"Among the fields of gold..."

Howdy y'all,

Summer has truly arrived hasn't it? Well, at least in the Midlands it has. The sun's been shining and the Great British public has stripped off due to the warmth. Gone are the coats, jumpers and boots - replaced by cropped trousers and strappy vests. Luckily, apart from a few offenders (wink), this trend is restricted to just the women-folk. :)

Today's lyric is a song title - Sting to be specific, but I'd accept Eva Cassidy too - although I could have gone for 'And it was all yellow' from Coldplay.... but I'm not a fan.

(Ed: *ahem*)

Ummm? Oh yes. So why the line? Glad you asked :) The fields around the southern parts of Nottinghamshire are aglow with oil seed rape. Indeed when driving through the countryside, you seem to be in a sea of yellow flowers. It certainly brightens up the view! Luckily the smell is quite nice and I hear that it doesn't upset hay-fever sufferers. In some ways it's a shame that Google Earth / MS wotsit aren't a bit more real time because I'd like to see just how much rape seed we've got around us. Surely we can't be eating that much marg? Is it destined for our fuel tanks instead as bio-fuel?

This leads us - because basically this blog is a stream of consciousness - (Ed: the Saints' be praised for the delete button!) to the future. I'm obsess- no, 'obsessed' is too strong a word - keen? interested? No... fascinated? Yup - fascinated with the change of the past to the future. I love to see old buildings, new ones go up and even the shift from what was once 'cutting edge' and is now an accepted part of the background. The same applies to fashion and not just because I'm a tranny. Okay. Well perhaps because I am a tranny. Let's face it, most (straight) blokes don't give a hoot do they? :)

In that regard, photos are like the record of our architecture. They let us see who we've been and what was once 'cutting edge' is now old hat. We move. We change. Indeed it seems a shame, to me at least, that a longer term record isn't kept of our high streets and city centres as buildings are ripped up and replaced with new ones. I don't mind change, but sometimes I'd like to see what's gone before. I've read that with the rise of digital storage, we run the risk of losing our photo records as CD corrupt or formats become obsolete. Ahhh, the price of progress. :)

Here's to a sunny weekend!
Lynn
x

"We're programmed that way, In God we trust"

Hi,

Some days the writing muse just isn't with me. Early today I was pondering what I could write about but nothing - yes, nothing - sprang to mind. Maybe creativity is like sleep: you can't force it.

It wasn't until I'd got home and played with the kids that things started to click into place. In my son's room I could hear him giggling with joy as his Mum tickled him and got him ready for bed. In my arms, my baby daughter was slipping into sleep while I fed her a bottle. I know parents love their children, it's wired into us to ensure survival.

Perhaps then this is why the news of the man - and I use that term vaguely as I see little humanity in him - who locked his daughter away for so many years and then... Now this will sound melodramatic, so please forgive me, but my fingers halt when I try to type 'rape her'. I struggle to comprehend how someone can do that. At this time, words fail me. Perhaps it is better not to know why people do that.

I think about the children born into that vile world and then I look at my own kids. If we have souls, what twist of Fate ensures you 'land where you land'?

I like to dwell on the positive; that perhaps there is a point to this life yet when things like what happened in Austria, my gut instinct hopes that there's someone or something Out There(tm) that'll dish out vengeance. I know that is wrong and it'll do no good, but my nature - no, the anger in me - wants that. I want that man to know, to understand what he did.

---

In other more cheery news, Rachel's posted a link about a new TG focused study. It only takes a few minutes to fill out and it's about your life experience. Maybe I should have blogged about that! Oh well!! :)

Take care and enjoy the long weekend!
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Front Line Assembly's Bio-Mechanic ]

"You're the other side of the world to me"

Hey peeps,

Good week? I hope so.

So what's been going on in GenderLand then? Well, I was going to talk about spring cleaning and 'are you a hoarder' after I finally had a chuck out. It seems that spring has arrived because some of the other ladies from Chams had been doing the same thing. Trannys, we're just a slave to the seasons both in terms of fashion... and tidying up. :)

This weeks Chams was different for two reasons, firstly we had guests (more on that later) and as Sandi & Tracey where away, I had to open up. I must confess I was a bit nervous about it, but I'd got everything ready the night before, so I just needed to put the kids to bed, grab my bag and head off. I arrived quite early and there was no-one about. I put the milk away, got the signing in book from the cupboard and waited. I waited a bit more and I got that creeping doubt that I'd got the date wrong. Have you ever arrived to a meeting early and wondered if you'd got the right room or wrong time? Well, that was me.

I got tired to waiting and checked the book. Luckily, some kind soul had written the dates in there and it was the right day. Phew! So, as no-one was about, I thought I'd get changed in the side room behind the bar. I could hear who may come in and I wouldn't be out of sight of the money I'd put down. Of course, as soon as I started to put my face on (that's not as HellRaiser as it sounds), there was a knock at the door and Val wanted to be let in. Hurray! Company!!

Talking of company - and no names this time - we had two guests. A very nice couple who'd come along to ask questions about one of their relations. Their relation had recently come out to them as being TG and they wanted to learn about it. So we made them a drink (thanks Val!) and sat down and had a good old chat about the subject. They said that they knew very little about it and if it hadn't been for the Internet and the help of a friend they'd never have found the group or the knowledge they were looking for. I was surprised - and a little disappointed - to hear that they'd mailed other social groups and had nothing back. Oh, the perils of email eh?

It was a very interesting meeting because you don't get - well, not often - to engage with Jo(e) Public on such a level. Last night all sides got to ask and get the answers to various questions. It wasn't all serious and we had a few laughs along the way. I hope they left with a little less worry than when they came in.

Normally Chams is about a cup of tea and a chat. I know that may sound a tad dull to those of you who'd prefer a drink and a disco, but it's a great place to meet up with people who are like you. There's a lot to be said about a sense of community. Anyhoo, the last meeting was very much your classic 'support' meeting rather than a social. I left feeling happy to have met up with my friends and also hoping that they'd left feeling more positive.

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: Other side of the World by K T Tunstall ]

"What were skies like when you were young?"

Hello gentle readers,

Earlier in the week I had the pleasure of eating my lunch under pale blue sky in a local park. I sat quietly on a bench enjoying the view. My telephone was set to silent and I had nothing to rush back to the office for. Just me, a tasty sandwich, the distant rush of traffic and the soft whisper of a breeze. I could hear birdsong as I'd switched off my MP3 player. It was one of those cherished moments of calm that, if you're lucky, find you.

What made it all the more enjoyable is that I hadn't gone looking for it. I could have quite easily walked back to work, caught the bus or gone window shopping. Instead, I found my feet taking me along a route I'd never taken, a spur of the moment thing if you like. I sat with my thoughts just enjoying the greenry of the place, the rise of Spring out from Winter. The blue sky reminded me of childhood memories. The ones where the weather is idealised from memory: perfect summer sky, snow or lashing with rain.

My lunch finished, I dusted the crumbs from my suit and looked out over the park. A few people passed by, each one in their own thoughts. As I stood, I wondered how much of 'now' my son will remember. With the thought of my kids in my head, I dropped my litter in the bin (Ed: so middle class!) and set off back to the office.

Lyric: The Orb's Little Fluffy Clouds.

"Get out of clothes time..."

Hey peeps,

How's tricks? All good I hope! I've just come in from being sat in the garden enjoying the spring weather and now I'm being distracted by Futurama on Sky Three. So much for blogging while the TVs on. (Ed: no, not that type of TV).

[ time passes ]

Okay, now the gender bending festival featuring Coilette has ended, I can start waffling on. :-) I went out to Chams the other night and it was good to catch up with friends. The group decided on a logo and following last month's *ahem* wardrobe malady, a dress code and other amendments to the group's statement is firmly on the cards. After all, we wouldn't want Joe Public to think we're odd or anything now would we? :)

The other day I caught an article that mentioned Caryn Franklin's website / blog (remember her from The Clothes Show?). Ever curious, and lets face it name me a tranny who's not in search of quick fashion fixes, I thought I'd check it out.

There are some good tips on there but it's the blog that caught my eye. I'm not going to 'review' the site because that's not fair and quite frankly irrelevant. No, I was surprised to see how connected to some of the things a fashion writer had to say. I don't mean this in a "ooo, look at me, I'm +so+ in touch with my femme side" sh*te, but more the general - dare I say? - cynicism against the marketing of fashion. Perhaps I'm being naive, but really is there any other area of consumerism that is so heavily 'pushed' as fashion is? Mind you, I shouldn't bite the hand that feeds given that I shelled out on new jeans when I've already got a wardrobe of clothes as is. :D


How much do we go through in a year I wonder? In blokes clothing I buy infrequently and most of my wardrobe could be (politely) described as Surf Dad; you know: bootleg jeans, comfy trainers and 'skate' t-shirts (Ed: she doesn't mean skate as in fish either). Basically the half-pipe and slippers of the 00s. :D On the other hand - and let's face it I'm on a budget in terms of space, shopping time and cash flow - my female wardrobe moves much, much faster. Where does all this fast fashion end up? Charity shops? Landfill? China?

Interestingly (no really), there's an article (on-line) at Psychologies that discusses the 'must have it' phenomenon that drives us. Sure, it got us out of the trees and brought us to where we are today. However, the pursuit of material wealth, does it bring us lasting pleasure?

Today's lyric: Want you bad by The Offspring.

"The way she feels inside, Those thoughts I can't deny"

Hey there,

You know how those old routines used to start with: "A funny thing happened on the way to the theatre"? Well, I had two slightly odd incidents this week... and I don't even work in theatre. Two times where I'm glad I kept my trap shut rather than blurting out what's rattling around my brain.

The first incident was when I dropped my lad off at school. One of the mums - clearly a working mum - had on a pair of 20s style heels. I'd put money on them being the same ones I got from New Look the Christmas before last. I've got a pair just like them and they are probably the comfiest high heels I've ever owned. Great for dancing in too. I very nearly said to the lady who I was having a conversation with: "Great shoes, I've got some just like that." Luckily I didn't!

The second time around was at work. We were sat in the canteen talking complete rubbish having a comedy time-out and a young lady strolls by in a pencil skirt and a high necked blouse. You know the sort, they're in fashion at the mo. So my tranny circuits kick off and I nearly say: "I'm not sure about those high necked tops." Not the sort of thing you want to say to you unaware co-workers who you'd like to keep unaware! :-)

They say these things come in threes so I shall be watching what I'm saying for the next few days!

Take care and have a good weekend,
Lynn

PS: I bought my first pair of jeans this week. Well, ladies jeans anyway. A bargain and they'll make a change from the usual skirt or smart trousers I wear. (Ed: A tranny looking forward to wearing trousers? Something must be wrong :-) )

Today's lyric: Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects.

"Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear."

Yo!

Did you have a good Easter break? In fact, did you get a break over Easter? Not everyone does these days. Luckily for me, I did. Not that I'm one to gloat. Well, okay, maybe a bit :-)

The other night - at NottsChams - we had a dress code incident. Which is kinda funny (not funny ho ho) because officially we don't have a dress code. I appreciate that there is a certain amount of irony in a group of TG folk reporting what is proper attire. :-) Heh, proper attire, makes me sound like some school ma'am. :-) Now I'm not talking about short skirts or low tops. It's more - how can I put this tactfully? - ah, b*lls to it - fetish gear.

Y'see, the thing about Chams is that while it's a tranny club (Ed: leave it!) pretty much everyone (unless they turn up in bloke mode) makes the effort to look female. I don't mean twin set and pearls. No, clothes range from casual, office, goth, glamorous, punk(y) to bang on trend. However, the link between any of those looks is that the wearer has tried to present a female appearance.

This, I feel, leads us into the crux of the problem. If you turn up very early, the previous groups - kids plus parents - may still be about. From a distance the kids may see a couple of tall or perhaps rather shoulder heavy ladies (Ed: laydeees?) heading into one of the side doors. It's another thing to see a bloke in a too short maid's outfit in loafers and a pair of stockings. No wig, no make-up. You get the picture.

Daphne and I had a quiet word with the person in question because - and I'll be honest here - we (the group) do not feel this is what the group is about. Now, I feel a bit bad about telling this chap that he can't dress like that at Chams, but.... would I want a group of burly guys in maids' outfits turning up? No. Would I want the group to have to move on because we've overstepped the boundaries and upset the other tenants? Again, no. Man, I hate being a clothing fascist. :-)

I guess this flip side to this is would I go to a fetish nightclub dressed in either jeans + t-shirt or a wrap dress and stillies? No, not really. :-)

[ Today's lyric: Fight for your right to party by the Beastie Boys ]