bed and is currently fast asleep.

Good job I had the night off!

P. had gone out to visit some friends on Saturday. I'd agreed to stay in and put LL to bed. Don't you want to go to Leicester (Chams) tonight? P. asked. Honestly? No, not really. I went out on Thursday [shrug]. I'll be back around 11 she replied. So at 10pm I was sat listening to music with my feet up and she came in with a bunch of mates for a cup of tea. Luckily it was 10 and not 9, because at 9 I was relaxing in the bath enjoying the very hot water and trying not to cook myself.

Relaxing en homme

P. is also out tonight (visiting her best mate) and I'm sat her in Bloke Mode drinking tea and bending my ears to The Best Industrial Grindcore Album in the World Ever 6*!. In years gone past, I would have been counting down the hours and dashing to the dressing up box - no, really! - to pull out all the finery* and reaching for the digital camera. I guess now that I can go out regularly, I don't have the drive to dress at every chance. I also don't have to panic about getting the eyeliner off half an hour before she's back. :-D

Sometimes, laziness is a good thing. :-)

* Not true, although there probably is a compilation album like that around somewhere. I saw a "Best Punk Album in the World ever" a few years back. Is that ironic? I'm not sure. Maybe Alanis could tell me. But then again.... :-)

Friday, April 28, 2006

Welcome to a new kind of tension

I've stared at this browser window for a while now and the creative juices aren't just with me tonight.

It seems the pendulum of acceptance - to use a slightly bonkers image - has swung the other way. P. is, as you may have read, on the chopping block at work and she's really worried. I'm doing a 120mph at work and things seem to be piling up. My job is frankly, doing my head in. I really feel for P. but not having been laid off, I don't know exactly what she's going through. All I can do is listen. I hope that's enough.

I upset her last night by leaving with my face on and dress underneath my male clothes. The light nights don't make a tranny's life easy do they. :-) In hindsight, I think it would have been better to have gone and come back in bob mode. When I got back she seemed pretty jolly, but I'd not got all the mascara off and that (understandably) freaked her out.

Now, I'm hoping that the conversation we then had was increased by the looming redundency. But, underneath the all the tranny-I'm-a-bird rubbish, I'm a guy and we're not that good at reading between the lines are we. Hell, I struggle with cooking instructions most days. :-|

So we seem to be drifting towards the iceberg of ultimatiums and I'm napping at the helm. I have cut down. Heh, makes me sound like a junkie doesn't it? :-) Somewhat oddly, the phrase "I could stop if I wanted to" is hollow. I've tried in the past and it didn't work. I'm sure a few of you have been through that. Sure, you can deny yourself for a bit, but being a tranny is more than just clothes and nice shoes (ooo, shoes). It goes right to the core of your being. You're not like other men; how many of you have stood in a pub with your straight mates and wondered just how men can get excited by sport or cars? You're interested in looking good, (vanity?) and I mean that in boy or girl mode. Maybe it's just me. [shrug].

Navel gazing aside: I guess what it really comes down to, is that I want my cake and eat it. I don't want to lose my family. Equally, I know that stopping isn't an option and it's foolish to lie to myself, or P., that I can.

On a positive note - and it's always good to end of a ray of light isn't it? - it is the bank holiday weekend (wooo, no work and family time!) AND we're all of on holiday soon. I can't wait to get away.

Take care and have fun.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A week of highs and lows.

I started this post on Wednesday night full of flipancy and froth that you've grown to expect on this blog. For those newbie readers, welcome to the war. :-) So, in the style of Channel 5's Brass-Eye news, I will be presenting this blog in a good-week bad-week stylee.

Good Week

It's the Easter break. Five days away from work. ****ing hey. Say 'risk management' time one more time. Say it again, I dare you. I double dare you MF. :-D

Earlier in the week H. picked up MaxFactor's new mascara (whose exact product name escapes me right now). It's fabby, but when you're used to the standard types, like I am, you've got to watch that you don't pile it on.

Talking of piling it on (seamless link there, eh?), this week's Chameleons had a visit from a Body Shop rep. I turned up late (more on that below) to find a lady talking to the group. Behind her she had a table full of divine fabbiness that is the Body Shop make-up encounter.

[ BTW, if you're a voodoo witchdoctor and you need to summon a tranny, I recommend a table full of slap, some killer heels and any high-energy disco number. Or, you can try Mudvayne too, but be prepared for hell in heels :-P ]

I waltzed in (not literally) feeling like I'd just come to class late. The call of "a volunteer?" rang out and - as no one else was daft enough to do it - I stepped forward and said that unless anyone else wanted to do it, I'll volunteer. No-one did, so off I went. I did manage to totally embarass myself by asking, "Do you want me to take it all off?" I did mean the slap and the wig, but of course, the comment was taken the other way.

So, there I sat, wig hair pinned back while my make-up was removed and I went back to bloke-in-a-dress-and-wig mode. Mind you, I'm a sucker for a bit of pampering and this was great! The advice and products was great. The make-over? Excellent!

Normally, I'm a brown palette for my eyes. However, this time, the young lady made me over with lilac and amethyst. Yeah, that was my thoughts. Lilac? No way. But it really worked! A really startling change. Subtle and very expertly applied.

She (cat's mother) also recommended that I try some bronzing powder for my goth-white chest and arms. If I was any paler I'd have 40w tattoo'd somewhere. God, I must make more of an effort to remember people's names. I never forget a face, but names. Sheesh!

I now know that I've been doing blusher wrong for years; my nail varnish is soooo last decade; you don't have to do strong eyes / soft lips and my 2 o'clock eyeshadow technique isn't the only way to make a cat over. Quite an evening!

Jane was kind / evil enough to do some before, during and after photos. Hopefully I'll get to see how things turned out.

Bad Week

I've enjoyed the openness that P. and I have developed in the last few months. However, it seems that I've overstepped that mark and... deep breath... things are not 100% in the Jones' household. At the risk of mixing my blog style with a pastiche of Smashie & Nicey..... Her's a quick lyrical smackdown thanks to Ms Crow:

"If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?"


Wise words mate. :-) I could have gone for anything by Trent Reznor, but no, I'll stick with Ms Crow's deep insight into the modern human psyche. :-)

P. says that if I continue to talk about make-up and clothes with her, then she thinks I'll drift out of the husband container and into the girlfriend category. Obviously, girlfriend material is not marriage material. D-I-V-O-R-C-E?

Fuck. So we had a long conversation Tuesday night about the whole TG thing (going out, interest in shopping / make-up or asking about ear piercing) and where do we go from here.

To be honest, I really don't know. Hell, I'm a man underneath it all and I like solutions. However, I'm just not sure on this one. I've promised to take things slowly and not go on about girlie things. When P. talks about clothes, shoes or make-up, I must try to remain calm and not go all supermodel in a talc factory (snooooort).

Ironically, we've a day off next week were P. and I are going shopping to get her a new outfit (for a friend's wedding). Perhaps I should remain home and do something macho like not tidy the house or take my motorbike to bits. :-) Shopping eh? It's just for poofs*, birds and metrosexuals right? :-( ( * ironic!)

Ahhh.. I've got Winamp on loop. It's just kicked off The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Now, that's wry. On the plus side, it's not "This is how it feels" by The Inspiral Carpets. :-)

You gotta laugh.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Summer Loving?

What is it with the Grease jokes? Enough already! Well, we've got an all male ballet review, so I guess it's just a matter of time before someone does a TG Grease. :-) Actually, dare I Google that? I'm sure someone's got some Sandy pix somewhere.

Summer Wardrobe

You may have already read that P. and I were having a bit of a sale on Ebay. Nothing like getting folk to give you money for you old tatt. Anyway, P. asked if I wanted to keep anything before she flogged it on. There was a very nice yellow and red (no, stay with me) sleaveless shift dress... which I have kept and wore to Saturday's Chams do in Leicester. I did my underarms - which took an age and still feel a bit odd now - although I did take a cardy for the trip between car and venue. I had a good time out and met some familiar faces and some new folk too.

The one down side with all this out and about trannying is that I forget to take a camera. :-\ Vanity? Moi? Non. :-)

Eh? Summer wardrobe?

Yeah, you got me. It is only just April and woooo, it is cold some nights. Don't let the bright blue skies and foxy summer fashions fool you. Like they did me. :-)

Kinky Boots

P. and I watched Kinky Boots the other night and found it pretty funny. Sometimes I think we go in, to any Brit comedy, expecting to laugh our socks off. While there were a couple of good lines, it didn't floor me. It was, however, good fun and although there were maybe two weak points in the plot, the film was worth watching and there are worse ways to spend an evening.

BTW, the guy who plays Lola is also in Serenity. So don't f*** with him/her.

Now for a bit of local colour. It's not quite on the same scale as the Northampton factory make-over, but just down the road used to be a firm called Beeva Garments. They made bras, controlware, etc for women. They were also the people behind crossdress.co.uk (I don't know if you ever had a look). The web site is still there, but the factory has been turned into trendy flats. That or they're having one hell of a make-over in there. :-)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Those summer niiiiights....

Out

Well last week at Chams was rather fun. A new girl turned up (Hi Simone!) and some old faces too. Ummm.. not that all of us have old faces... :-)

The new foundation worked a treat and H. asked to borrow it too. She seemed quite taken with it in fact. Women eh? Can't leave tranny things along can they? :-D

It's Leicester this weekend (hopefully), so I shall be pondering what to wear during Friday's management meeting. How are you supposed to pay attention when most meetings are soooo dull? Meetings, surely the devil's work? :-)

Surprise treat

I've been wondering about getting my ears pierced for a little while now. A number of men (yes, I am a guy, I'm sure some of you may struggle with that revelation [/sarcasm]) my age have had it done, so do I have the perfect cover? Anyone who makes a gag about mid-life crisis gets a Paddington bear hard stare. :-D

[Aside: semi-seriously though, I've had long hair (now cut off) and I ride a motorbike. I'm running out of ideas for a mid-life crisis. I don't fancy an affair. Any suggestions? :-) ]

So, I thought it would be best to discuss things with P. - after all, there's two of us in this relationship and communication is good right? We had a sensible and no-tears discussion about it and I take her point that while it would be useful for special nights out, the rest of the time, people will be wondering why I've got my ears done, but never wear earings. What made me laugh was P. saying I'd "look the wrong side of gay" and that would confuse people! Perhaps if I didn't have a buzz cut and perfect eyebrows. Then... bombshell... she says, why don't we have a look on eBay for some clip-ons? Two hours later of laughing ourselves silly at the shoes and clothes for sale, I've got two pairs of nice earrings arriving. Cool!

This weekend we may also be going shopping at Matalan. Now, I know some folk out there don't like the stuff that they do. Hell, I don't like all that they do, but I like enough to be able to shop there. P. has her eye on the spotty dress (she'd look great it in) and I'd like a gleg (sorry, a "peak" to you non-UK readers) to see what's new.

Secrets and lies?

I raised the issue of flogging some of my old gear on ebay rather than have it lurking around unused. "Like what?" P. asked. Ummm... a wig, I replied. That sparked off a series of questions such as were did I get it? and where you nervous when you bought it?. In case you're curious, Debenhams and 'yes'. That prompted a few more questions (such as when did I start, when did I stop and why?). These don't seem to weird P. out (which is good) but I'm a little nervous about talking about such matters. After years of hiding things and not mentioning certain topics (make-up, clothes, etc), it's a relief to be so open. So, in an SJP/sex-in-the-city stylee: are secrets corrosive?

It's all me-me-me

I stumbled across the following questions on Lizzbeth's site and thought I'd give it a go. Well, she did say I would fill it out. I hate to disappoint. :-) I'd be grateful that if you feel like cut and pasting, please leave a link (or your answers). The more the merrier!

1. First name:

Lynn

2. Were you named after anyone?

No.

3. Do you wish on stars?

Uh-uh baby.

4. When did you last cry?

All out floods and sobbing was during the stand-off in Crash (between the Egyptian shop keeper and the Little Girl's Dad). Most recently, I was a bit weepy at the end of The Constant Gardener too. What a wus eh? :-)

5. Do you like your handwriting?

No, it's terrible. Luckily, someone invented computers.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat?

Ham.

7. What is your birth date?

Never ask a lady that - even a part time one. Okay, Transtember '1842. :-P

8. What is your most embarrassing CD?

I tend to be pretty ruthless with stuff I don't listen to. I guess it would have to be an Iron Maiden CD from 1990.

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with yourself?

Probably not.  Apparantly, two virgos will fight like cat and dog.

10. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?

I share 99.9% of things with my wife, P.

11. Do looks matter?

They're nice, but a sense of humour / positive outlook are more important.

12. How do you release anger?

If the occasion is suitable, I just let it out. If not, I fume for a bit and try to relax.

13. Where is your second home?

My imagination.... if that's not too trite.

14. Do you trust others too easily?

Yes. I should stick with my first impression rather than always giving people the benefit of the doubt.

15. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Lego.

16. What class in high school do you think was totally useless?

Statistics. Useful if you go on to do science maybe, but pointless otherwise.

17. Do you have a journal?

Yes and you're reading it. :-) I've two more: one that's bloke orientated (no, not tits and cars) and a technical one (deep geek stuff).

18. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only when my lips are moving.

19. Favorite movie(s)?

The Green Mile; Aliens; Blazing Saddles.

If someone could combine all three, that would be very cool. :-)

20. What are your (acceptable) nicknames?

A contraction of my male name, but only to friends & family.

21. Would you bungee jump?

Probably, but it would take me some time to get the bottle up. I hate heights.

22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

My work shoes, no; I just kick them off.

23. Do you think that you are strong?

Physically or mentally? Physically, not really - bit puny to be honest. Mentally, I guess so. It's not like I go around thinking "don't f*** with me." I think confidence increases with age, there are things that you'd not accept when you're younger, but as a stroppy adult, that's no longer the case.

24. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Cookies and cream.

25. What size of shoe do you wear?

UK size 8, sometimes a 9 (in women's or men's). Perv. :-)

26. What are your favorite colors?

I like blue, although I find myself wearing a lot of pastel shirts for work (blue, pink, black etc but not white).

27. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?

Physically, my Desperate Dan jaw. I can also be grumpy and lazy.

28. Who do you miss most?

My late sister.

29. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back?

Absolutely! People are fascinating.

29. What color pants are you wearing?

If you mean pants as in "kecks", then red boxer shorts with white checks. If you mean american pants, then bootcut blue jeans.

30. What are you listening to right now?

The bird song outside and the drone of the computer fan.

31. What was the last thing you ate?

Pizza + garlic bread followed by fruit and some smoothie.

32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Shocking pink - somewhat garish and doesn't look right next to the other colours. :-)

33. What's the weather like right now?

A lovely spring afternoon, a little windy, but not too cold. (or at least it was when i started this post. Now it's pitch black).

34. Last person you talked to on the phone?

My mum.

35. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

How they're presented (facial expression, clothing, body language etc).

36. Do you like the person who sent this to you?

Yeah, I guess, I don't really know them, but they seem nice enough.

37. Favorite Drink?

Tea!

38. Eye Color?

Green.

39. Do you wear contacts?

Nope.

40. Favorite Day of the Year?

When the clock's go back in October. It means party season, autumn and Christmas is coming.

41. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

I hate films when everyone dies at the end (unless their deaths go on to mean something). So... happy endings!

42. Summer or winter?

Winter. Dark nights, fires, cosy clothes, Christmas etc.

43. Hugs or kisses?

Both.

44. What is Your Favorite Dessert?

Creme Brulee.

45. Who is most likely to respond?

Not a clue. Hopefully anyone!

46. Who is Least Likely to Respond?

P. :-)

47. Where Would You Want to Go on your next vacation?

Somewhere were P and I can relax and have good time messing around with our little lad.

48. What Books are you reading?

The Tale of Johnathan Strange & Mr Norrell.

49. What's on your mouse pad?

I don't have one anymore since P. bought me an optical mouse.

50. What did you Watch Last Night on TV?

P. was watching American Idol, so I had to leave. :-)

51. Where was the farthest you have been from home?

San Diego or somewhere far north west in Canada.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Keep 'em peeled

Police 5

[cue Shaun Taylor's voice over]

Monday, 20th March in Nottingham. Where you in the vicinity of Boots the Chemist? Perhaps somewhere near the make-up counter? Did you see a young man in motor bike gear approach the No. 7 counter? Shamelessly he asked the young lady assistant for some help in buying new foundation. Not only did the young rascal engage in polite conversation, but he paid for the goods promptly and politely.

If you saw him, call Tranny-Spotters now. Remember, you could get a Community Action bonus.


Slaptastic

Yeah, I finally get around to buying some new slap and yes, I was very nervous. It's odd really. It's one thing to walk around a shopping centre dressed like a women, but it's another thing entirely to walk up and ask for make-up as as a bloke. Funny old world init? :-)

Still, the young lady who served me was very helpful and chatty too. Apparantly, a lot of blokes buy No 7. Really? I wonder if it's just a certain group of blokes? Who knows. I did a jawline test while there, because, frankly, I didn't want to waste my pennies. Looks like they'll be a test drive this Thursday, as Chams is on again.

Equal Ops?

Last week work put on a Diversity Training workshop with four actors and a presenter... ummm... acting out various scenes of discrimination. Each little sketch would be about 5 - 10 minutes and then we'd be invited to discuss the issues.

I must confess I was expecting the whole thing to be very dull, but it was quite the opposite. We had most of the "isms" (racism, sexism, agism - careful how you say the last one) but they also chucked in homophobia. The latter wasn't so much out-and-out hatred, moreover that one of the characters (is that right?) was struggling to come out at work. He was intimidated by your bog-standard stereotype jokes from one of the other characters and he didn't want to come out for fear of being judged. This, naturally, rang a few bells. :-) I wonder how many other TG / closet gay folk where in the audience thinking the same thing? Oh to be a mind-reader some days eh? :-)

I don't plan on coming out at work, although I know a rare few who have. Some have come out, others outed. I don't think I'd like the latter (been there b4) although seriously I do wonder if anyone would really give a monkeys. Perhaps office gossip for a week or three and then you'd be background noise.

Not that I plan testing that theory.

Until next time.... keep 'em peeled. :-)

Monday, March 13, 2006

Group socials and fashion

Chams

Last week's Chameleons was pretty good. There was a quiz, which to be honest, was rather tricky. Still, better to be challenged than to breeze through it eh? :-)

That's it for the next two weeks or so for me. The group move down to Derby and the next Leicester gig isn't until next month. On the plus side, it does mean I can kick back on Thursdays/Saturday and there's no mad rush around the house to get dolled up... only to un-doll yourself at 11.... and on a school night too. Adults eh? :-)

Roses

I spoke with one of the Admins the other night who explained in great depth some of the issues the forum faces. It seems that the forum itself, like many other Internet communities - was the work of one person. When this person is gone, whoever picks up the torch has a lot of work to do. I don't know the full ins and outs of the current cull, but it sounds like the hosting company aren't being particularly helpful. Apparantly the forum uses up a lot of CPU time - rather than just bandwidth - and this is making the hosting firm push the Roses group into fixing things. Easier said than done. I hear that it's the photo section that may be the root of the problem. What is a tranny site without photos? :-)

I can see both sides of the argument, but I wonder if the forum would be treated differently if it was a business. Mind you, if it was a business, would said firm just chuck money at the problem until it was fixed? Money, the ultimate lubricant? :-)

Slap - but no tickle

I've still not got anywhere with getting any new base. My new job does not have flexitime, so getting out at lunch for a perusal of the shops, is not as easy as it was. Last week we (P + me + the boy) were in town and I did managed to get some samples from Boots. The Assistant asked me, "is it for you or your wife?" I must confess I bottled it and said it was for her. I did have a small toddler on my hip at the time and this, along with the crowds, made me nervous.

I suppose the best tactic would be just to travel to an out-of-town shop and - to use a fancy management term - JFDI. Just f***ing do it. :-) Hell, I've got a five quid voucher and they're offering freebies. My Scots ancestry have almost forced me to go. :-)

The Times

Last week Times2's Fashion section laid out the good, the bad and the ugly of this year's trends. Actually, that's not strictly true. What they said (to paraphrase) was what you should keep, what you should shred and what'll be around all season. Apparantly wrap dresses are sooo last season (balls); boots should be flat (rubbish, shoes should be high! It's tranny law) and jeans skinny. Unless you're a size 10 bean pole - can you do skinny jeans without looking like a carrot? Hmmm. Oh yeah, bootleg cut trousers are no longer cool. Cool, maybe not, but they are a damned sight more flattering than drainpipes.

I find these types of articles rather fascinating and for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I like women's clothes (like, duh. See blog title); it's fashion vs style sometimes and lastly, what happens when the media gets it wrong.

In October time I read that winter/xmas was going to be back to black and boots would be square heeled and round toed. Yet that's not what I saw on most women. Shoes remained pointy at the front and on the heel. Colour was everywhere. So who dictates what we wear? The Fashion houses, the highstreet or some strange hive men where women-kind flock towards an image they can pull off? Answers on a post card to the usual address.

Aside: [ Y'know that's one of the plus things about being a tranny. When you're watching the ladies, it's kinda double win: you think how nice they look AND you think how nicely they're dressed. Vanilla men - you're missing out. :-) ]

On that slightly camp note.... TTFN

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

How time flies....

Almost Like Clockwork

Firstly, thanks for the kind words. My apologies for not making things crystal clearn. So much for the software author job eh? :-) I guess I better re do the make-up chapter in A Dummy's Guide to Crossdressing.

Right... Stage 4. Close your eyes and imagine there's a clock face over your right eye. The outside point (the bit closet to your ear) of the right eye will be 9 o'clock, the inner corner (near your nose) is 3 o'clock. When adding in the shading - wow, didn't that sound technical? - you want to colour in (!!) between 9 and 10.

When it comes to your left eye, this swaps around. Nine o'clock is your inner eye point (near your nose) and 3 o'clock is the outer point of your eye near (going towards your ear). Now you want to shadow between 1 and 2 o'clock.

Once. Twice. Just two times a Lady

Saturday at Leicester was a good laugh. A different group of people this time, as well as some familar faces (hi Amanda!). The Nottingham Massive made it down so I had a good chat with some of the girls (and real girls) from the local branch. There was talk of a beauty contest (stop that laughing at the back!), although strictly in a very light hearted manner. The idea of a swimsuit entry was thankfully mocked and abandoned. We had a group photo taken at the end of the night and hopefully I'll get my hands when the main web server is back on-line. H. loaned me her new boots (v. comfy), so Saturday's ensemble was black suede boots, diamond patterned opaques, a beige skirt and my old kitty kat top. Three liitle puss-cats from Debenhams. Old, but what the hell.

Thursday, well, I guess I'm spoilt this week as Nottingham is on too. Now, just what to wear? :-) I had the my new dress last time; pink skirt + white top at Leicester; faux shirt at the 1st Nottingham.... So.... New shirt and my charcoal skirt? GAH! It's so much easier at a man* I guess it depends on the weather. It's been chucking it down recently. Still, better that than a hose-pipe ban in about 3 months.

* Actually, that's a lie. It's easy for work. It's just suit and tie most of the time. As to going out. Well, then it takes a little bit longer. I guess you can take the skirt off a tranny, but not.... No, wait, that gag's not going to work is it. Bu**er :-)